Pink Blossom
by Danax
Summary: Sasuke's words have made Sakura numb so she makes herself feel by causing pain to herself.She wants to be free of Sasuke.Kakashi starts to be there for her and love her.She starts to believe that maybe life will get better when she has someone beside her.
1. Another day

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot. **

This is a KakaSaku fanfic, if you don't like it then go somewhere else. And Sasuke is the rival in this fic so if you don't like that either you really should read something else.

Sakura: 19

Naruto: 19

Sasuke: 19

Kakashi: 33

_Dreams, thoughts and flashbacks, **inner Sakura

* * *

**_

Another day, another morning and another training session at the training grounds. The team 7 had trained much and accomplished many missions. Teamwork had partly died. All the fun had died. Naruto was now a Jounin so was Sasuke, Sakura was still a Chuunin. The training sessions had become just a habit. Sakura needed to be trained or so she said and Naruto and Sasuke just followed.

Sakura dragged herself to the training grounds. She was tired, another night when she couldn't sleep. Another night she had cursed Sasuke's name and another day more hating Sasuke. She had gotten over Sasuke right after he had come back, she was glad that she had no warm feelings towards him.

She looked forward. Sasuke was there. Naruto was there. Kakashi wasn't there. He was late again.

"Good morning, Naruto." Sakura smiled happily and sat on the ground next to Naruto.

"Good morning Sakura-chan!" Naruto said and grinned. Sasuke said nothing, he had given up. He didn't care anymore about her, like he ever had.

Sasuke had gotten back after he had killed Orochimaru and Itachi. He had gotten his revenge and the power. Everyone was glad that he had come back especially Sakura. That was then. He had come back as a totally different person, he was cold and harsh.

Sakura was checking her weapons as two feet appeared in front of her.

"Kakashi-sensei, you're almost on time." Sakura said in a shock and looked up. **_God, he's tall…_** Inner Sakura notified.

"Good morning to you too, Sakura." Kakashi grinned under his mask.

"Sensei! Sensei! What are we going to—" Naruto started but was interrupted by Kakashi:

"Training. We'll start with 500 push-ups, 500 sit-ups and 500 backs. And Sakura, you'll do women's push-ups."

"Kakashi-sensei. I prefer men's push-ups." Sakura said coldly and began doing push-ups. Kakashi looked at Naruto with questioning look but received only a shrug from him.

Sakura had begun acting weirdly two years ago, she had been talking with Sasuke and she had been happy before the day but after that day everything was different. Now she never needed anyone's help, she had started improving her in every areas, taijutsu, genjutsu, ninjutsu, her stamina, speed and strength, all gotten much better since then.

She didn't talk to Sasuke at all. She was training all the time and when she wasn't training she was in the hospital helping Tsunade with all the patients. She was always busy and sad. But she wasn't the same Sakura anymore as she was when she was 12, she was just some strong Chuunin kunoichi. A lot more stronger than a Chuunin.

_435… 436… 437. 438. 439. 440. Only 60 more, you can do it Sakura. You can do it. Do it. 445. Don't let him win. **He's not gonna win**. _

"Sakura." Kakashi said from somewhere above her.

"One moment, Kakahsi-sensei. 450. 451."

"Sakura."

"What?" Sakura asked angrily and stopped doing her push-ups.

"Rest." he said plainly.

"I don't need rest! I need to do these push-ups and sit-ups and backs." she notified angrily.

"There is a reason for that I'm your sensei."

"So? Get to the point!"

"I said that you'll do women's push-ups."

"The point is?"

"You are not doing women's push-ups. There is a reason for that there are women's and men's push-ups. Start doing sit-ups." Kakashi said looking sternly at her.

"Why can't I do some Goddamn men's push-ups!" she yelled which made Naruto and Sasuke look at them.

"Because I say so." Kakashi said.

"Why are you always acting like I'm some kid? I can do men's push-ups! Why don't you believe me! I am totally capable of doing all the things that Naruto and that bastard are doing!" she yelled to Kakashi and got up from the ground.

"Since when have I become the bastard! I just told you the truth!" Sasuke yelled. Sakura ignored him. She wasn't in the mood of talking to Sasuke and she would never be. Sakura glared at Sasuke and left the training grounds leaving the guys looking a bit confused. Kakashi and Naruto never thought that this situation could go this far. It was always calm, Sakura didn't speak to Sasuke and Sasuke didn't speak to her, Naruto had eased donw a bit and Kakashi was always reading his books. It had been calm.

Tears started rolling from Sakura's eyes even though she had done everything she could to stop the tears. She was hurt and no one understood and no one would ever understand. She had told no one what had happened at that day and she wasn't going to. She was getting scared, she believed what Sasuke had said, the words had found a place in her heart and that part of her heart was dying.

_I'm strong. I don't cry! Stop crying! Sakura what the fuck is matter with you! Can't you see? He's already winning. He's winning._

Sakura tripped. She got up to a sitting position and hugged her knees. Her body was strong but her mind was weak. That day had been the worst.

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

"_Sasuke-kun! You came!" Sakura screamed in happiness. _

"_Hn…" _

"_So why did you want to meet me here?" Sakura asked looking around, they were at the memorial. _

"_I need to talk to you."_

"_Okay." Sakura smiled. _

"_First you can wipe that smile from your face. It makes me sick." _

_Sakura's world came crushing down, he really did hate her. Sakura said nothing, she just wanted to go home and cry. _

"_We all know that you are not that good ninja. So drop it. You can never become a Jounin. I even wonder how you can be a Chuunin or a medic. Everyone here just pities you. Even Kakashi-sensei pities you. Why else you would have two senseis at the same time? They just don't have the guts to tell you that you can never be as good as me or Naruto. You can't make it. You're pathetic."_

"_Are you finished?" Sakura asked quietly._

"_No, I need to ask of you something."_

"_Then ask so that I can leave." she said angrily._

"_I need an heir." _

"_You just expect me to have sex with you just after you insult me? Forget it!"_

"_Yes. We all also know about your fantasies. And I pity you so much that I'm willing here to fulfil on of those."_

"_Fuck you." she said quietly._

"_What?"_

"_SASUKE! FUCK YOU!"_

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK

* * *

_

"Sakura." Kakashi said softly.

"Go away." she said quietly. _Sasuke… You were right 'bout one thing… He pities me._

"Sakura." he said again.

"What?"

"Let me take you home."

"You can stop the act." She said quietly gaining her confidence.

"Huh?"

"You can stop treating me like some orphan that you happen to pity. I don't need that from you!"

"I don't pity you." he notified.

"And you can stop lying to me."

"You think I'm lying to you? I have never lied to you. You if anyone should know that." Kakashi said and sat next to her.

She didn't answer. She just wiped her tears and took a deep breath.

"If that's something that Sasuke said to you, you can forget it. He's not the same person anymore, he's something colder." Kakashi said and his words echoed in her body, she knew he was right.

"I'm sorry." she sighed.

"Don't be", he said and put his hand on her shoulder, "there's nothing to be sorry about."

"Why can't I do men's push-ups?" she asked quietly and leaned on him.

"Didn't you have the accident with your hand a couple of days ago? I thought that it would be better if you wouldn't overdo it."

"But, I thought that you were—"

"-Underestimating you? No, besides you need to train very much now. You're going to participate in the coming Jounin test."

"I'm not strong enough." she sighed.

"You are and I'll train you, Tsunade said that it was ok with her."

"Are you sure 'bout the test.. I mean I could wait a couple of years."

"You should've taken the test at year ago. Maybe sooner, you've waited far too long."

"Thank you, but I know that I was too weak year ago." she smiled to him. For the first time in two years she smiled a real smile, not anything faked just one true smile. That was something that he had missed. Maybe everything was getting better now, maybe she was changin back into her old self. If she was, he would be there for her and help her in everyway he could.

* * *

I know this was a short chapter. But it only started, the next chapters will be longer. And next chapter will be posted in two weeks (I'm writing other stuff too and there's the school). Any questions, suggestions or anything please review... **Reviews are welcome!** -danax 


	2. Everyone needs help sometimes

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

You reviewed! Thank you so much, you made my day by reviewing! So here's the new chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

"I HATE YOU SASUKE! I HATE YOU!" Sakura yelled and threw a vase to a wall. The vase shattered to a million pieces. No one heard her scream, she was alone in a dark house, and her parents had been dead for 3 years.

Sakura collapsed to the floor crying, she shivered because the floor was cold. The only time when she cried was at nights or in a hot shower, when no one could see her or hear her cry. Sasuke's cruel words echoed in her head which made her cry even harder, she had lost her sense of reality. She believed Sasuke's words. _Everyone here just pities you. Even Kakashi-sensei pities you. SHUT UP! Everyone pities you. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You can't make it. You're pathetic. _Sakura hated the fact that she was never been able to shut Sasuke's voice in her head, she had to listen to it every night for two years now. She didn't know how to shut the voice and how to forget that day.

Sakura dried her tears with her pajamas' sleeve. She got up from the cold stone floor and walked soundless back to her bedroom. She crawled under the covers and listened for a couple of hours Sasuke's words in her head.

Her nights had been always like that since that day. Since that day she was always tired, she got almost no rest at all, his words haunted her.

* * *

It was a bright and warm spring day as Sakura walked towards Ino's house. Sakura was so tired as always. Sakura felt like the sun didn't warm anything inside of her, Sakura's blood was icy cold, it felt like her heart didn't beat and everything were just cold and blue. She shivered a bit.

Sakura was just about to knock on Ino's door when Ino stormed out of the house bumping to Sakura. Sakura fell on her butt and silently cursed herself for that she wasn't able to move aside in time. Sakura got up glaring Ino.

"Oh! Forehead girl!" Ino laughed and got up from the ground.

"Ino-pig." Sakura said and dusted her clothes. Ino squeaked something that Sakura couldn't make out and then Ino hugged Sakura like she was Ino's dearest teddy bear.

"You can let go now." Sakura said and Ino took a step away from her.

"Lets go to training grounds!" Ino said happily and began to drag Sakura with her.

"What is so important at training grounds? I thought we were going to café with Tenten and Hinata?" Sakura asked.

"Shikamaru is there. And we can catch up with Tenten and Hinata a bit late." Ino laughed and sped up her walking.

"Ino. Is there something you haven't told me?" Sakura asked warningly.

"After the party last week, I kissed him! I totally kissed Shikamaru!" Ino screamed in happiness.

"Ino, you have kissed guys before. What is so special in Shikamaru that makes you glow?"

"I dunno." Ino said and stopped, they had reached the training grounds and Ino saw Shikamaru not so far for them laying on a clearing.

"Oh man, I'm going to the café now!" Sakura said as she saw the look on Ino's face.

"No! You're staying here with me!" Ino said and grabbed Sakura's wrist and dragged her with her to Shikamaru who was still laying on the ground.

"Hi, Shikamaru!" Ino smiled her best smile.

"Hi, Ino and Sakura." Shikamaru said and his eyes were closed.

"I'll leave you two for now." Sakura said and walked away from them and Ino didn't even notice that Sakura vanished from beside her.

Sakura walked to another clearing and looked at the sky. Sakura felt empty she sighed and chewed her lower lip. Sakura began punching and kicking a log, she needed something to do while Ino was flirting with Shikamaru and a little training wouldn't hurt.

Sakura pictured Sasuke in front of her and kicked the log, punched it, side kick, roundhouse kick and a punch which made the log shatter into a small and sharp pieces. Sakura wished that the log had been Sasuke, but to her disappointment it had been just a log.

She walked around a bit and sighed again, she felt lonely and she didn't trust anyone. She had felt so alone since that day at training grounds. She didn't enjoy living her life like she once had. Sasuke had ruined her life although Sakura thought that he just opened her eyes.

Suddenly Sakura felt cold steel on her throat, it was a kunai. One hand was holding the kunai on her throat and other hand was keeping her hands still, it was Sasuke.

"How can you even be a Chuunin if you let your guard down so easily?" Sasuke asked coldly knowing that she didn't have a good answer to that, whatever she answered she would make a fool of herself.

"Why don't you press that kunai a little harder and if you're lucky you get to see blood?" Sakura suggested and leaned a bit forward so that her skin broke and she felt blood rolling down from her neck to her shirt. She liked the pain she felt on her throat, pain had no pity on her.

"Playing though, are you?" Sasuke said and released her and took a couple of steps away from her. Sakura turned around and looked at him coldly.

"Lets fight." she said, not even thinking that she should heal herself first. She didn't want to heal herself, the pain was her friend, her only friend.

"You wouldn't stand a chance against me." Sasuke laughed cold heartedly. He thought her as the same 12 year old girl who needed someone to protect her. How wrong was he…

Sakura hated that he thought that she was still like that. She took a deep breath and moved in a fast way behind him and now she was holding the kunai on his throat. Before she could even think about killing him, he punched her with his elbow so that she had to take few steps away from him.

When Sasuke turned around Sakura saw that he had his Sharingans activated. Sakura's heart stopped for a second but after the second she was ready again to kick his ass or even kill him. She ran towards him attacking with all her force but he kept dodging her every attack and he walked backwards towards another log. When he was almost standing against the log Sakura tried to kick him with all the force she could gather using chakra. He dodged it and the log shattered.

Sakura was breathing heavily as Sasuke attacked her with kicks and punches and she didn't have the time to move away from his attacks so she kept taking serious bruises to her body. Then she started to feel light headed and dizzy but she kept going and trying her best to find a counterattack or anything which would make him back off of her.

Sasuke sent a kunai shower towards her and suddenly Sakura felt strong arms circling her and taking her away from Sasuke's attack. Her rescuer had taken the kunai shower in order to save her and they landed with a thump on the ground.

Sakura saw Sasuke ran away and then she looked at her rescuer, silver hair, Jounin uniform, strong hands and a mask. It was Kakashi.

"You shouldn't have done that." Sakura said angrily but didn't get an answer.

"I could've handle it!" she continued angrily but Kakashi remained silent.

"Are you even listening to me!" Sakura yelled angrily. Then she took a better look at Kakashi. He was laying on the ground and under his back was a lot of blood. Sakura's heart stopped again and the dizziness and light-headedness vanished quickly. She carefully moved Kakashi so that she could heal him.

First the took the kunais from his back and pressed her hands on his back to slow the bleeding. She did a few hand seals and began to heal the worst wounds on his back. When she had healed his worst wounds she lost her consciousness.

* * *

Sakura woke up with a start. Blue eyes and blond and spiky hair in front of her, the thing was breathing on her face. Soon she realized that it was Naruto and he was a little too close to her.

"NARUTO! BACK OFF YOU BAKA!" Sakura yelled to Naruto's ear and Naruto fell on the floor.

"Sakura, how many times I've said that don't heal a patient using all of your chakra? And how many times I've said that heal yourself before battling someone?" Tsunade asked from the other side of the room.

"I haven't counted the times but many." Sakura said and closed her eyes, she was so tired.

"We will let you rest now." Tsunade said.

"How… How is—"

"Kakashi's fine. You did great job healing him." Tsunade said and dragged Naruto out of the room.

Sakura sighed and closed her eyes, she knew that it would be another sleepless night and she knew that she would keep cursing his name 'til she got some rest.

* * *

It was past midnight and Sakura got of the bed. She had slept for a couple of hours but she woke up from a dream where she was back again at the training grounds, she even dreamt about that day. She walked to the hall and went into the room where Kakashi was supposed to be. She closed the door quietly and took a chair and put it beside Kakashi's bed. Yes, he hated hospitals but he had too much blood so Tsunade had made him stay at the hospital for one day 'til he'd be strong enough to go home.

"Sakura…" Kakashi said silently.

"Sorry, I woke you up." she said quietly and sat down onto the chair.

"You didn't."

"You shouldn't have done it." Sakura whispered to him.

"Done what?"

"You shouldn't have saved me. You shouldn't have come. I can take care of myself, believe it or not."

"No."

"What?"

"You couldn't have dodge the attack, and even you need help sometimes." Kakashi said a bit angrily and he knew it sounded harsh but someone had to say that to her.

"I don't need help." Sakura said and it sounded like she was on the verge of crying.

"Sakura, everyone needs help sometime. And you can't keep shutting everyone out of your life. You can't keep living like that."

"I'm not shutting everyone—"

"—Sakura, you are. Do you even talk to anyone anymore? Do you have anyone that you can truly trust? Do you have anyone?"

"I-I… I have someone." she lied, he was right, she had no one she trusted or anyone who she could talk to, she was all alone and yes she shut everyone else out of her life.

"No you don't", Kakashi said angrily, "why do you keep lying to me?"

She said nothing if she said something he might hear that she was crying.

"When was the last time you slept a goodnight sleep?"

"I don't remember." she said so quietly that there was no way that he could hear the trembling of her voice.

"You've been like that fro two years now and you haven't slept well in two years! How the hell do you live?"

Sakura got up and walked out of the room and closed the door, her cheeks were wet of crying. He was right and she knew that and she hated him for it. She hated that he always knew when something was wrong in her life, he knew when she was lying and it felt like he was invading her life. She hated and loved him for it.

Sakura ran to her empty house filled with screaming silence and haunting words which Sasuke had said a long time ago. The house was her only escape and it was her prison at the same time, almost all of her bad memories had something to do with the house.

She walked in front of a mirror and looked at herself from it, she was just plain, her hair was now just below her breasts and she had some figures but she had no match for Ino, Tenten or Hinata. All they had their special traits and looks but she was just plain Sakura with pink hair. One tear escaped from her eye and Sakura crashed the mirror.

She went to bed repeating to herself that she wasn't weak and trying to silence Sasuke's words, this would be again another of those nights. Another sleepless night.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry that it took so long to update but school isn't treating me nice. And the two last weeks of this months, I won't update 'cause I have infamous test week in our school. **

**But anyways, ask if you have questions, tell me if you have suggestions and if you have neither then REVIEW!**

**Thanks for reading this fic! -danax**


	3. Radio

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own Naruto or its characters…**

Sorry for the late update but here's the chapter, I hope you like it!

I had a song which inspired me for write this chapter:

Radio by the Corrs

You should listen to it.

* * *

"He's right. He's always right!" Sakura almost screamed and threw a book to the floor. She was mad at everyone especially mad at Kakashi because he had said the right words at the right time to her when she didn't want to hear them. She knew everything wasn't going ok in her life but she didn't need to hear it from Hatake Kakashi. And she was also mad at him for saving her from that shower of kunais and she knew that she would have to apologize and thank him. She didn't want to do either of them. 

Sakura sighed, got up from her bed, picked the book from the floor and put it on her desk. She looked out of the window seeing sunshine and a blue butterfly. She felt cold. She remembered how she used to love the time just before summer and how she used to spent all of her time outside hanging out with Ino and at summer how she loved to just go to the beach and lay in the sun. But now she wasn't like that anymore, she hated the summer and the spring and she felt just cold all the time. She wanted to feel anything, anything except the numbness.

Sakura somewhat hated living, she didn't feel, sleep and she barely ate. She was always pushing herself to her limit in training and work, pushing herself to show everyone that she wasn't the weakest link. She wanted to have a normal life with normal problems and normal dreams like everyone else had.

Sakura sighed again and decided to go outside to get some fresh air.

* * *

Kakashi looked at the clock realizing that he was 3 hours late. He was leaning on a wall and waiting. He didn't get why the Hokage was keeping him waiting even though he was already late, wouldn't it be easier for everyone just to let him go inside the office and stop doing nothing. 

The door to Hokage's office opened and Tsunade commanded Kakashi to come in.

"Yo." Kakashi said as he sat down onto a chair. Tsunade just sighed as she was watching out of the window.

Kakashi was about to open his mouth and ask what was the reason for this appointment when Tsunade started talking:" You know that everything or perhaps nothing is ok in Sakura's life."

"Even a fool can see that." Kakashi sighed.

"She came to me yesterday and asked to be transferred to another team, she said it was either her or Sasuke. And then she said that everything would be better in team 7 if she changed the team. I told her that I would consider it." Tsunade said as she turned around to see Kakashi.

"That's not true", Kakashi said almost angrily, "yes, Sakura maybe isn't as good as Naruto or Sasuke but she has her own unique skills her work as a medic in our team is irreplaceable."

"I know that and with a little more training she will be better than me, but she requested a transfer to another team. Kakashi, tell me why would she want to change her team?"

"I haven't got the slightest clue, she doesn't exactly talk to me or Naruto and she avoids Sasuke as much as it's possible, so how I should know?"

"That's why I have a mission for you, find out." Tsunade said sternly.

"How?"

"Be her friend, listen to her and if she doesn't tell anything, you make her tell. She spends too much time in training and working, she's tired all the time, she has had huge bags under her eyes for years now and she's losing weight all the time and if someone asked me, she's depressed and she has enormous lack of sleep and her condition might change into something worse."

"When do I start?" Kakashi asked.

"Now, you have one month. You're dismissed."

* * *

"Sakura!" Sakura heard Ino's voice yelling and stopped her walking. 

"Sakura! Sakura!" Ino yelled and Sakura turned around.

"What?" she asked.

"Lets go to dancing tonight." Ino said happily.

"No."

"Why not?" Ino asked and clung onto Sakura's hand.

"'Cause I don't feel like dancing." Sakura said and shook Ino of her hand.

"You never feel like it." Ino sighed.

"Too bad for you. Besides what would I be missing, drunk guys who would be groping, drunken girls crying somewhere, a huge headache in the morning?"

"You would be missing a hell of a one night stand."

"I don't do one night stands." Sakura said, the conversation was getting a bit boring; they have had the same conversation about 399 times.

"Lets see, you don't do one night stands, you don't have a boyfriend and you most certainly don't have a girlfriend, how the hell do you live?"

"That's easy, I get up in the morning, I go to do some training, then some work, then some more training, then I go to home and then the same all over again."

"Well, that's boring way to live your life."

"Not to me." Sakura said and looked at Ino.

"Fine, don't come tonight, I'll ask Tenten." Ino said and walked away.

Sakura sighed as she looked at Ino's back which was fading from her eyesight fast. Sakura shook her head and went to a grocery shop to buy some food into her empty fridge.

She walked past shelves packed with different kinds of cans and packets. She sighed as she looked the shelf where the ramen were. The ramen packets were on top shelf and she would have to ask some help or forget all about ramen. She started to feel herself so short as she tried to reach out for a packet of ramen. The next thing she felt was that someone reached over her and took a packet of ramen and gave it to her.

"Wha-? Thank you so much." Sakura said as she turned around the see some stranger who had helped her.

"You're welcome uh…"

"Sakura." Sakura said to the brown haired and eyed stranger.

"Well, you're welcome, Sakura." he said and walked away.

Sakura also bought some milk, bread, cheese, yogurt and grapes. She could live with that amount of food for a week or maybe a week and a half.

When she walked out of the grocery shop she almost bumped onto Sasuke but with a small spin she avoided it. Not saying a word she just passed Sasuke like he wasn't even there.

She walked a few meters away when she felt a hand on her shoulder, automatically she thought it was Sasuke.

"Would you please stop harassing me, it's enough that I see you almost everyday!" she yelled and turned around to see the same man who had helped her earlier. "Oh, it's you. I'm so sorry, I thought you were uh, someone else." Sakura said quietly.

"It's fine, it's fine. Do you know where the bank is?" he asked, he actually looked kind of lost.

"Oh, it's just around the corner, turn left when from there." Sakura said pointing a road.

"Thank you, Sakura." he smiled.

"You're welcome—"

"Sky. My name is Sky." he laughed.

"Alright, you're welcome, Sky." Sakura said and continued her walk back to her home.

* * *

After unpacking her shopping bag and cleaning up a bit she decided that she would need to go to get a drink or two in order to get some sleep tonight. 

Sakura put her hitai-ate on and left her house. The air was cold but she had her black jacket on which was quite warm. She wanted to go to a bar where she wouldn't see anyone she knew so she went to a bar which was infamous of its bar fights.

As she was getting closer the bar some guy started to yell and whistle to her, she hated that but decided to not to do anything if he didn't. She kept walking 'til her senses said that he was right behind her. She didn't even turn around before she opened her mouth:" Didn't your mama told you to always keep your back hand up protecting your face all the time?"

"Yes." the drunken man said not getting where their conversation was going.

"Then tell me why isn't your back hand up protecting your face?" she asked angrily and kicked him onto his cheek breaking a few bones and some skin. Sakura just sighed and went into the bar as the man lost his consciousness.

She could smell the smoke and alcohol in the air. Not caring about them she went to a sit on a barstool and ordered some warm sake. It didn't take long for her to drink the whole bottle and order another one. She had a full glass and an empty heart, she thought that maybe the full glass would fill her heart. She kept drinking and ordering some more 'til she felt a hand on her shoulder and a man's voice said something to the bartender who nodded.

"Wha-" Sakura slurred as she turned around on the barstool and seeing Kakashi.

"That's enough." he laughed and put some money on the table.

"I get to decide when it's enough. Bartender! Give me a-an-another one, pleeeeeaaaseeee." she said.

"No, she'll be fine without." Kakashi said and tried to get Sakura up from the chair.

"Stop touching me you pervert! I can get up by myself!" Sakura said angrily and when he let go of her she almost fell but he caught her.

"It seems to me that you don't. Come on, I'll get you home." Kakashi said and started dragging her out of the bar.

"Let go of me!" she yelled, she wanted to go back and drink some more sake.

"No, you need to sleep!"

"I. Can't. Sleep!"

"Why?" he asked looking at her.

"Because!"

"Why?"

"Because I can hear him at nights! And he never shuts the fuck up!"

"Who?" Kakashi asked realizing that he could get all the information out of her now when she was drunk and not knowing what she was doing.

"Sasuke!"

"You can hear him at nights?" Kakashi asked in disbelief.

"Yes! Now let go of me!" she yelled and tried to free herself from his tight grip but she couldn't.

"And that's why you don't sleep?" he asked and started dragging her again.

"Yes! Just let me go, alright?" she begged.

"No. I'm gonna take you to home and make sure that you will sleep."

"I can't sleep!"

"I know that." he laughed, their conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"How can I sleep if I can't sleep!"

"You'll see…"

"Fine!" she said and started sulking.

As they were on her doorstep Kakashi realized that the door wasn't locked and took her to her bedroom. She went sit on the bed as Kakashi tried to find the stereos.

"Where are your stereos?" he asked.

"On the bookshelf right in front of you." she said and lay down.

"Alright." he said and put the stereos on, he tuned the radio channel and then the voice so that it wasn't too loud but she could hear the music.

"Alright, start sleeping." Kakashi said and went to sat onto a chair.

"Mmmm-hmmm… What about you?"

"I'll be here just in case."

"I don't need a guy in my room to make sure that I will sleep." she said and closed her eyes.

"Now you do." he said sternly, so that she would understand that he wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Fine!" she said angrily and for her surprise as she closed her eyes, she could only hear the music, no Sasuke, only the music.

* * *

Sakura woke up into a headache and bright light coming from her window. She groaned and put her head under her pillow. She listened for a second, her stereos weren't turned on. She was hiding from the light for a while 'til she realized that she couldn't sleep so she got up in the sitting position and looked at her table, there were two aspirins, a glass of water and a piece of paper. 

She got up slowly, took the pills and drank the water. Then she took the paper in her hands and read it: _No training today, K-sensei._ She groaned and went to take a cold shower hoping that it would make her feel a bit better.

When she turned on the shower she realized that she had forgotten to say that she was sorry and she would have to thank Kakashi twice, for saving her from the kunai shower and the music.

The first time in two years, she had a good night sleep and she wasn't tired in the morning.

* * *

**A/N: **Alright, REVIEWS PLEASE! Tell me did you like it or hate it or just suggestions 'cause I'm writing this for you guys! Thank you so much for the previous reviews! I love you guys, you rock! -danax 


	4. First date

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely nothing, well, except the plot. **

I've realized that the more you review, the more anxious I am writing next chappies. So… It's easy to guess what I'm saying (writing), if you want to have faster chappies then review a lot and btw, you guys rock! I got 18 reviews (from the previous chapter) so I'll try to write this a little longer chapter for you guys!

* * *

Sakura woke up in the ringing of the doorbell. She looked at the clock, it was half past two and very shiny. Her hangover had eased a bit from the morning but not much. She touched her hair and realized that it was still damp and messy. 

Sakura got up from her bed and quietly crept to go and open the door whoever it was. As she opened the door an orange figure jumped from outside on top of her, making both of them to fall down.

"SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto yelled on the top of his lungs when he had gotten up from the floor.

"Not so loud." Sakura whispered from the floor.

"Oh, sorry." Naruto said and helped Sakura from the floor.

"What are you doing here? I thought you have a mission today?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, we leave in 3 hours." Naruto said and sat onto a kitchen chair.

"Will Sasuke go with you?" Sakura asked, hoping that he would go and get himself killed. _**Hell yeah! Sasuke's dying face, in PAIN! **Shut the fuck up. It hurts enough when you aren't yelling in my head…_**Yeah, whatever…**

"No. He will stay at Konoha."

_**Doesn't he EVER LEAVE?** _Inner Sakura screamed and started throwing things in Sakura's head.

"So how long is the mission going to last?"

"One year." Naruto sighed.

**_Why Sasuke can't go away for a year? WHY? WHY!_ **Inner Sakura started crying desperately.

"Oh."

"Hey, Sakura-chan! I'll be alright, you'll see, when I come back—"

"—You're going to be the greatest Hokage of all time, Naruto, I do not have any doubts about it." Sakura said.

"Alright then, I have to go to do some packing and then perhaps say goodbye for a few friends." Naruto got up from the chair and in fast movement he was hugging Sakura.

"I can't breath. Naruto. Let go of me." Sakura gasped and Naruto released her immediately.

"Bye, Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled, he was already outside. Sakura sighed and closed the door. She went back to bed to sleep and to get rid of her hangover.

* * *

Sakura woke up and her headache was almost gone. She looked at the clock and it was half past five. She quickly got up from her bed and dressed into black sweatpants and a black tank top. She would need some exercise. 

She ran to a small forest track which was perfect for running. She started running slowly, enjoying the smell of the forest and the silence. The late afternoon sun warmed Sakura's clothes but she didn't feel the warmth on her skin.

_Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me… Maybe it really is warm… _

Sakura sighed at her thoughts and ran a bit faster.

_Everything is so fucked up. Maybe things will be better when I change my team, well, if Tsunade allows me to change my team. Probably not. If she's not going to allow it, either I will be dead or Sasuke. Maybe I should just confront him and tell him the truth, he's nothing but a liar and a desperate guy. Hah, desperate enough to ask me to have sex with him… Hah. That was quite desperate… Haha. _

Suddenly Sakura stopped at a small clearing, she hadn't seen it before. She looked back, where she had come from and realized that she must've turned in the wrong direction. Sakura sighed and continued her running even though she didn't know where she was going.

Sakura had begun running as fast as she could, it was hard though because there were a lot of small trees, small rivers, stubs and fallen trees.

_At least I'm getting some jumping and avoiding exercise. But where the fuck am I?_

Sakura stopped and looked around. She saw a small river and decided to follow it, the river would eventually lead her to some bigger lake which she probably would know.

It didn't take long for Sakura to reach another clearing. She sighed and sat onto the ground. There was no point in screaming because no one would probably hear her. She was shivering and already using some chakra to keep herself warm. She started to feel like a 5-year old small girl who's afraid of the forest which is surrounding her.

_Why haven't I seen this place before? Why is this forest so big?_ Sakura felt one tear rolling down from her cheek and she wiped it away as fast as she could. _I do not cry anymore. It would just be a small victory for Sasuke. I don't cry, big girls don't cry! _

"Are you alright?" a voice asked from somewhere behind her.

"What?" Sakura turned around just to see a friendly face.

"Sakura? You alright?" he asked again.

"Oh, it's you, Sky. I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm only lost. I can't find the way back to the running track and—"

"Come on get up, I'll take you there." he smiled and reached his hand to her but she got up without his help.

"Thanks, I'll owe you one after this." she said quietly.

"Is this fate? First, I help you, then you help me and now I'm helping you." Sky laughed as he walked away from the clearing.

"There's no such thing as fate, and where the hell are we going? You sure this is the right way?" Sakura asked, she started to have a bad feeling. She had been alone in the woods and now some stranger offers to 'help' her.

"Yes, I'm sure. Trust me." he laughed and smiled again to her.

"Why would I trust you? I don't even know you." she muttered.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to rape you and there are no buddies of mine in this forest waiting that they could kill you or have a gang bang. I promise." Sky said and stopped.

"Why are we stopping?" Sakura asked and tried to peek over his shoulder to get a better view.

"Because I want to ask something." he said and turned around.

"Ask what?"

"Would you go out with me tomorrow?"

"WHAT!" Sakura yelled.

"Would you go out with me tomorrow?" he asked again.

"Umm, I dunno, it's like that umm, well uh, I'm kind of… Well, actually I'm not but umm—"

"Just one date then and you can leave anytime you want to." he said and looked deep in her eyes.

"Fine. But just one date." she said and looked away from his brown eyes.

"Alright, you wont regret it." he smiled and continued walking.

"Lets hope so." she muttered.

"I heard that!" he laughed.

"Yes, I know, you were supposed to hear it." Sakura said and started chewing her lower lip, it would be her first date ever. She was 19, she had never dated anyone, kissed anyone and she hadn't dream of those things since that day in the training area with Sasuke. She didn't check out guys like other girls did, she didn't giggle at all like other girls did, she didn't wear skirts, she didn't use make-up and she never had her hair open. She just wanted to hide herself from the world and hope that one day she would be forgotten.

"We're here." Sky said suddenly and stopped.

"Oh, thank you very much."

"Where do you live?" he asked turning around.

"Hey! That's none of your business!" she said angrily.

"I just want to get you tomorrow at seven o'clock."

"Fine, I live in the big blue house near at the hot springs, you can't miss the house. It's way too blue to miss it." Sakura sighed.

"Alright. See you tomorrow." Sky said and flashed another smile to her.

"Yeah, yeah… Whatever, bye!" Sakura said and ran to her house as fast as she could.

* * *

Sakura woke up pretty early at the next day. Her morning was usual, she took a shower, got dressed in blue sweatpants and in white tank top. She put a black kind of a glove to her hand except it wasn't around her fingers and reached to her elbow. 

She quickly plaited her hair to two braids, washed her face and brushed her teeth. She quickly ate a sandwich and then phoned to Ino.

"Hi, Ino, it's Sakura. Yes, I now it's early, no it's not an emergency. … Yes… Yes… I'm calling because I'm having a date today and I don't know what to wear… … No skirts… No glitter… No make-up… That's why I'm calling you, I don't know! Alright, I'll be there in 10 minutes." Sakura sighed and started regretting that she had accepted. It would be her very first date and it started to scare the shit out of her.

She got out of her house and walked to Ino's house and started preparing herself to move away if Ino was going to come and hug her so that they both would be falling. But for Sakura's surprise Ino was already sitting on her porch.

"Sakura! Hi!" Ino smiled sweetly and got up.

"Hi, Ino." Sakura faked a smile and hugged her. She wasn't a happy person and she hated faking smiles but it would be harder to smile a real smile, it would need happiness to create a real smile and Sakura wasn't happy often.

"Alright, lets go shopping." Ino said happily.

"Alright."

* * *

Ino and Sakura had found one pair of blue jeans for Sakura and a black tank top which had a text: _Bite me! _ Ino had thought that it was perfect for Sakura and Ino had made sure that Sakura bought the tank top. 

They had also bought milkshakes and now they were just strolling down the streets of Konoha. They both had a bunch of bags full of clothes and ninja equipments like kuanis, shurikens and senbon needles.

"Hey look!" Ino said and pointed at a café.

"Look what?" Sakura asked.

"Sasuke's in there with his girlfriend, I heard she's terrified of Sasuke?" Ino laughed.

"Good for him, too bad for her." Sakura said and Ino started laughing.

"I heard she's not a ninja but very beautiful." Ino sighed.

"Oh, how the hell Sasuke got her?" Sakura asked.

"The hell, Sasuke's hot nowadays, but I don't want him." Ino said and looked at Sakura. Sakura was clearly planning something.

"What?" Ino asked.

"Hey, hold these bags and this milkshake for a while, 'kay?" Sakura asked giving her stuff to Ino.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Ino asked as Sakura went into the café.

Sakura bought one huge ice water in paper mug and went stand behind Sasuke.

"Hi, I'm Sakura." she said to Sasuke's girlfriend.

"Oh hi, I'm Kia." she said, she was beautiful as Ino had told to Sakura. Red hair, green eyes, she was tall and thin just perfect. Sasuke turned around to see what the fuck Sakura was doing.

"Oh hi Sasuke, I just read from some crappy paper that cold showers helps guys' impotence problems, so I thought of you and I think that I should give it a try", Sakura said almost too happily and she poured the whole ice water of the paper mug to Sasuke's head and continued talking, "but then I did a small research of my own and I'm not so sure about that it helps after all. Oh, and nice meeting you Kia." Sakura just walked away from the café and she knew that Sasuke would follow her in a second or two. He would be pissed off.

"Sakura!" Sasuke yelled angrily.

"What? You're gonna kill me here when here are eyewitnesses? Or you're just gonna assault me? In front of all these people? I don't think so Sasuke. You wouldn't have the balls to do that, now would you?" Sakura said and went back to Ino who was shocked of Sakura's behaviour.

Sakura watched as Sasuke walked back into the café like he had just lost a battle. Ino looked at Sakura and smiled.

"You are magnificent! Do it again someday!" Ino laughed and they continued their walk.

* * *

Kakashi had been in a meeting where the Hokage told about the fact that there are enemy ninja spies in Konoha and they needed to be captured. Kakashi had been told to stay at the meeting room. 

"It's about Sakura." Kakashi guessed.

"Yes." Tsunade said quietly.

"Tell me."

"A couple of months ago I put the staff of the hospital to meet a shrink, I did it because I was worried about Sakura. You know she would have gone ballistic if I had just told her to meet a shrink. So, I put a bit of this liquid in her drink before she had the meeting with the shrink so that she would tell him more than she would usually." Tsunade explained.

"And?" Kakashi almost knew what the Hokage was going to say, Sakura wasn't alright.

Tsunade took a paper and started looking at it with worried eyes: "I'll read the main points of this report, otherwise we would be here still tomorrow, Haruno Sakura has been cutting her wrists from the age of fourteen, her hand was full of deep cuts all the way to her shoulders and she's cutting her thighs also. She's having sleeping problems and she hasn't slept in two years. She's having a serious depression which started when her parents were murdered, she was 14 at that time. Sometimes she cries so hard that it gets hard to breathe. She says that she feels alone, that she has no friends. She also talked about the house where she's living and I came the conclusion that it would be healthy to get her out of the house. I examined her and she needs strong antidepressants and strong sleeping pills."

Kakashi was silent, he remembered how he had been always gone when she was 14 years old and how Naruto and Sasuke were gone too. But he also remembered how Sakura had gotten a bit more quiet than usual at that time and how the happiness inside of her had just faded away. Kakashi started blaming himself of her condition.

"How could all of this happen just under our eyes? I thought that she was happy at the age of 14…" Tsunade asked suddenly.

"She kept it as a secret. She hid it from everyone, how could've we known? You shouldn't blame yourself, even Ino doesn't know about it. But what are you going to do about it?" Kakashi sighed he realized how clueless he had been all this time.

"I think that there's no choice but to get her eating antidepressants and sleeping pills. And I'll find her another apartment." Tsunade sighed and sat onto a chair.

"Will I continue the mission?"

"Yes. Just, be her friend and she'll eventually open up to you."

* * *

Sakura was washing her hands for the fourth time, she could feel the blood on her hands. She remembered how the house smelt when she came home at that night. Most of all, she remembered like it was yesterday and it haunted her. 

She sighed and looked at her face from the mirror, it was clean but she was sure that she had blood on her face so she washed her face for the third time.

She missed her parents and the secure and comfort they gave her. But the only thing she had was the memory of the house covered in blood, her hands covered in blood after desperately trying to save them. She remembered how she wiped her face with her hand and how the blood came to her face. And she remembered how it felt to find her mother's heart from the sink. Since then she had acted that everything was ok in her life, she smiled and laughed a bit after the death of her parents but Sasuke's words just had triggered something inside of Sakura and that was it when it all came crushing down.

The doorbell's ringing startled Sakura from her thoughts about the past. She sighed again and went to open the door. It was Sky and his smile.

"Hi. You found the house." Sakura said quietly.

"Like you said, big and blue. It would've been hard to miss. Well, shall we go then?" he asked flashing another smile for her.

"Alright, lets go." Sakura couldn't help but smile, he had the effect on her. Sakura came out of the house and locked the door.

"Where are we going?" Sakura asked suddenly as she was walking next to Sky.

"I was thinking of a café. Is that ok with you?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"Yep, sounds great." Sakura said and went a little bit closer to him, there was no point in walking 10 metres away from him.

"Sakura."

"Yes?"

"Are you a ninja?

"Yes, you?" she asked, thinking that this was getting interesting.

"Yes, but I'm new in the Village." Sky laughed.

"So where are you from?" she asked hoping that she wasn't asking too many questions.

"The Hidden Village of Grass." he said plainly.

Soon they were in the café, talking about their lives, pasts and dreams. Sakura noticed that he was glad to talk with her, he was always happy and it somehow made her happy too.

The rest of their night went by talking and drinking coffee. He listened what she got to say and she listened to him. Most of all, Sky made Sakura laugh and she started to feel something towards him.

"I'd better go." she said suddenly as she saw what time it was, 10 pm.

"I'll walk you." he offered and paid their coffees and muffins.

"Alright." she said smiling but regretting it immediately afterwards, she realized that she was letting her guard down for him. She never did that for a guy, she didn't want to be anyone's and get hurt in the end. But for her dismay she had already accepted his offer.

"I'll never eat muffins again." Sky laughed as they went outside.

"Me neither." Sakura said and started counting all the muffins that she had eaten, the outcome was 4 and a half. Sky had eaten 5 and a half.

"But they were good!" Sky said smiling and took Sakura's hand into his. It made Sakura feel a bit weird for a moment, it was the first time she was holding hands with some guy. She gathered her courage and gave a little squeeze and smiled.

"Yeah, they were. I think that I may have to eat another one someday." Sakura said.

"Oh, yeah. What the hell do they put in those muffins? I want to do as goods muffins as I can get from the café."

"Me too but then I would eat nothing but muffins and that wouldn't be healthy so part of me is glad that I cant make as goods muffins." Sakura explained.

Sakura could already see the roof of her house. She was sad that the date was about to end but happy that she could finally go to bed.

"Had fun?" Sky asked as they stopped in front of her house.

"Yeah."

"Want to have another date someday?" he asked quietly and leaned a bit towards her.

"Yes, but I better go now, I have training tomorrow." she said and went as fast as she could into the house, she had had no intention of kissing him right there.

* * *

Alright, this is the 4th chapter of this story… I'm so jätteonnellinen! And yes this is a KAKASAKU fan fic but I have to start their relationship with friendship and Sakura needs to live her life too so no flamers as Sky dates her for a little time. **REVIEWS PLEASE! **-danax 


	5. Revelations from the past

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. **

Thank you for the reviews! You guys are the best! HELL YEAH! Alright, start reading the chapter.

* * *

Kakashi was unsure what he was doing, he felt bad for pumping information of Sakura for Tsunade but he kept repeating that it was for Sakura's sake. He had also noticed that he wasn't so sure anymore what she was to him, a sister, a friend or a student. She had been all those to him and she still was but why couldn't he just deal the fact that she was dating someone?

Kakashi looked at Sakura, she was already exhausted, they had been training for 3 hours now.

"I need a break." she notified and collapsed onto the ground.

"You wont have breaks during the Jounin exam." Kakashi said sternly.

"Well, that's too bad! Can't you see that I'm not ready yet to even think about the exam! And I need a break!" she said angrily.

"You are ready, trust me, we just need to improve your Jutsus and stamina but everything else is perfect."

"Nothing is perfect! I'm not ready Kakashi! You hear me? I'M NOT READY!" she yelled. Kakashi just sighed and went to sit onto the ground against a tree.

Sakura watched him as he took the orange book from his pocket and began reading it.

"Thank you." she said quickly.

"What?" he asked lifting his gaze from the book.

"Thank you for saving me the other day and for believing in me but I honestly think that I'm not ready yet."

"No prob. You are ready."

"No I'm not. Maybe in a year or two but not now. How can I possible be ready when I can't fight against you for 3 pathetic hours?" she asked.

"Because, there will be much easier fights, it'll be like your Chuunin exam except the whole exam is just fighting another Chuunins. There's no way that you would lose."

"Then why you keep pushing me?"

"Because." he said matter-of-factly and left it to that.

"Because? That's your answer?"

"Yes."

"And you're not telling me why?"

"I just told you, because." Kakashi said and once again began reading his book.

"When the exam is?" she asked hoping that it wouldn't be anytime soon, she still felt like she needed to train a lot.

"In 3 weeks."

"3 WEEKS! KAKASHI! Oh my god! We don't have anytime for breaks, get your lazy ass up from the grass and lets fight! Come on! Come on!" she yelled and was standing on her feet in no time.

"I thought you wanted a break…" Kakashi said lazily.

"Well, not anymore! Kakashi-sensei! Please, lets just train!" Sakura begged.

"Nope, I have no time for it now. I'm already late, but I've found a taijutsu teacher for you." Kakashi said and put his book back into his pocket.

"Who?"

"Lee." Kakashi said and got up.

"What? I want you!" she yelled, he was certainly pissing her off. "Uh, well, I mean. I want you to train me." she said after realizing how her first sentence sounded.

"I will train you more tomorrow and the day after that and so on. But for today, you got Lee." Kakashi notified.

"What's so important that you can't train me?"

"Getting drunk." Kakashi laughed and vanished with a 'poof'.

_Getting drunk? GETTING DRUNK! Oh, I'm gonna kill him… Just great, he didn't even tell me where I am to meet Lee or anything… Getting drunk. Hah! It's not even 6 pm, and he's gonna get drunk! Hah!_

"Sakura-san!" Sakura heard Lee's distant voice.

"Oh well…" Sakura sighed.

* * *

Kakashi was standing behind Sasuke's door. He wanted to know Sasuke's side of everything. He wanted to know what Sasuke said to Sakura at that day and what happened after the day, he wanted to know why Sakura hated Sasuke as much as it was possible and why Sasuke hated her.

Kakashi knocked on Sasuke's door and waited patiently for Sasuke to come and open the door. Kakashi heard quiet steps coming closer to the door. Sasuke opened the door.

"Good morning Sasuke." Kakashi grinned as he saw Sasuke's messy hair and clothing, Sasuke was wearing only boxers.

"Hn. We weren't supposed to have any training today." Sasuke said and scratched the back of his head.

"No, there's no training today."

"So, why are you here?" Sasuke asked.

"We need to talk, about Sakura." Kakashi said and walked into the apartment. It was messy and all the furniture was simple, white and somewhat modern.

"What about her?" Sasuke asked, Kakashi could hear that Sasuke wasn't keen on talking about Sakura.

"What did you say to her, two years ago? What did you do that she hates you so much?" Kakashi asked turning around to face Sasuke.

"I just told her the truth." Sasuke said.

"And the truth was?"

"That she was pitied, she cannot become Jounin or as good as me or Naruto." Sasuke smirked.

"So you think that she can't make it as a ninja? She was pitied? What the fuck was that about?"

"Hey come on! She was an orphan, having two senseis at the same time and she was still so naïve!"

"What happened then? After you talked?" Kakashi asked, he wasn't so sure that he even wanted to hear the rest of it.

"I'm not obligated to tell you." Sasuke's smirk just grew wider.

"What. Happened. After?" Kakashi asked again.

"Ask from Sakura, I think she remembers it quite well." Sasuke laughed.

"I'm asking from you, Sasuke, what the fuck happened after you talked?" Kakashi asked but Sasuke just kept laughing.

"I see two choices, the first is that you tell me now and the second is that you will tell me and the Hokage." Kakashi said. He had a bad feeling, Sakura didn't get easily down if someone said bad things about her to her face. To get Sakura down, Sasuke would have needed actions.

Sasuke sighed, he new he had no choice, he had to tell: "I tried to take her and Neji caught us and I got momentarily distracted and at that time she had run away."

"You tried to rape her?" Kakashi asked. _This is unbelievable. Just unbelievable…_

Sasuke didn't answer. Kakashi sighed and took a few steps closer to Sasuke and before Sasuke knew it, Kakashi punched him, breaking a few Sasuke's bones.

* * *

Sakura walked towards her home, she was beaten and she had learned so much from Lee. She felt that things in her life were starting to look up. She had gotten the hang of taijutsu, she had a few great jutsus, her stamina was improving, her speed was good and her studies under Tsunade were almost over.

"SAKURA!" Sakura heard someone yelling at her name. She turned around to see who was it and got almost knocked over by Ino.

"Ino! Stop hugging me! I can't breathe!" Sakura said between gasps as Ino was crushing Sakura.

"Oh my God, you'll never believe what just happened!" Ino took Sakura's hands and started jumping.

"What? What?" Sakura asked wondering what could be so exciting.

"Sky! He just bought a rose and he's coming to see you!" Ino squealed.

"Oh. Sky? Alright." Sakura said and felt so many emotions at the same time that she wasn't sure what she was feeling at all.

"Oh yeah, you can tell me all about your hot date when I come to see you. Alright?" Ino stopped jumping and released Sakura's hands.

"Well, yeah, it wasn't a_ hot date_ but it was nice. And where are you going?" Sakura asked.

"The Hokage wanted to see me for some reason, she said it was something serious. Oh, well. We'll talk later."

"Yeah, yeah. Come by anytime you want to. See ya!" Sakura said as Ino ran away.

"Oh man… A rose? Oh well… It's called life… Sigh… I don't want a rose." Sakura muttered to herself and walked home as fast as she could.

* * *

Sakura washed her face, hands and a few times more her face. She was getting almost neurotic when it came to washing her face or hands. She opened her hair and her wet fingers slid through her pink hair. She heard the doorbell rang and went downstairs.

In a quick movement Sakura opened the door and was Sky greeted her with his famous smile.

"Hi." Sakura said and felt a bit weird, she came to her porch closing the door behind her.

"Well, hi. Now, close your eyes, I've got something for you." he said and she obeyed. Sakura felt something silky caressing her cheeks, lips, nose and forehead.

"Try to guess what this is." Sky said quietly.

Sakura was silent for a moment, she could smell that it was a rose. "It's a rose." she said without opening her eyes.

"Yes, but what colour?" he asked still caressing her skin with the rose.

"Um. Red, perhaps?" Sakura answered.

"No, it's a white rose. They say that the message behind a white rose is _you are heavenly_." Sky said and Sakura opened her eyes.

"It is?" she asked, she had had no idea.

"But a white rosebud means you're too young to love." Sky said and gave the rose to her.

"How do you know so much about roses?" she asked lifting her gaze from the rose to his face.

"It's not much, but I used to secretly read my mother's flower magazine and there were frequently these articles about roses." he smiled and took a step towards her.

"Hmm, interesting. Do you want to come inside?" she asked taking a step backwards, their distance or lack of it started to make Sakura feel unsure.

"I'd love to but I have to go to meet a couple of friends and I don't wanna be late." he said smiling and took another step towards her.

"Some other time then? Perhaps?" she asked, realizing that her back had just hit the door, she was trapped.

"Yeah, how 'bout tomorrow?"

"Ok, but I have training. But later in the evening maybe." she said and was getting terrified, he was so close to her, she could smell his deodorant and feel the warmth radiating from his body.

"Maybe."

His nose was almost touching hers. She knew her first kiss would happen someday but she didn't feel safe around Sky and she didn't want to feel trapped when her first kiss would happen. As Sky was just about to kiss her, Sakura turned her head so that Sky's lips met Sakura's cheek.

"Uh, um. I gotta go. Ino's coming and there is some cleaning up I should do before she comes and uh. Um. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then." he muttered to her ear making her shiver.

"A-alright."

* * *

Sakura heard the door being opened and she felt Ino's presence. Sakura was just cooking some fish.

"Hi, Ino!" Sakura yelled to her friend from her kitchen.

"Hi, Sakura." Ino said, she sounded a bit sad. Suddenly Sakura was embraced by Ino.

"Ino? Are you alright?" Sakura asked and started to worry about Ino.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But I'm such a horrible friend!" Ino bawled to Sakura's shoulder.

"No, you're not a horrible friend!" Sakura said a bit angrily.

"I am! I never knew! And I should have known! I'm supposed to be your friend!"

"Hey! Calm down! It's alright." Sakura tried to comfort her friend even though she had no idea what was Ino talking about. Ino released Sakura from the embrace and looked at her.

"Are you sure? Can we have like a sleepover tonight at my house? Please?" Ino asked still looking at Sakura with her sad eyes.

"Um, ok." Sakura said.

"Alright!" Ino chirped, her mood had changed fast.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, a bit." Ino answered and wiped her cheeks.

"Ok, I was just making some dinner." Sakura said and went back to cooking.

"So Sky was here?" Ino asked.

"Yeah." Sakura said and looked at the small vase where the rose was.

"So, tell me all about your not so hot date with him." Ino laughed and sat onto a kitchen chair, she was ready to hear all the not so dirty little details.

* * *

Sorry for the late update but school is a bit hectic right now. Luckily I have only something like 20 days school left before summer vacations so I can write like hell at summer. Anyways, tell me your opinion 'bout the chapter and help me be a better writer, translation: **REVIEWS PLEASE!** -danax 


	6. Butterfly

**Disclaimer: En omista mitään. **

I put the disclaimer in Finnish 'cause I grew bored in writing I own nothing, maybe I'll write next one in Russian or Swedish… GYAA! Anyways thank you so much for the reviews! I'm not pushing you to review more but I'd be so cool to get 20 reviews from this chapter. (Hint!Hint!Hint!)

Oh, and I listened to _In Joy and Sorrow _**by**_ HIM _

_The end of this chapter _**by**_ Sonata Arctica_

_First love (piano version) _**by** _Utada Hikaru_ while writing this chapter.

_songs, thoughts, dreams_

_**Inner Sakura**_

"talking"

_Tomara nai mune no itami koete  
Motto kimi ni chikazuki tai yo  
Hito mawari shite wa modori  
Aoi sora wo zutto te saguri_

_The endless pain of my heart, I'm getting over it  
and I want to be closer to you  
Going one round and coming back  
I feel my way in blue sky all the time_

(Sakura Doroppusu / Cherry blossom drops _by_ Utada Hikaru)

* * *

"Sakura, are you sure you're alright?" Ino asked for the 19th time. Sakura and Ino were at Ino's apartment, Ino had been living alone for years now.

"Ino! I'm fine. Why do you keep asking?" Sakura asked, they were laying on the floor in Ino's bedroom and looking at the ceiling.

"Well, I just thought…" Ino muttered and looked at her friend. Ino saw Sakura's sad eyes and pale face, she was sure that everything that Tsunade had said was true. Sakura was depressed and Ino almost blew her cover earlier the day; Sakura should hear about her medical condition from Tsunade not accidentally from Ino.

"So, how things are going between you and Shikamaru?" Sakura asked turning her head to face Ino.

"He went to this mission which is supposed to last for a year so I suppose that things aren't going that well." Ino sighed.

"Hmm. Naruto went to that mission too. I wonder what the mission is about." Sakura muttered to herself.

"Naruto didn't tell you?" Ino asked and pushed herself from the floor to sitting position.

"Hm? Tell what?"

"They're hunting the Akatsuki down." Ino notified.

"THEY'RE DOING WHAT!" Sakura yelled and got up in a fast way from the floor.

"Maybe Naruto didn't tell you cuz he didn't want you to worry 'bout him…?" Ino sighed.

"Why did he accept the mission? Why the hell Naruto had to go to the most dangerous mission he could think of? Why the hell?" Sakura asked and sat down on Ino's bed.

"He just wants it to be over. The Akatsuki has terrorized every country and Naruto just got bored with it. He wants to help." Ino said and looked at Sakura, she was worrying about Naruto.

"Who else went to the mission except Shikamaru and Naruto?" Sakura asked quietly.

"I don't remember everyone of them but Neji, Kiba, Tenten, Shino, Kurenai, Genma and and um, uh, who was it… Um… Shizune." Ino explained.

"So, the Village will be half empty. Everyone is at some kind of mission." Sakura sighed.

"Yeah… Hinata is somewhere training, Chouji is somewhere with his dad, Asuma is at mission, Jiraya is somewhere writing his damn books and mom is somewhere."

"You do realize that you don't know where the fuck anyone is?" Sakura asked looking at Ino.

"Yep, I have no idea where everyone is." Ino laughed.

"I wanna go to sleep." Sakura yawned.

"What? It's only half past 11 pm. You can't be tired now!" Ino yelled from the floor.

"Well, I am! I spent 5 hours today practising my taijutsu with Lee and before that taijutsu with Kakashi!"

"Fine, but if I can't sleep, I'll wake you up." Ino laughed.

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would!" Ino laughed.

"Um, can we put the radio on for the night?" Sakura asked quickly.

"Yeah… I guess so… Why?"

"It helps me to fall asleep." Sakura said.

* * *

_Sakura walked happily towards her home. She had just been training the whole day and she was more than happy to go home and sleep although it wasn't her normal bedtime, a bit early for a bedtime. _

_She noticed that all the lights in her house were turned off which was pretty weird, she knew that her mom and dad were at home and they wouldn't be sleeping this early. _

_She had reached the porch and quietly she opened the door. _

"_I'M HOME!" Sakura yelled happily but she didn't receive any answer. _

"_Weird." she muttered to herself._

_Sakura went to the kitchen and was about to start drinking something as she saw some thing in the sink. She touched it carefully, it was a bit warm, wet and oddly shaped thing. Sakura turned one light on with her other hand as she was touching the odd thing with her other hand._

_As the light went on she realized that she was touching an organ, she was touching a heart. _

"_MOM! DAD!" Sakura screamed to the house. She took the heart carefully to her hands and ran through the whole house in order to find her parents._

_Sakura's senses were screaming her to go faster as she looked from the rooms. She feared for the worst that she would find them dead. Suddenly she stopped behind a door, it was closed and it was the last room in her home. _

_Tears were falling down on her cheeks as she opened the door, she knew already that they were dead but refused to believe it. There they were, her mother on the floor, her stomach cut and Sakura saw clearly that someone had taken organs from her mother. Then Sakura's eyes fell on her dad, he was on his back on the bed, well, part of him was. His head was on the floor. _

_Sakura ran fast to her mother and put the heart in to the body and started healing her. She was too late and she knew it. She couldn't heal a dead person but she kept trying and trying hoping that she would have even a small chance to revive her mother. _

_Soon Sakura's hands were on blood and she was sweating. She wiped her forehead and cheeks with her hands and quit the healing. She was too late, they were dead and she needed to talk to someone. The first person she could think of was Kakashi. _

_Sakura walked to the phone feeling that she would faint pretty soon. Quickly she dialled Kakashi's number and waited. _

"_Kakashi here." Sakura heard Kakashi's voice._

"_Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura cried to the phone._

"_Sakura? Take it easy! Tell me what happened." Kakashi said._

"_Kakashi!" Sakura just kept crying his name.

* * *

_

Sakura woke up breathing heavily. She touched her cheek and realized that it was wet, she had been crying in her sleep, she hated when that happened.

She got up from the mattress and went to bathroom to wash her face, she could almost smell the blood that had been on her face 5 years ago. It felt like the blood stayed on her face, whatever she did, the blood just was always there.

She came out of the bathroom and looked at the clock, it was half past 5 am. Sakura quickly got dressed and wrote a note where she said that she had gone outside to clear her head and didn't know when she was going to be back.

Sakura took a deep breath and looked at the sky which was almost clear. _It was 5 years ago, why do I keep dreaming 'bout it? ... I miss 'em_, Sakura thought and began to walk aimlessly.

Sighing every now and then she kept thinking about her dream, it had been exactly the same as the day she actually found her parents dead. She wondered why she phoned to Kakashi, why he was the first person which popped into her mind when she was in trouble or was it just because she felt safe around him.

Suddenly Sakura realized that she had reached the old team 7 meeting place, the red bridge. Sakura sighed and sat on the parapet of the bridge.

She felt like she had lost the control of her life, she wasn't supposed to date guys or be weak and cry. She was supposed to train hard, be a good ninja and a good friend. But she couldn't help that she cried a lot, the tears came even though she did her best to resist the tears.

She resisted guys as much as she could, she hated how they didn't respect women and how they just thought that they could get anything they wanted. She wanted to not be loved and she didn't want to love. She didn't want a broken heart and she didn't want to broke anyone's, the easiest way to avoid those was refuse love in every way she knew. But the question was that how Sky had gotten past her defence system, why he was interesting. It felt like she was walking on weak ice and she loved the feeling. He was somehow dangerous, that was for sure.

_Maybe I just want a dangerous life_, she thought smiling and got off from the parapet of the bridge but stayed there leaning to the parapet.

Sakura saw someone walking towards her but it was too far away to see how it was. _Probably not anyone who I know_, Sakura thought but changed her mind immediately after noticing that the person was tall as hell and had grey hair.

"Yo." Kakashi said as he was standing right in front of her.

"Hi."

"Tell me, what are you doing here? We have training today and you should be sleeping and getting some energy."

"I couldn't sleep." Sakura said and was glad that she didn't have to lie.

"Why?"

"I had a nightmare." she said and hoped that he wouldn't ask anything about the dream, Sakura wasn't a person who shared things with someone.

They were on the bridge for some time, Sakura didn't know how long but she didn't care. The silent understanding was comforting, it had always been. She remembered how she used to just sit next to him as he was reading his dirty novels and everything felt so simple. She had always felt safe and so secure around Kakashi.

"Kakashi-sensei… Tell me one thing." Sakura said breaking the silence between them.

"What?" he asked and turned his head to see her.

"How do you know the difference between dream and reality?" she asked looking at the sky.

"What do you mean?"

"Well for example this butterfly here", Sakura said and lifted her index finger so that he could see the blue butterfly, "this is a simple Genjutsu, it makes me feel the butterfly and see it and hear its wings flapping. How do I know that it's just a Genjutsu and nothing more?"

"First of all, the Genjutsu isn't simple, you make everyone who sees your finger fall to the Genjutsu including yourself. And you just have to know that it isn't real." Kakashi said looking at the butterfly.

"What if I have spent years believing in this butterfly, how do I tell myself that it isn't real? If I have believed in something for long time and what if I've built a dream world where I live in and what if I have spent years believing that the world and everything around me is real. How do I get from the dream world back to reality?" she asked and the butterfly vanished.

"I don't know." Kakashi said honestly.

"Ok, then." she sighed.

"But I do know something." he said after a few silent seconds.

"Huh?"

"I'll help you get from that dream world in every way that I can." Kakashi grinned.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me." Sakura smiled.

* * *

"Where were you?" Ino asked as Sakura came back to the apartment, Ino was sitting on her kitchen counter.

"Oh, you're awake… I was just outside clearing my head." Sakura said and went to sit next to Ino.

"I woke up half an hour ago. And there's something I want to ask you." Ino said quietly.

"Alright, what is it?"

"You know that I hate living alone and that I have one extra room here. And I have been thinking that you should move here too." Ino said looking straight into Sakura's jade eyes.

"But, I—"

"—You have told me so many times that you hate your house and you wish to sell the house, here's your chance, take it." Ino interrupted Sakura.

"I know, but it was my parents' house, I can't just sell it." Sakura said and looked at the floor.

"Your mom and dad would've approved it. And just if you can't do it for yourself, do it for me. Come to live with me because I'm not good at being all alone here." Ino said and took Sakura's hand to hers.

Sakura was silent for a moment, thinking that should she just sell the house. She wanted to sell it and live with Ino.

"Alright, I'll sell the house." Sakura said so quietly that Ino wasn't sure that Sakura had actually agreed.

"What?" Ino whispered.

"I said I'll sell the house." Sakura said a bit louder. Ino squeaked and hugged Sakura.

"When will you start packing up your things?" Ino asked.

"Today maybe. First I have training but after it I'll put up an add where I say that I'll sell the house and then I'll pack up some of my things and then I have a date and then I come here, alright?"

"So, do you have not-so-hot-date or are you planning to have a hot date?" Ino laughed.

"I honestly don't know." Sakura sighed.

* * *

Sakura was breathing heavily, attacking, blocking and trying to find some opening in Kakashi's defence. She had been able to land a few kicks to Kakashi and a couple of punches but she still felt like she wasn't good enough.

"Impressive, you have improved since the training with Lee." Kakashi said and he wasn't even breathing heavily as he was blocking her punches.

"Uh, he… Just… Showed… Me… A few… Things and tricks…" Sakura said between her kicks.

"Clearly pretty good tricks and things." Kakashi laughed and blocked Sakura's punch so that she was pinned to a tree before she knew it.

"Ok, you win. Let go of me." Sakura gasped and Kakashi released his grip on her.

"I gotta go now, I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked looking at him.

"Yeah, tomorrow here at eight am, don't be late." Kakashi said.

"Why? Are you thinking of being early?" Sakura couldn't help but laugh, the thought of Kakashi being early was just too hilarious.

"Maybe."

"Oh man… People _do_ change... Ok, bye!" Sakura laughed and vanished with a 'poof' of yellow rose petals.

* * *

Ino was already waiting for Sakura at Sakura's porch, Ino was supposed to help Sakura to start packing her things.

"Ready?" Ino asked as soon as she saw Sakura walking towards the porch.

"As ready as I can ever be." Sakura said and they went in.

"Damn, this house is full of empty cardboard boxes! Ok, where do I start?" Ino laughed.

"You can start from the kitchen and I'll do a few Kage Bunshins and I'll start from the attic." Sakura said and began to walk to upstairs.

"You know that's creepy! There may be ghosts, rats or maybe evil spirits there! You could always just put your Kage Bunshins to work in the attic!" Ino laughed.

"No way and besides you have watched too many horror movies!" Sakura yelled.

"Yeah, I know." Ino muttered to herself.

The packing went quite fast, the combination of 20 Sakuras and one Ino was effective. So the packing went great but then Sakura and Ino realized that they would have to drag the stuff to Ino's apartment and it wouldn't be so fast because there were a lot of boxes and most of them would need some store or something.

"I'm beaten." Sakura said as she was laying on the floor next to Ino.

"Me too." Ino sighed.

"What time is it?" Sakura asked suddenly remembering her date.

"Um, half past seven." Ino said and Sakura got up from the floor as fast as she could.

"What?" Ino asked.

"The date, I have to take a shower! If Sky comes, stall him, alright?" Sakura said and ran to the bathroom.

"Silly girl. You don't even have clean clothes to wear. They're all in boxes… Maybe I should find some clothes for you…" Ino laughed quietly.

"INO!" Sakura yelled.

"WHAAAAAT?"

"CAN YOU PLESE GET SOME CLOTHES FOR ME? THANK YOU!"

After Sakura's shower, Ino dried her hair and plated it in two French braids. Sakura's clothes were the usual, low waist black pants and a black tank top and the net glove which she was using all the time.

"You look magnificent." Ino said.

"Nah.. I don't, you just think so." Sakura notified.

"No, I'm pretty sure that you look magnificent." Ino laughed.

"Haha. Yeah right. Lets go downstairs." Sakura said and began to drag Ino with her. As soon as they had reached the final stair the doorbell rang.

"Oooh, I think I know who that is…" Ino giggled.

"Yep, me too. Well, see ya. I'll come to the apartment later with a few boxes, 'kay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Ino laughed.

"Ok, bye!" Sakura said and went outside.

First she didn't see anyone there but realized that Sky was standing right next to the door, behind her. He moved fast behind her and took her hands and leaned a bit forward so that his left cheek was touching her right.

"Hi." Sakura said smiling.

"Hello. Where do you wanna go? Feel like eating muffins?" he laughed.

"I know, lets go to the movies and then eat a muffin, or two!"

"Alright."

* * *

… Reviews are more than welcome, tell me your adults' honest (adults' honest means honest honest honest) opinion, or ask a question or tell me what do you want to happen, I'll be sure to answer. I don't know about next chapter because we have test week in school in 2 weeks and I have to study like hell. But I will most likely update in week 21 or 22. -danax 


	7. Dark secret

**Disclaimer: U menja net nichevo. ("I own nothing" in Russian)**

Just for the record, in this chapter I am going to skip a few weeks and after this chapter (in my opinion) the real story actually starts… Or something… Ok, read and review… Pwetty-pwease!

Oh, and I have to thank you for the amazing ideas 'bout Sky but I have to say that I already have a plan for him.

_Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign.  
Instead there is only silence,  
can't you hear my screams?  
Never stop hoping,  
Need to know where you are,  
but one thing is for sure,  
you're always in my heart._

(_Somewhere _by _Within Temptation_)

* * *

Sakura and Sky were standing in front of the apartment house where Ino and Sakura lived. Sky's and Sakura's date had been fun as always, they had gone to movies and saw some old movie and after that they had eaten just a few muffins. 

"Close your eyes." Sky said suddenly. Not knowing what she should do or what she even wanted to do, Sakura closed her eyes.

"Now, tell me… Why do you fear men so much?" he asked and put his hands on her shoulders.

"I don't. It's just that—" Sakura's sentence was cut by a kiss. Automatically her eyes closed and she put her hands to the nape of his neck. The next thing she realized was that he was licking her lower lip, remembering all the things Ino had talked about kissing and guys, Sakura opened her mouth.

Sakura felt like her life was out of control. Everything was changing so fast and she wasn't so sure that the change was even welcome. She hated and loved her life. Hated the fact that she was addicted to pain and loved the pain. She hated the pain inside of her heart and the pain was eating her soul, making her just an empty shell. She loved the pain which she made with senbon needles, kunais and kitchen knives. If felt like Sky was ripping away all the reasons why she cut herself.

"Sky." she said quietly after he broke their kiss, her first kiss.

"Hmm?" he grinned.

"I just wanted to say that… I'm not scared of men, I just hate almost every one of 'em." Sakura notified.

"But not me?" he asked.

"But not you." she smiled and withdrew her hands from him.

"Good to hear. I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked smiling. His voice was filled with hope and something else which Sakura couldn't place.

"Yeah, maybe. It depends when I'm done my training with Kakashi-sensei. But now, it's late and I have to go. C'ya!" Sakura said and gave a quick peck to his cheek.

"Yeah, bye…" Sky said and was a bit of surprised of Sakura's actions. She usually didn't kiss him even on his cheek.

Sky began walking to the direction of his apartment. He felt someone's presence following him. Sighing he stopped his walk and waited for someone to come in front of him. He heard some rustling in a tree and in the second Sasuke was standing in front of him.

"Were you following me and Sakura again?" Sky asked, his voice was filled of frustration.

"Stop dating her." Sasuke said warningly. Sky could see Sasuke clenching his fists.

"I'm still not obligated to follow your commands and hopefully I'll never be." Sky sighed.

"Who sent you?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

"And I'm not obligated to answer your questions." Sky notified hand his right hand started to go closer to his kunai holster.

"Stop dating her." Sasuke said again and vanished right before Sky threw a kunai to him.

_Meanwhile…_

Sakura unlocked the door quietly and closed it as quietly as she could. She took her shoes off and crept to her room, hoping that Ino hadn't watched from a window Sakura's and Sky's moment together. Sakura really didn't feel like starting to describe everything to her friend.

She quickly changed her clothes to her pajamas. Sakura went in front of a mirror and opened her hair. Her hair reached under her shoulder blades. Everyone thought her pink hair was shorter because she always had her hair on some kind of braids or just her hair was just put up. She brushed her hair and went to the kitchen.

The doorbell ringed just when she was about to open the fridge. She sighed and went to open the door. As soon as Sakura realized that it was Sasuke who was behind the door, she slammed the door to Sasuke's face, for Sakura's luck, the door hit Sasuke's jaw. She walked back to the fridge and took tomatoes out of it. She put them on the kitchen counter and realized that Sasuke was standing right in front of her.

"Sakura—"

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Sakura screamed on the top of her lungs.

"Just listen—"

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU? I HATE YOU!" Sakura kept yelling. Suddenly Sakura realized that Sasuke was staring at her, just staring her with a weird expression on his face.

"What?" Sakura asked normally because she forgot to yell.

"You. You. Your. Your hair. It's… It's… Long… You—"

"Get to the point." Sakura sighed.

"You look amazing." Sasuke sighed. Something snapped in Sakura's head and she took a frying pan and threw it at Sasuke. He dodged it and the frying pan flew at the wall.

"You fucking asshole! Get the fuck out of here! Damn! You can't call me amazing when you have a girlfriend! And you have no permission to be here! Get the hell out of here!" Sakura started the yelling again.

"I'm sorry! Just listen to me!" Sasuke yelled back at her.

"What!" Sakura kept yelling.

"Stop seeing Sky." Sasuke regretted his words right after he had said it, she would be pissed of, very pissed off.

"SASUKE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!" Sakura yelled and threw a tomato at him which hit him on his cheek. Sasuke thought it was best to run away and fast so he jumped out of an open window.

"You bastard! Get back here! I'm gonna kill you!" Sakura yelled from the window.

"Oh god I hate him. IhatehimIhatehimIhatehim! I HATE HIM!" Sakura yelled to nobody.

* * *

Sakura kicked a few rock as she was walking to the training grounds, she was still pissed off. She just wanted to wrap her fingers around Sasuke's neck and send a bit of killing chakra to his veins. 

Sakura sat on the ground. She took a rock and threw it away hoping that it might hit Sasuke's face. Sakura was so pissed off that she wanted to scream 'til her voice would just vanish.

"Sakura?" Kakashi asked from somewhere above her.

"What!" Sakura screamed.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Kakashi asked and jumped from a branch above her.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm dreaming of killing Sasuke!"

"Oh. Stop dreaming. You need to train." Kakashi sighed.

"Whatever." Sakura said and got up. She glared at Kakashi for a second or two.

"What?" he asked.

"You are on time. Why?"

"Because."

"… CAN YOU BE A NORMAL PERSON AND GIVE ME A FUCKING NORMAL ANSWER, PLEASE!" Sakura yelled and she had to admit it that it felt damn good.

"It is a normal answer." Kakashi grinned.

Sakura was so pissed off that she might have started ripping the hair out of her head if there wasn't the training session with Kakashi.

"We'll start with taijutsu." Kakashi said and lifted his forehead protector in order to reveal his Sharingan.

"That's so not fair!" Sakura yelled.

"Nothing is." Kakashi smirked and took a fighting stance.

* * *

Three weeks of full-time training were gone fast. Sakura learned more and more bout taijutsu, genjutsu and she learned new jutsus from Kakashi, Tsunade and even a few from Sky. 

Her relationship with Sky was about the same, she got to know a few things about him, his past and his hopes. They didn't go further in their relationship, she didn't want sex and he didn't even ask for it.

Sakura's relationships with other people stayed almost the same except for one relationship. She started talking more to Kakashi. He listened and told odd jokes which made her laugh. Sakura started to open up to him with more personal things and for the first time in a really long time she felt like she had someone who shared her worries. She was happy for it.

Tsunade had ordered Sakura to start seeing a shrink, first Sakura didn't want to but after Tsunade had threatened her by a life long denial of entering in any Jounin exam, Sakura had to agree. The shrink had written a prescription for Sakura to start taking sleeping pills and anti-depressants.

Could sleep better with the sleeping pills and she wasn't so sad all the time because she used the anti-depressants.

Sasuke tried to talk to Sakura frequently but Sakura started throwing kunais, shurikens and senbon needles at him, which made the talking a bit hard.

* * *

Sakura knocked on a door and waited patiently. After two minutes of hearing nothing she went in front of a window and peeked in, Kakashi was there but he was concentrated reading his precious orange book. Sakura went sighing back to behind the door and knocked a little louder. Kakashi had heard the knocking because Sakura could hear his steps coming closer to the door. 

"Hi!" Sakura said happily as Kakashi opened the door.

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Kakashi asked looking suspiciously at her.

"I am here to relax my nerves and to drink a bottle of fine red wine." Sakura explained showing a bottle of red wine in her hands.

"Oh, relaxing your nerves?" Kakashi was didn't know what she meant by saying relaxing her nerves.

"Tomorrow is the Jounin exam and for the record, I'm panicking here! Can I come inside or do you already have a lady guest?" Sakura asked and tried to peek inside although she knew that there wasn't any lady guest at his house.

"Oh, yeah, come in." Kakashi said and stepped away from the doorway. Sakura stepped in and looked around, his house was very cozy.

"So do you want to drink this red wine now or later?" she asked and kept looking around. She was in a kitchen and the colours were white and dark brown. She could see a hallway and stairs. Curiosity crept inside of her and she wanted to know what the other rooms were like. She had been many times at his kitchen before but the kitchen was as new every time to her as at the first time.

"We could start drinking it now." Kakashi said and took the bottle from her and went to look wineglasses for them.

Sakura went to sit on a kitchen chair. Kakashi put two wineglasses on the table and poured some wine in them. He gave the other wineglass to her and sat on a chair too.

"Mmm. This wine is good." Sakura said after tasting a bit of it.

"Yeah. You have an excellent taste when it comes to wines." Kakashi laughed.

"So do you." Sakura smiled mysteriously.

"Sakura. The Jounin exam is gonna go just fine. Trust me in this one, ok?" he said looking sternly at her.

"Do you really think so? I'm really nervous, I'm afraid that all my opponents will be way too hard to win or something." Sakura said and put the wineglass to the table.

"The opponents will be easy. Just remember that they're all just Chuunins." Kakashi grinned.

"Ok. I'll try to keep that in my mind when my panicking gets worse." Sakura giggled.

"Did you hear that our ninjas have found almost every spy from Konoha? They are being interrogated at this very moment." Kakashi said.

"Oh, maybe this village will be a bit safer after Morino Ibiki has kicked their ass." Sakura laughed.

"Hopefully." Kakashi smiled.

"So approximately, how many is spy is still walking freely here?" Sakura asked.

"One or maybe two." Kakashi thought aloud.

"That's good. Seriously, I hope they are caught before my Jounin party." Sakura said and drank a bit of her wine.

The rest of the evening they talked, drank and laughed together. Sakura's mission to relax her nerves was success.

* * *

Kakashi woke up early at the next morning. He took a quick shower and ate a fast breakfast. He didn't want to miss Sakura's fights against the other Chuunins. Kakashi did something which he did seldom, he was on time. 

Kakashi went to the back room where all of the contestants were. He immediately spotted Sakura; she was sitting in some dark corner and chewing her lower lip.

"Sakura." Kakashi said which made her to lift her head.

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei. Hi." Sakura said nervously and continued chewing her lower lip.

"Nervous?" he asked knowing the answer already.

"Mmm."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Kakashi grinned.

"Stop grinning. My stomach is turning and doing goddamn flips." Sakura groaned.

"It'll be alright." Kakashi kept grinning because he couldn't stop it.

"That's what you keep saying but—" the rest of Sakura's sentence was silenced by a sound of a siren. It was a mark for the exam to begin. "Oh shit." Sakura said and got up from her uncomfortable chair.

"Take it easy. You're gonna kick their ass."

"I hope so." Sakura smiled weakly at him.

"I'll be in the crowd… Somewhere." Kakashi laughed as Sakura walked out of the backroom to the fighting arena.

Kakashi quickly walked to the seats which were meant for the crowd. It didn't take many seconds to find his friend Genma who was signing Kakashi to go to him.

"Yo." Kakashi said as he sat next to Genma.

"Your student's is going to fight, right? The pink haired one?" Genma asked.

"Yeah. Her name is Sakura." Kakashi said.

"Oh yeah, Sakura." Genma thought aloud.

"Don't even think about it." Kakashi said before Genma could get any thoughts. Genma just glared at Kakashi.

Kakashi had been right; Sakura kicked everyone's. Her first opponent had given up after realizing that she wasn't able to block any of Sakura's kicks and punches. Sakura's second opponent's weakness was genjutsus so Sakura took him off by with a simple sleeping genjutsu. Sakura's last opponent had been a bit harder to win, he was excellent in dodging, breaking genjutsus and his jutsus were awesome. Sakura had done a weird jutsu which Kakashi hadn't seen before, first she had done a few hand seals and then these odd strings had come out of Sakura's hands. The strings had wrapped themselves around her opponent very quickly. Sakura had moved her hands a bit and her opponent had moved too, then Sakura had almost thrown her hands to the left side and her opponent had hit a tree.

* * *

Sakura was at a bar which some ninjas had booked for the celebration after the Jounin exam. Everyone was drinking something, Ino was dancing with some stranger and Sakura was sitting alone on a barstool and cursing the fact that she would have a headache in the morning. 

"Hey! Guess who is back!" Ino asked and sat next to Sakura.

"Who?" Sakura asked.

"Hinata and she's gorgeous!" Ino laughed.

"Really? Hinata is back?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, yeah. She said that she was coming here to congratulate you." Ino notified and drank Sakura's sake.

"Hey!" Sakura laughed and poked Ino to her ribs.

"What?" Ino laughed and left Sakura sitting alone. Sakura sighed and ordered more sake. The next thing Sakura noticed that Kakashi was sitting next to her.

"Sakura. You did great job." Kakashi grinned.

"Yeah, like you said." Sakura smiled.

"It's not my business but I didn't see Sky at the crowd anywhere." Kakashi said quickly.

"Oh, he wasn't? Oh… He probably had something… To do… Which was more important… Than… Me."

"…"

"Or not." Sakura sighed.

"Hey, don't be sad. You're Jounin now." Kakashi tried to cheer her up.

"Yeah… I'm a Jounin." Sakura sighed and drank some sake.

"Ok. I'm going to see Genma, alright?" Kakashi said.

"Yeah, yeah. Leave me alone like everyone else does." Sakura sighed again and Kakashi vanished.

Sakura got off from her barstool and almost bumped into Sky. She looked at him for a moment and then tried to pass him without saying anything but he grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked.

"Where are you going?"

"I asked you first."

"I'm keeping you from leaving."

"I'm going somewhere, please let me go." Sakura said and he let her go but instead of staying still and looking at her back while she left the bar, he went with her.

"I'm sorry for that I wasn't able to come to the exam." he said as they had walked for a while.

"Why didn't you come?" Sakura asked.

"I was being interrogated. They thought I was an enemy ninja spy or something." Sky laughed.

"Well, are you?"

"No. Hey! I'm sorry alright." he said taking her hands to his.

"…Fine… Apology accepted." Sakura muttered.

"So where are you really going?" Sky asked and they continued their walk.

"Nowhere. I don't know. I can't go home 'cause Ino will probably have a one night stand or something." Sakura sighed.

"Come to my place." Sky suggested.

"I don't know. Should I?" Sakura was hesitating.

"I wont bite you." Sky laughed.

"Fine but no scratching, humping, licking, sucking or ripping clothes off." Sakura said.

"What the fuck do you think we would be doing at my place?" Sky laughed.

"I honestly don't know, that is why I made the rules."

"Alright, I agree to your rules."

* * *

Sakura was sitting on Sky's couch as he was making some tea. 

"Hey, can I have a t-shirt from you?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, go to my bedroom and there are some in the left side of the white closet." Sky said and Sakura went to his bedroom. The room was plain; there was one big bed, one closet and a desk.

Sakura took a black t-shirt from the left side of the closet but the right side of the closet opened a bit. Just as Sakura was closing the closet she saw this robe which made all the blood rush out of her face. Sakura had seen that kind of robe before. Quietly she closed the right side of the closet and took a deep breath, now she was scared. Sasuke had had same kind of robe right after he had come back to the village, Sasuke had told that the robe had belonged to Itachi, it was his Akatsuki-robe.

Sakura walked back to the kitchen and sat on a kitchen chair. She felt weak and she felt like she had to leave the apartment as soon as she was able to.

"Are you alright?" Sky asked.

"Yeah, the sake is just taking a hold of me." Sakura said and hoped that he wouldn't notice anything about her behaviour.

"That happens even to the best of us." Sky laughed and placed a cup of tea in front of her.

_Just lie that you have to get the hell out of here. Say that you are sick. No! He would insist me to stay. SAY SOMETHING!_

"Um. Sky. I think that I need to go back." Sakura said quickly.

"Huh? Why?" he asked.

"Well, if Ino had drunk enough sake… She, she'll become hysteric." Sakura lied.

"Oh, I guess you have to leave then." Sky sighed.

"Ok." Sakura said and got of the chair. She walked to the door, she quickly put her shoes back on. She gave a really quick peck to his cheek and left with a rush.

She ran the stairways and when she got outside of the apartment building Sky was in front of her. Her heart refused to beat, and her hands refused to stop shaking.

"I-I-I… have to go." Sakura breathed out but he wouldn't let her go and she knew it.

"You know too much." Sky said with sad voice.

"I know nothing. Let me go." she said and tried to pass him but he stepped right in front of her.

"You know I can't do that." Sky said and he looked really sad.

"Please. Let me go." Sakura cried.

"Don't cry, I'm not going to kill you." he smiled to her.

"I wanna go home." Sakura kept crying.

"I. wont. let. you." he said taking a fighting stance. Sakura's heart didn't beat for a few seconds and quickly she did a few hand seals and before Sky could react, he was trapped with strings which came from Sakura's hands. The strings were cut so that he was still trapped and he fell down. All the rational thoughts vanished from her head as she took a rock and hit it to his head. Sakura kept thinking that in movies the bad guys didn't stay like that more than a minute or a half.

Sakura began running as fast as she could towards Kakashi's house. He had been the first person she thought of. Once in a while she looked behind her but there was nobody, it gave her a bit of hope reaching Kakashi. While running she wasn't sure that she even breathed. When she reached the house she burst crying hopelessly and she started hitting the door.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura cried.

When Kakashi finally opened the door Sakura tried to say something but she fainted before he could understand anything.

* * *

**A/N:** My honest opinion 'bout this chapter is that this sucks. But nex one will hopefully be better. Hehe… Sorry for leaving this story like this. Now the story actually begins. Ok, next chapter will be posted before the 4th of June. And I need to go to sleep, it's midnight. **Reviews please!** -danax 


	8. Cuts

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

I'm shocked; you actually liked the last chapter. Oh wow. Oh, well. Here's another chapter for you guys!

Ok, here's some info… You can almost predict what kind of chapters I write when you see here listed the songs I've listened to when I wrote the chapter. One exception though, angst come straight from the heart so songs don't affect to angsty chaps.

The songs I listened while writing this chapter: _Africa _by _Toto_

_Dear (piano version) _by _Kyoko Fukada_

_End of all hope _by _Nightwish_

_Can't stop fighting _by_ Velcra _

_Hear me cry _by _Utada Hikaru_

(Kakashi may be a bit ooc in the end of the chapter but do we actually know how he would react in a situation like that? Just get on reading from the **_start _**of the chapter!)

* * *

Kakashi had been watching Sakura for hours now. She was fast asleep on his bed. He watched as she breathed slowly in and out. Her hair was messy and her clothes were tangled around her small body. Kakashi had taken a chair next to his bed so he would be there for her when she would wake up. Somehow he knew that she would need a shoulder when she would wake up. Something from her being just told him that. 

Kakashi sighed heavily as he watched out of his bedroom window. It was dark, which meant that it was late night. He would not get much sleep at the night because the night was about to end but then again he had nothing for the next day and if he had, he could always be a bit late.

He looked at Sakura and realized that she was awake and staring at him. Sakura scratched her head and looked a bit confused. She sat up and continued staring at Kakashi. He felt like she was looking behind his eye, to his soul and seeing everything, every forgotten secret.

"Sakura?" Kakashi asked when he couldn't take her staring anymore. His voice snapped Sakura out of her staring.

"Wha? Oh! Uh. Um… Sorry." Sakura said and blushed. She turned her head to look out of the window.

"It's fine." Kakashi said and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You're waiting an explanation… Right?" Sakura sighed and looked at him, she wasn't so sure should she tell him or not. She wasn't so sure what even had happened, first she realized that Sky had an Akatsuki robe, but she also knew that having a robe doesn't prove anything. But he had acted weirdly then, he didn't want to let her go.

"That would be a good start." Kakashi said and sat onto the bed, next to Sakura.

"Well… I was at his place and I found an Akatsuki robe", Sakura said truthfully silencing Kakashi, "then I freaked out and ran away and came here."

Kakashi didn't say anything for a moment. The silence between them was pressuring Sakura, Kakashi would scold her of freaking out in a situation like that or just comfort her and formulate a plan to capture Sky and interrogate him.

Sakura was just about to open her mouth and say something but Kakashi got first: "Sakura. I don't blame you for freaking out. But I have to keep you here 'til Sky is somewhere where he can't hurt you."

"Thank you." Sakura forced her face to smile and smiling felt more like just showing her teeth to him.

"But before that. Is there anything you need from your apartment?" Kakashi asked looking sternly at her.

"Well. My medicines. Just say to Ino that I'll be here for a few days and I need some stuff. She'll get the most essential things for me." Sakura said quietly.

"Alright. I'll be gone for a few hours, is that ok?" Kakashi asked and got up from the bed.

"Mmm. I guess so." Sakura said knowing that she would prefer is he stayed. She felt always so safe around him. Sakura watched as Kakashi left the room and it only took 10 seconds to hear the front door being closed and realize that she was alone. Sakura mentally slapped herself of being so vulnerable; she needed to be strong, for her sake and for everyone else's sake.

The more minutes passed she got more and more afraid of everything. She was afraid that Sky was dead or he wasn't and he was coming to find her. The minutes were pure torture for Sakura, she started hearing voices, not only Sasuke's voice there were everyone she knew, blaming her, telling her that nobody loved her, telling her that she was all alone and she would always be.

Sakura started crying, she couldn't take the voices anymore. She put her hands on her head and screamed, hoping that it would silence the voices. It didn't help at all on the contrary, it just made it worse. Sakura got of from the bed and walked to the bathroom after realizing that pain would kill the voices. The pain had always done it and it would do it now, she was sure about it.

Sakura took a black towel and sat on the floor against the bathroom door. She took her net glove from her hand and looked at the old scars which reached from her wrist to her shoulder. Sakura smiled, reopening the scars always hurt more. Sakura took a shuriken from her shuriken holster and for a second she just kept the shuriken above her wrist. She new it wasn't healthy to cut herself but she also knew that the voices wouldn't shut up without pain, it was the only way.

Sakura used the shuriken to make a deep cut to her wrist. It hurt but she loved the feeling. She saw as her wrist started bleeding and some blood came out of the cut to the black towel. Sakura opened another old wound and looked at the ceiling. This was her life, this was what she enjoyed doing; hurting herself.

Suddenly she stared feeling a bit light headed and Sakura looked at her wound, it had been a bit deeper than she thought. She put her index finger to her wrist and healed a bit of the wound but making sure that it would leave a scar. Why? She didn't know.

Slowly she got up from the floor, she put the black towel on top of the washing machine. She washed her hands and put her net glove back. Sighing Sakura went back to the bed and lay on her stomach. Her head wasn't on the bed so her blood rushed to her head and she got a headache.

_I hate this_, Sakura thought sulkily and got up to a sitting position.

* * *

Kakashi found Sakura sleeping on his bed. Her hair was glued to her face. He realized that she had been crying. Kakashi felt bad for her, she never had the time to relax and just have fun. After Sakura's 13th birthday, she was always training and making herself better for Sasuke. After Sasuke had been very cold to her Sakura had started to train to beat Sasuke in every way she knew. 

He put a back bag next to the bed, he had gotten the back bag from Ino. There were all the things Ino had thought that Sakura would need. Whatever those things were…

Kakashi carefully sat next to her on the bed, he didn't want to wake her up. He touched her cheek lightly with his index finger, the cheek was still a bit wet. Kakashi smiled when a small sigh escaped from Sakura's lips. She turned her a bit and scratched her nose.

Quickly he got of the bed. He realized what he was doing and especially what he was feeling. Kakashi almost ran to downstairs, he needed desperately a drink or maybe two. His relationship with Sakura was going to the wrong direction. It had been going to the wrong direction since he started training her for the Jounin exam. He was supposed to b only her teacher, nothing else.

He poured sake to a simple glass. He drank the whole glass with a single gulp. He poured some more of that sake and drank it too. Knowing that his drinking would not bring him the answers or even actions he stopped before he could even get drunk. Then he started thinking, was there something wrong in the fact that their relationship was changing. The first thought was 'yes' because she was his student but he realized that he just trained her, she wasn't his student, Sakura was Tsunade's student. Even if Sakura was Kakashi's student he realized that if they had a relationship it would not be so bad thing as long as Kakashi didn't give her special attention or treatment when they were training. But she wasn't his student at least officially.

Kakashi washed his glass with a sponge and put the glass to a cupboard which was almost empty. He looked at his dishwasher thinking that he would have to empty it later. He sighed and looked the clock, it was already a morning. Slowly he walked to his brown leather couch and started sleeping on it.

* * *

Sakura crept silently to the kitchen, somehow she knew that Kakashi was sleeping somewhere at the house. For Sakura's surprise Kakashi was sleeping on the couch which was at the living room just next to the kitchen. Sakura opened the fridge and peeked in, it was nearly empty but full enough that she would be able to do some breakfast for them. Sakura took butter, tomatoes and cheese from the fridge. She put the things to the kitchen counter. Then was the hard part of making breakfast, finding the right things from the right places. 

Sakura end up reaching almost all of the cupboards just to find two plates and two mugs. She made four sandwiches, two for each. She put the sandwiches to the white plates and started making tea. Finding the teabags was easier because Kakashi had made tea for her many times and she knew where to find the teabags.

Sakura made everything ready for breakfast, she even got a few pink flowers from outside and put them in a vase and on the middle of the kitchen table. Then she crept next to Kakashi in order to wake him up. Sakura was just about to poke Kakashi when suddenly he took her hands and put them behind her back and he did all that with closed eyes still laying on the couch.

"Kakashi? THAT HURTS!" Sakura yelled to him.

"You should think twice before trying to do something suspicious to me." Kakashi said yawning.

"I was just trying to wake you up!" Sakura kept yelling, she couldn't believe that he actually thought that she was about to do something suspicious.

"Why? I'm tired and I need sleep." Kakashi groaned and let Sakura go. She turned around to face him.

"I made breakfast and I just happened to think of you and that you may be hungry!" Sakura said angrily and left to the kitchen.

"Breakfast? For me?" Kakashi wondered, no one had ever made him breakfast before. Kakashi got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen.

"Sorry." he said quietly to her.

"It's fine. But I didn't try to do anything suspicious." Sakura sighed and took a bite from her sandwich.

"I know, I know… Oh wow. What did you do to my kitchen?" Kakashi asked and sat down on a dark brown kitchen chair.

"I just made some breakfast and I fetched some flowers." Sakura smiled.

"Oh. Wow. Thank you Sakura. Is this for me?" Kakashi asked looking at the plate before him on the table and the teacup.

"Yep. I hope you like strawberry tea, there were only strawberry teabags." Sakura sighed.

"We can go shopping later." Kakashi grinned.

"We?"

"I trust you want to get out of the house occasionally too. And because you can't leave alone, yet, so going to a grocery store together—"

"—Fine, fine, I already got the point." Sakura laughed.

* * *

Weeks passed and no one had heard Sky or seen him. He was alive but his apartment was emptied, in Tsunade's opinion, Sky had fled back to other Akatsuki members. Kakashi had decided that Sakura could go outside as much as she wanted but she still had to live with Kakashi. She had been so happy for the permission just to go outside without a babysitter. Sakura went out a lot, she jogged and trained and when she came back, she cooked and cleaned Kakashi's apartment. It was a nice change for him; Kakashi didn't like cleaning that much and Sakura was a better cook than he was. 

Kaksahi almost startled as Sakura came inside to the house. She ran to upstairs not even saying 'hi' or anything, Kakashi just thought that she was just busy or something. Kakashi changed his mind when it had been over 20 minutes and she still hadn't come back. He got of his couch and went to upstairs behind the door of the bathroom. He listened for a second and realized that she was crying.

Kakashi knocked on the door and waited. No response. He knocked again.

"What?" she asked with shaky voice.

"Sakura, are you alright?" Kakashi asked from behind the door.

"I'm fine." she said monotonically.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked. She didn't answer. "Sakura, answer." Kakashi said. He heard that she unlocked the door. He opened the door and just stared the sight for a moment. Sakura's hand was full of cuts, fresh cuts, blood was dripping from the tip of her fingers to the floor. She had a kunai on her other hand where some blood was dripping to the floor too. There was a white towel on the floor and it had red spots on it which were her blood. She was tired of lying to him all the time, now he knew and she wished that he would not be angry at her.

"Sakura?" Kakashi couldn't say more, it was so surreal. He didn't get why she wanted to hurt herself.

"What?" Sakura asked and picked the towel from the floor.

"Why?"

"Because." she said lifting her gaze from the floor, she was crying.

"Sakura. Stop it. You can't live like this."

"I know."

"Then why?"

"Because I can't help it. Because this is so fucked up, because I want to die, because I'm not happy, because I have to take pills just to shut the voices, because the voices want me to do this, because I don't see the point in being happy."

Suddenly he was directly in front of her, their distance was under 30 cm (11,81 inches). He just stared at her with his black eye. Sakura didn't know was he mad, sympathetic or happy, he was unreadable. Soon she realized that his arms were around her.

"This isn't like you." they said at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Sakura asked before he could ask or say anything.

"Promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Promise me that you wont commit a suicide. Sakura, promise me it." he almost begged.

"What? Why? Mom always said that I shouldn't make promises which I can't keep. I can't make that promise to you." Sakura said quietly.

"My father. White Fang. He committed a suicide. And I don't want that happen to you. Life can never be so fucked up that you have to kill yourself or even cut your wrists." he said and hugged her a little tighter.

"I wont promise anything."

"Sakura please." he said.

"Kakashi-sensei, why should I promise something that I can't keep? And why is it so important to you? God sake's, I'm just your student!" Sakura said almost angrily.

* * *

**A/N: **School is over, YAY! Next update will be in 2 weeks (most likely in a week). I have been sick, allergic and tired so that's why I didn't update sooner… Oh well… **Please Review! Your reviews mean a lot to me!**

Oh, and I've started another KakaSaku fan fic, it's **Our Tiny Little Secret Garden**... You should check it out and review.. hehe... advertising.. hehe

-danax


	9. Goodbye, suicide attempt and a kiss

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**You guys want lemons, eh? Fine. I will write one lemon and depending on the comeback (and the amount of it) and then I ****_may _write another one.**

**Ok, this chapter will be a song chapter well, at least partly it will be or it is… anyways... The song is _Nemo_ by _Nightwish_. ****Remember to review!

* * *

**

"Kakashi-sensei. Don't say that I'm more than a student to you. Don't say it. I'm just an empty shell. There is nothing behind my eyes, nothing under my skin and nothing in my heart." Sakura continued hastily.

"Sakura. There is so much more than you even know. I've seen it, I know how you care about others, you are always ready to help, you always blame yourself is some patient of yours dies, Sakura, you _have_ a loving heart. Even though you might not always believe it but you have, believe me." he said whispering into her ear and still hugging her.

_This is me for forever  
One of the lost ones  
The one without a name  
Without an honest heart  
as compass  
_

"Stop. If I have a loving heart, why can't I feel? Why can't I love? There is nothing for me in this life it would be better just not to be, it would be so much better just to be dead." Sakura cried, couldn't he see that his words were killing her. Hearing the words he spoke and knowing that he was wrong and hoping to be right was killing her.

_  
This is me for forever  
One without a name  
These lines the last endeavour  
To find the missing lifeline  
_

"For everyone, there is something in their life. Live your life and see what it gives you, maybe just maybe you'll find yourself happy someday, without your medicines. Just don't give up, not yet when you've reached so far." he said and pushed himself a bit away from her, so that he could see her eyes. The sight of crying Sakura made him feel sad.

"It's not normal to hear voices that tell you to kill yourself. It's not normal to not be able to sleep and dream, I long for dreams. It's not normal to be happy with the help of medicines. My life isn't normal and I wish it would be," Sakura cried, "there is no hope for me, I'd give everything I have to get hope and I'd kill for hope. Do you know how it is to live without hope, dreams and love?"

_  
Oh how I wish  
For soothing rain  
All I wish is to dream again  
My loving heart  
Lost in the dark  
For hope I'd give my everything  
_

"I don't know. But it can't be that bad that you would have to kill yourself. There is always hope." Kakashi said trying to make her understand.

"Honestly, why do you care? I'm just your student." Sakura said quietly.

"Because I don't want you to die. Sakura, every friend of mine has died for a reason or another. I don't want to lose you." he said looking straight into her eyes.

"Why?" she asked lowering her gaze to the floor.

"Because", he said and lifted her jaw by his finger, "you're more than an ex-student to me."

_  
My flower, withered between  
The pages 2 and 3  
The once and forever bloom  
gone with my sins  
_

"Why?"

"There is no answer for every question." Kakashi smiled and wiped a few tears from her sad face.

_  
Walk the dark path  
Sleep with angels  
Call the past for help  
Touch me with your love  
And reveal to me my true name  
_

"Please just stop…" Sakura sighed.

"Sakura, you will kill me if you commit a suicide." he said just before she vanished from the room. He didn't know what to do, she needed to be alone and clear her head but he was afraid what she might do.

This was another time when he was clueless about her. At the first time he had screwed up by making sure she was always safe and well protected, he did not concentrate on training her, he did not pay enough attention to her and now she had crept into his heart.

_  
Oh how I wish  
For soothing rain  
All I wish is to dream again  
My loving heart  
Lost in the dark  
For hope I'd give my everything  
_

Sakura ran from the house as fast as she could. She didn't care about the fact that her hands were still bleeding nor about the light headedness she started feeling. She needed to get away from him and fast. She didn't want to be a disappointment to Kakashi. She didn't want him to see all of her flaws. Most of all she didn't want to share her pain with anyone. That is what relationships were to her, sharing things and she wasn't good at that.

_  
Oh how I wish  
For soothing rain  
Oh how I wish to dream again  
_

Sakura reached for a small lake and crashed to the edge of it. He couldn't have made it clearer to her, he felt something towards her. She just felt like she would be another disappointment in the book of disappointments. She didn't know what she felt towards him, she didn't know what she wanted anymore but the only thing she knew was that her life had to change and soon, otherwise she would be dead.

_  
Once and for all  
And all for once  
Nemo my name forever more  
_

Sakura hugged her knees and buried her face to her knees. For her sitting like that was a pure sign of weakness but she didn't care at the moment.

"Sakura." a voice called for her.

"Kakashi, just leave me alone." she sighed.

"I'm not Kakashi." the voice laughed. She lifted her head up from her knees and turned it a bit. The sight just made her cry more, cry for the fear. Her muscles tensed, her breathing became heavy, her heart started beating faster and she just wished that she would be dead.

"Sky." she sighed quietly. Adrenalin began rushing through her body; she would be ready for escape or to a battle. She made her tears stop flowing and she dried her tears.

"You're bleeding." he notified and sat next to her like nothing had happened. His actions surprised her; she had been expecting more aggressive behaviour from him. Sakura looked at her hands, they needed to be healed.

"What are you doing?" she asked quickly.

"Saying goodbye." he sighed and smiled to her. Before she could even react he had taken her left hand and was wrapping it to a piece of clothing.

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be? There are just some lousy Jounins looking for me and between me and you, they have no chance against me," he laughed and captured Sakura's other hand, "now tell me. Why were you crying?"

"No."

"What?"

"I said no. I wont tell you. You are an enemy ninja. You lied to me and I was fool and I believed you." she said and pulled her hand back.

"Fine then." he smiled and tried to kiss her but she turned her head and his lips met her cheek. When she couldn't sense his presence anymore, she got up from the dusty ground. Slowly but with determined steps she started walking towards the lake.

_  
Nemo sailing home  
Nemo letting go  
_

The water was cold but the coldness was welcome. The water reached higher to her legs on her every step, but she kept walking to the water.

_Sakura… It's over soon_, she thought crying. Only the thought of dying and soon made her smile. She had no hope, or that was what she thought.

_  
Oh how I wish  
For soothing rain  
All I wish is to dream again  
My loving heart  
Lost in the dark  
For hope I'd give my everything  
_

The water reached to her chest and she began swimming to the deeper part of the lake. She had goose bumps, her hair wet, her shoes weighted much but that was only a good thing for her. When she had reached to the middle of the lake, she emptied her lungs and let her body fall to the bottom of the lake.

_  
Once and for all  
And all for once  
Nemo my name forevermore  
My name forevermore_

Dark water surrounded her, she was cold and hoping that it would be over soon. Her mind began slipping into a state which was something between consciousness and unconsciousness. Her thoughts started vanish from her head 'til she lost her consciousness.

_Meanwhile…_

Kakashi had been looking for Sakura because he had had a bad feeling about her state of mind. A few minutes ago he sensed her presence and it had been a strong one. But now her presence was getting weaker and weaker by the minute.

He started running faster; he knew that there were only reasons why her presence was getting weaker. The first reason would be that she was running away from him, the second reason would be that she was dying and her chakra disappearing. He feared for her, he had been serious when he had said that she would kill him too by committing a suicide.

He reached a lake. He could still sense her weak presence somewhere near him. Sighing he lowered his gaze to the ground and he saw a piece of clothing and it was bloody. He took the piece of clothing from the ground. It was still a bit wet. He looked around and saw nothing except the lake. His guts told him that the answer was in the lake but his mind refused to believe it.

Right when he realized that he couldn't sense her anymore, he took off his shoes and his vest and went into the water. He swam to the middle of the lake and started diving in order to find her. He dived, searched and came up always without any clue where she was.

When he was finally giving up his hand touched something which felt like silky on his hands. He dived deeper and realized that it was her, his hand had touched her hair. He took Sakura from her arms and dragged her to the surface. He realized that dragging a body to the shore wasn't as easy as it looked in the television.

As they were on the dry ground he checked if she was breathing, she wasn't. He bent her head back and lifted her chin a bit in order to open her airways. He started giving CPR after realizing that her heart didn't beat.

He felt like he was about to die as he was trying to get some life into Sakura's body. When he was starting to give up hope, Sakura started coughing water.

"Sakura. Can you hear me?" Kakashi asked quickly. Her flaming eyes were staring at him, something told to Kakashi that she was angry.

"Sakura?" he asked again.

"Hell, yeah! Can't you leave me alone for a fucking day so that I could fucking kill myself! Can't you see that I want to die! If I didn't want to die, would I try to kill myself! Why don't you just leave me alone!" she screamed with hoarse voice from the ground.

"Sakura. I don't want you to die." he said sternly.

"Yeah, but did I ask your fucking opinion!" she asked angrily and got up into a sitting position.

"Sakura…"

"—Stop repeating my fucking name!" Sakura said and got up from the ground. She almost fell down and he caught her.

"I don't need you!" she said and twisted herself from his arms and started walking back to the lake. He stopped her by wrapping his arms around her upper body, keeping her from walking to the lake.

"Let me go!" she yelled.

"No."

"This is my life! I can decide what to do with it!"

"No."

"Just let me go…" she said quietly.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"What do you want from me? Why do you… want me?" she asked quietly.

"There is no answer to every one of your questions." he answered and put his forehead on her shoulder.

"Please stop. I'm gonna just be just another disappointment in your life. There's nothing in me. Please just find the perfect girl from somewhere. It's not me. And it'll never be me." Sakura said and immediately after saying it, she started crying once again.

"Stop this now. You are not a disappointment in my life."

"Then show me your face."

Kakashi said nothing, he just lowered his mask with one hand while his other hand was still keeping Sakura still.

"Turn around." he whispered. She honestly didn't expect that, she had thought that he would say 'no' or something else.

"I will if you let me go."

"Fine. But promise me that you wont go back to that lake!"

"…"

"Sakura?"

"I can't live like this. You know it. You were the one who said it, remember? I don't want to live like this."

"I know."

"And you know that I cut myself and I don't have the will to live? And you know that I hate wearing skirts, I hate pink stuff, I hate gossiping with someone and I absolutely hate lying?"

"Yeah."

"And you still want _me_!" she asked.

"Well…"

"Oh man… You have to be kidding me!" she laughed.

"What?"

"You do realize that you have to be pretty desperate to want _me_!"

"No I don't have to be desperate."

"Hah! Yeah, right."

"So…"

"So… what?"

"Turn around." he said again and took his arms around her. She turned around and as soon as she had seen him, she started screaming and she covered her eyes.

"Put the mask back!" she yelled.

"Why?"

"Because! I wont believe that you're Kakashi-sensei, 'til you've masked again!"

"Why?"

"Because you look like a man from an underwear advertisement!"

Silently he took a step towards her and put one finger under her chin and lifted it. She had shut her eyes. Kakashi pressed his lips against hers.

Sakura's mouth slightly opened in surprise, this was not anything she had expected. He took the change and slipped his tongue into her mouth.

It took many seconds for Sakura to understand what he was doing. When she got her senses, mind and thoughts back she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. If it was just the one kiss which they would ever have, she would kiss like it was her last.

* * *

**If I had many grammar mistakes, it's 'cause the clock is almost 4 am… Ok, please review!** **TBC... **

**-danax**


	10. Memories

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the plot and Sky. Haha.**

I seriously love you guys! Why? Because I've gotten 130 reviews! Thank you! Keep it up!

This chapter has been the hardest chapter to write, ever. Damn… Oh but anyways, I do not have opinion 'bout this chapter but I am hoping that you could give me your opinion.

I listened to these songs while I was writing this chapter: _Tainted Love_ by _Marilyn Manson_

_Try_ by _Nelly Furtado_

_Sing a Love Song for Me_ by _Kyoko Fukada_

_Mizerable_ by _Gackt _

_Maneater_ by _Nelly Furtado_

_Turn off the Light_ by _Nelly Furtado

* * *

_

Sakura was laying on her bed, her eyes were looking for small cracks from the ceiling. She didn't know what to think although she was thinking all the time. She thought everything what had happened before she kissed her ex-sensei and everything what had happened after it. She wasn't so sure what to think about the kiss and still, she had many thoughts and feelings about the kiss.

Sighing she turned her side so that she was on her right side facing the wall. Everything was so confusing in her life at the moment. She didn't know what to think about her ex-sensei, her life, Sasuke, her depression and the death of her parents was still on her mind.

Her mind started going over and over again the day she had kissed her teacher. After the kiss she had felt awkward and he head noticed it. So he had kissed her again and the awkwardness had started to vanish. Then he had taken her to his house and cleaned her wounds on her hands, although she could have done it by herself but she had been too confused to even think clearly at that time. After she had changed her clothes to something dry, they had eaten some dinner and she had told her meeting with Sky. Well, she had left the part out where Sky had tried to kiss her. Soon after the dinner she had left Kakashi's house and had gone to home. He had said that it was ok for her to leave if she truly believed that Sky had left the village, and she believed so.

After that day Sakura had been more confused than ever. She wasn't so sure that she wanted to commit a suicide anymore. She felt like she was getting her will power back. Kakashi had a strange affect on her that was for sure.

Their kissing moment had happened two days ago and she had been avoiding him since then. Even the fact that she was consciously avoiding Kakashi confused her. Even the voices in her head had decided to be quiet, she was sure that the silence in her head was somehow connected to Kakashi.

She got of the bed, went to the bathroom and took a small bottle of sleeping pills. She opened the bottle and took one. Her psychiatrist had ordered her to take those pills when she was sure that she would not be able to sleep. But she wasn't allowed to use many sleeping pills in a week or in a month, eating them wasn't healthy.

* * *

Sakura woke up feeling like she had a bunch of tiles on her lower stomach. Groaning she rolled on her bed moving to the other side of the bed. She saw red stains on the sheets and immediately every thing she tried to forget came back to her, the day at training grounds with Sasuke rushed to her mind. The day with its horrors was the reason why she changed and just gave up. 

_FLASHBACK_** (a/n: continues right after the flashback in the chapter 1)**

"_SASUKE FUCK YOU!" Sakura yelled from the top of her lungs, not even realizing that she was yelling to the man she loved. It was a natural reaction, or that was what she told her self after realizing what she had yelled. _

"_Sakura, why are you yelling at me like that?" Sasuke asked like he didn't know why she was pissed off._

"_What!" Sakura asked looking sternly at him, she couldn't believe that he had even asked that._

"_You heard me, why are you yelling at me like that?" he said taking a few steps towards her. _

"_Why do you think?" _

"_I don't know. But I can help you to get better only if you give your body in my use." he grinned and kept taking steps towards her and she started taking steps away from him._

"_Let you do whatever you want with my BODY! Are you out of your mind?" she asked and took one big step backwards and stopped._

"_No. I know exactly what I'm doing and I know what I want." he smirked and kept taking steps towards her. _

"_Well, didn't anyone tell you that you don't always get what you want?" Sakura asked hoping that he would stop taking steps towards her, otherwise he would be right in front of her in a few seconds. But he kept taking steps towards her. _

"_No. I always get what I want." he smirked and he was right in front of her. Sakura started to get a bit scared of him. _

"_What are you doing?" Sakura asked when their bodies were almost touching. She got more scared of him when she realized that he was not going to leave her. _

_She took a step back and was about to turn around and leave when he grabbed her wrists. _

"_Where do you think you're going? We're not finished, yet." he said glaring at her._

"_What more do you want from me? You said that I wont never be as good as you or Naruto is. And I have no intention to give my body on your use. Let me go." _

"_I didn't ask." he said still looking at her._

"_What?"_

"_I didn't ask if you wanted to have sex with me and have a child after that. I didn't ask if you wanted to give your body to me." he said coldly._

"_Just stop it!" she yelled trying to get away from him but his grip on her hand just got tighter. Soon he had captured her other hand too. _

"_Now why would I do that?" he asked smirking at her, he found her afraid of him amusing. _

_Sakura had no answer to his question. She was afraid of the reasoning why he would not want to let her go. _

_He came one step closer to her. Her hands were behind her and tightly in his grip. His head was so close to her neck that she could feel his breath on her skin. _

"_What are you doing?" she asked with a shaky voice when she felt his lips on the skin of her neck. The next thing she felt was an instant pain on her neck, he had bit her. Then his mouth was gone from her neck and she felt something tickling on her ear._

"_Taking. What. I. Want." he whispered to her. She realized that his breath had tickled her. _

_A few hours ago Sakura would have been more than happy to stand still while Sasuke was doing those things to her. But now the perfect image of Sasuke in her mind had shattered to pieces. She didn't want to be near him not even talk to him. She did not love him anymore. _

_She tried to push him away from her but he just came closer to her. When Sasuke's actions get more rushed and his breathing heavier, Sakura realized that she was trapped, she could not leave the place because he did not want her to leave. She was like a bird in a cage. He was the god and he set the rules, she was just an ant which could be crushed easily. He had the power and strength and she had only the fear and despair. _

"_Sasuke. Stop. Please." she cried silently as his hands were undressing her. She wished so badly that it was only a bad dream and that she would be waking up soon. But every time she wished something, the wish didn't come true. _

_Tears started rolling from her cheek faster but she cried silently. He wouldn't have known that she was crying if he hadn't seen her face. _

"_Sakura, why are you crying? I'm giving you the thing you want." he smiled wickedly. _

"_No." she whispered._

"_What?"_

"_No! I don't want this!" she screamed crying and tried to get him off of her. _

_She felt like dying when Sasuke's hands had found their way under her dress. Silently Sakura swore that she would never ever use a dress again. She started feeling numb, the fear was numbing and she didn't know what was happening anymore. She didn't feel his hands anywhere. But when she had the courage to open her eyes, she saw Sasuke laying on the ground and Neji was taking her clothes from the ground. Neji put her jacket on her. _

"_I heard your scream." he said. _

_Sakura was speechless. _

"_And I came here. You should avoid him for now." _

_Sakura was too confused to say anything. She felt so many feelings inside of her and she felt like she had lost something, maybe a part of herself or maybe it was just her crush which she had lost._

_END OF THE FLASHBACK_

Sakura shook her head, she didn't want to remember but she also knew that she could never forget.

_FLASHBACK_

_Sakura had gone to sleep and slept very peacefully but when she woke up, she knew that something was wrong. She couldn't feel anything and she felt like she had been drugged. She forced her eyes to open and put the covers aside. _

_She screamed as she saw that she was naked, her body was on bruises and the covers were on blood. She knew that whatever her condition was, it was beyond her skills of healing. She needed help. Her hand started to go to the direction of her phone. She knew that she couldn't call Tsunade because she would go ballistic. The only person she could rely on this was Shizune. _

_It didn't take long for Shizune to arrive. First Shizune cleared Sakura's lower body from the blood, then she took some blood which was to be sent to a lab. Shizune examined Sakura's vagina. _

"_Sakura." Shizune said quietly. _

"_I know. I've been raped?" she asked quietly preparing her for the answer._

"_Yes and there is another thing you should—"_

"_NO! I don't want to hear it! But if I'm pregnant, say it now."_

"_You are not pregnant." _

"_Good. Then I don't want to hear." _

"_Ok then. But you are still able to have babies." _

"…"

"_Sakura, you need to tell Tsunade." _

"_NO! No. No. No. She would just see me as a weak person. I don't want anyone to know, you got me? Don't tell anyone!"_

"_I wont. But if this happens again—"_

"_It wont happen again. I'll make sure of it, I'll be a better ninja and then capable of taking care of myself." _

"_Sakura."_

"_Don't. You know, it's done now. There is nothing anyone can do, right? I can't do anything now except I can start watching my back and be more careful from now on."_

"_Ok then. But as soon as I get the results from the blood test, I'll come back and check your condition—"_

"—_Fine."_

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

Sakura sighed, it had been the day when everything had changed in her life. She had just lost hope. Why? She didn't know.

* * *

Kakashi closed the orange book in front of him. Even the book could not distract him from the thoughts of Sakura. He knew that she was avoiding him but he didn't know the reason. 

He put the book into his pocket and took a deep breath. His mind started analyzing all the possible choices why she was avoiding him.

_She might feel weird; I was her teacher after all. She might not like me in that way… No, she did kiss me back. She might be afraid. Of what? Men? Maybe. She might regret the kiss. Why? Maybe it didn't feel right for her. She might just be confused. Why? Good question, I'll ask her. _

He jumped from the branch where he had been sitting on and started walking towards Sakura's and Ino's apartment. He needed to know if she even wanted to have a relationship with him. And most of all, he wanted to see her.

He looked at the apartment house and especially the window which was Sakura's. He didn't see any movement at the room but he knew that she was there, he sensed her presence.

Sighing he continued to the house. Before he even thought of knocking on the door he tried if the door was open, it was. He stepped inside and took of his shoes. When he was about to call her name, Sakura almost bumped into him.

"K-kakashi-sensei?" she asked as she took a step backwards.

"You could stop using that suffix you know…" he grinned.

"I. Uh. Mmm. Alright." she smiled weakly to him.

"You alright?" he asked suddenly and brushed her cheek with his hand.

_What? Is it that obvious?_ She thought.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine." she said.

"You do know that I can't make it better if you keep lying to me." he said looking sternly at her.

"I uh. was just… It's really nothing."

"Sakura."

"Just something that I wish to forget." she said quickly hoping that the information was enough for him, she wasn't good at telling her things to people.

"You know you can't forget anything that you wish to. But you can accept it and maybe someday you will forget it." he smiled and lifted her head with his index finger.

"I know."

"Is the memory that bad?"

"Yes."

"Sharing helps." he smiled.

"Not now, not when it comes to this memory." she said quietly and kept her eyes away from his eyes, otherwise she would have started crying.

"It helps always."

"No it doesn't. You don't understand."

"Then help me."

"I can't." she sighed and a tear escaped from her eye.

"Don't shut me away from your life." he said and made her look his eyes, he was serious.

"It hurts too much."

"Letting someone in for a change? I don't believe you."

"No. The memory. And the consequences and the fact that I don't know who—"

"Who what?"

"Who did it." she cried.

"Did what?"

"It."

"Sakura. Tell me."

"No. You don't understand, I can't tell you."

"Try."

"No."

"Sakura. You need to tell someone if it hurts that much."

"I can't!" she cried and quickly wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey. It's alright."

"It's not alright! Nothing is! And I'll never get it back… and I'll never be able to give it to who ever I want."

"Give what?"

"…"

"Sakura tell me!" he said angrily.

"I-I-I-I… I was… I was. I was. I was raped." she cried.

Kakashi didn't say anything, he was too stunned. And Sakura just cried to his chest.

"Are you happy now? You know my deep dark secret. Go ahead and tell it to everyone—"

"—Sakura!"

"I'm sorry." she said quietly.

"It was a secret and it will be a secret. I wont tell it to anyone." he said and hugged her.

"Thank you, Kakashi-se… Um. Kakashi."

"Who did it?" he asked and hoped that the answer would not be Sasuke.

"I don't know."

"…"

"I woke up and I had been drugged. And my body was covered with blood and bruises."

Kakashi silently thanked that she didn't know who it was and that she had been drugged. He knew that if she knew who did it and if she had been conscious, her mental health would be worse. He also swore that he would make sure that it would not happen ever again.

* * *

**A/N: ok.. _I beg for reviews from you guys, I honestly don't know what to think of this chapter!_ (review if you have questions, suggestions 'bout the plot, anything!) Now I'm gonna go to sleep... G'night guys! **

** -danax  
**


	11. New mission

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, but you knew that already!**

I'm so sorry for the late update. Insert you fav. lousy excuse to here** Oh and this chapter is dedicated for Kyo-my-Love because she reviewed every chapter of this story in one day.** Thank you, you made my day.

* * *

Kakashi was still holding Sakura in his arms. He heard that she was crying and all he could do was hug her a little tighter.

"I'm sorry." she mumbled to his shoulder.

"Hmm? Sorry for what?"

"I've been avoiding you. But only because I was scared and confused." she said and she was still crying.

"I know." he whispered.

"You know?"

"I know that you were avoiding me. I just didn't know why but thank you, for telling me."

"You're not angry?" she sniffled.

"No. Why would I be?"

"Well I _was avoiding_ you."

"But for a reason. Don't worry, I'm not angry." he said and kissed the top of her head.

She pushed herself from the embrace and looked in his eye. She just needed to make sure he was not lying to her.

"You're not lying." she mumbled quietly.

"Why would I be lying?" he asked and wiped one tear off under her eye.

"I dunno. Maybe I'm not just used to this. Being with someone and sharing things. And trusting someone to be honest with me."

"You'll get the hang of it." he smiled sweetly at her.

"Will I?"

"Yes. I'll make you." he grinned receiving a smile from her. She started to lower his mask but he stopped her with his hands.

"What? What are you doing?" she asked in a state of confusion.

"Sakura. Do you want this?"

"Why wouldn't I want? I trust you. And I like you." she said truthfully looking at his eye and trying to find out what he was feeling.

"You're sure?"

"Mmm. Pretty sure." she grinned.

"Are you sure that you are sure?" he asked with a huge grin on his face, he had changed their serious conversation into a joke. He received a hard hit to his head which he hadn't even seen coming. He had to admit that she was improving as a ninja and she was improving a lot.

"Of course I'm sure that I'm sure! Honestly! Do you really think that I would say that I really want this even though I really didn't? And besides that'd be lying to me and to you. And I'm not into lying to myself and—"

"—I already got it", he laughed interrupting her, "now that you've stopped talking so much, I can do this."

He kissed her and wrapped his arms around her. For him the kiss felt like learning something new of her, like how she wrapped her arms around him or how her eyes closed when he kissed him or just simply the way she kissed him back. He loved learning and noticing new things about her.

"What?" she asked after she had broke the kiss and he had just stared at her.

"Nothing." he smiled.

"You're mysterious as always."

"Guess so… Hey, by the way, where Ino is?"

"Um. I have no idea. She said earlier today something about emergency and then something about Tenten and then something about her job at the academy." she thought aloud.

"Well, she hasn't changed at all. But hey, I have to go now." he sighed.

"But why? You just came." she said and her voice was filled with sadness.

"I had an appointment with the Hokage 2 hours ago."

"Nothing serious? You're not going anywhere, are you?"

"Oh no. Don't worry. We're just going to talk about a mission." he said and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Alright then. You should go now." she said and pushed his chest a bit with her hands. He took a step backwards letting his hands fall from her shoulder. He scratched the back of his head and he looked like he had something else to say.

"Go. And come by later, ok?" she said looking into his eye, she wanted him to leave as soon as possible because then he would be back sooner.

"Alright, alright." he grinned and vanished with a 'poof'.

* * *

Sighing Kakashi stepped into the Hokage's office. He was going to be yelled at, maybe even screamed at by Tsunade. Tsunade was sitting behind her desk which was full of stacks of papers.

"You're late." Tsunade said with a monotonic voice.

_So no yelling or screaming. Yet. Maybe she IS getting old_, he thought smirking mentally.

"I had to help an old granny with her groceries. You know how much the groceries actually weight. She would've never survived without me." Kakashi sighed and sat down on a chair which was placed right in front of Tsunade's desk.

"Why do you always lie when everyone knows that you're lying? Oh hell, I don't have the time for hearing the answer. I'll go straight to the point. Your mission is over now that Sakura is seeing a psychiatrist, taking medicines and feeling better."

"Alright then."

"But. If you do get some information about her which helps me to understand why the hell she is depressed in the first place, you have to tell me."

"Ok."

"So, you have no information 'bout it at the moment?" she asked and leaned a bit forward, if she had leaned any further, the stacks of papers would've fallen to Kakashi's lap.

"No. Can't say I have." he sighed knowing that he should tell her about the fact that Sakura was raped but he would keep his mouth shut about it. He had promised that to her, and he would keep the promise. Not telling to Tsunade had its own disadvantages too for example she could sign just Sakura and Sasuke to a same mission.

"And you are going to a mission at Friday." Tsunade said and took a pen to her right hand.

"Hm? What kind of a mission?"

"You, Sasuke and Sakura are all going to that mission. You'll steal one scroll from a ninja and after stealing it, you'll kill him. Well, Sakura kills him." she said and signed a paper.

"So it's like a test for her?"

"Yes, it is. I need to know that she'll be able to kill without hesitating. Now, I'll give you this scroll now. It has all the information you need about the person. You have 2 weeks to complete the mission." she explained and handed over the scroll.

"2 weeks?"

"Yes, 2 weeks. Considering who the person is and where the person is, 2 weeks is just good amount of time."

"Ok then."

"You'll leave at 6 am on Friday", she said and before Kakashi could say anything she continued, "this is a mission where you can't be late. Be on time."

* * *

Sakura was sitting on a couch. She was hugging her legs, her forehead was on her knees and she was crying. She was crying for the pain she felt in her lower stomach and she was crying for the life which was hers. She hated it. She also hated the fact that she had lost her ability to be happy for the small things in her life. The only spark in her life was the only thing she could rely on, Kakashi. And it only made her cry harder, she felt like failing him. She thought that he had feelings for some Sakura who didn't exist anymore. 

She wiped a few tears from her face. She wanted to be the old Sakura again, she just wanted her old spirit back. She even had to admit that her Inner Sakura had gotten quieter and weaker.

Sighing she got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom. She washed her hands and face hoping that the "blood" would go from her face and hands. After she had washed her face 5 times with water she realized that the blood didn't go away.

She opened the cabinet above her and took a bottle of pills. The pills were for her depression. She took one pill, put it into her mouth and swallowed it. Then she took a glass from the sink, filled it with cold water and drank it. She put the glass back with shaky hands, she had started crying again. It made her angry, to not to be able hold burning tears from coming out of her eyes. She wiped the tears from her face hoping that those tears would have been the last ones.

_Well, dreams never come true anyways_, she thought as she took her tooth brush from her mug of tooth brushes.

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey! Yo! Kakashi!" Iruka yelled and ran next to Kakashi.

"Hmm? What?"

"Where are you going? Today is the poker night. And we even got a few ladies to join. And with a few drinks, we might get to play strip-poker!" Iruka explained happily.

"I can't tonight."

"Why not? It's _strip-poker _man! You can't say 'no' to strip-poker!"

"Iruka. Even if you got the ladies around the table and even if you gave them enough drinks, do you honestly think that they'd be more than happy to start playing strip-poker when they're drunk?" Kakashi asked silencing Iruka.

"I guess you're right. But you should still come and see if we get them to play strip-poker." Iruka said.

"I can't tonight." Kakashi said again.

"It seems like you have some better things to do than see some naked female skin." Iruka laughed.

"Your chances to get see some _naked female skin_ is very low with that plan." Kakashi grinned.

"But trying doesn't cost anything."

"Except you have to buy the drinks."

"Oh man." Iruka sighed.

"Yeah, but don't worry, be happy. Maybe you'll get to see some _naked female skin_, who knows?" Kakashi grinned.

"Sigh."

* * *

"Sakura, why are you always drinking that stuff?" Ino asked when Sakura poured some water into a glass.

Sakura was leaning on the kitchen counter and Ino was sitting on a kitchen chair and chewing her fingernails. Sakura turned to see her friend who had stopped chewing her fingernails for a moment.

"It's water Ino. You should drink it." she sighed.

"Why can't you drink something which tastes better?"

"Why? I like water. And besides, you shouldn't complain. I'm the one drinking the water, not you." she grinned and drank some of the cold water.

"So anyways. What was your emergency earlier today?" Sakura continued.

"Oh that. It's nothing. You don't want to know."

"Ok." Sakura sighed, drank more water and after seeing Ino's facial expression she continued, "do you want some? It doesn't cost anything?"

Ino just sneered at her as Sakura put the glass to the table and sat onto a chair.

"So tell me. What are your plans for tonight?" Ino asked with a wicked grin on her face.

"Well. As you can see, I'm already in my pajamas. So it's going to be sleeping mostly."

"I was thinking that we should go to some club and—"

"—No I'm already in my pajamas so I'm not going to go to any club. And besides Kakashi's gonna drop by."

"Kakashi is coming here? And the clock is over 9 pm? And you're just wearing pajamas?"

"It's not what you think." Sakura sighed knowing exactly what her friend was thinking.

"Yeah, right. Whatever you say girl… Whatever you say."

"You don't believe me?"

"I never said that I don't believe you. It's just that even if you didn't think of dancing tango horizontally maybe he is thinking about that. And the clock is way over 9 pm and you are wearing pajamas."

"So you think that—"

"—I'm trying not to think."

"Fine."

"But now, this girl is going to go a club and find the perfect one night stand."

"Good luck." Sakura sighed as Ino got up from her chair.

"I don't need luck because I'm _good_. Oh, and don't expect me to be back early tomorrow. Or maybe tomorrow at all."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Ok, then. C'ya!" Ino said as she left the room.

Sakura heard a loud 'bang' and then she knew Ino had left.

"C'ya." she sighed to the empty room.

She started to think why she had asked Kakashi to come see her later. She thought of every possible reason but there was no reason. She just wanted him to come later, or maybe the reason was just the want to see him.

_Is want a weakness? Want can drive people do many things and it can weaken the spirit. But is it a weakness? **Don't ask so hard questions! **Shut up. **Well don't start asking questions when you want me to shut up! **Would you just please shut up? **Nah, don't feel like it. **You're killing me! **Yeah baby, I love you too. **What the fuck! **It depends. **What? Just if you can't shut up, can you be less confusing! **It depends if your want is a weakness. Depends what the want makes you do… If you start training harder physically and mentally, it's not a weakness. But if it's making you sadder and stuff, it's definitely a weakness. If it makes you give up certain things, it's a weakness. **You're right… _

She got up from the chair and dragged her body to the couch and laid herself onto the couch. She could feel how tired her body was. She wanted to sleep forever.

"Sakura. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep." she said and slammed her hand to her forehead.

"Why you shouldn't fall asleep?" Kakashi asked receiving a scream for an answer. He walked closer to the couch to see her.

"What did I do now?" he asked and bent over the couch to see her face.

"You scared the shit out of me! Stop sneaking into other's apartments like that!" she yelled.

"I'm sorry. But the door was open."

"That damn Ino." she sighed.

"So you have any extra room on that couch?" he asked smirking. She looked at him for a second and grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to the couch. He landed hard on her. Then they started twisting their bodies on the couch so that he was under her and she was just lying on top of him. Her right cheek was on his chest and his hands were on her back, keeping her from falling down or running away.

"I'm so tired." she said quietly.

"Sleep then."

"Mmm. But would I be killing you if I slept on top of you? Can you breathe?"

"Yeah I can. Oh, one thing, we have a mission the day after tomorrow."

"On Friday?"

"Yeah."

"I'd better get some sleep then. I need my strength for the mission." she mumbled to his chest and soon she was fast asleep.

* * *

_Friday, 5:59 am. _

Sakura was leaning to a wall while she and Sasuke were waiting for Kakashi to appear.

She was panicking. It had been so long from the last time she had been alone with Sasuke. The fact that there weren't others around them freaked her out. She was avoiding his gaze, she wasn't talking to him and she was playing with a kunai, just to make him know that she was ready to throw it at him.

She quickly looked at him and his back was facing her. A quiet sigh of relief escaped from her lips. She was relieved that he wasn't trying to talk to her or doing anything else.

She heard a 'poof' somewhere above her so she looked up just to see Kakashi staring at her. He was on top of the wall. She looked at her watch and then him.

"You're on time. Almost." she sighed not knowing how she should react.

"Good morning to you too." he grinned and jumped off the wall.

"Oh, good morning!" she said quickly trying to hide her blush.

"So, where's the mission?" Sasuke asked and walk next to Sakura.

"At the Lightning country." Kakashi answered.

"Oh man. It takes several days to get there." Sakura sighed.

"That's why I packed a tent for us!" Kakashi grinned.

_Oh man. I might as well as die on this mission… Sleeping in the same tent with Sasuke… Oh man_, Sakura thought and realized that she was already falling behind. They had already started walking.

"Kakashi. Why Sasuke is on this mission too?" Sakura asked when she had caught up with the guys.

"Because the Hokage thought that you two need to get used to working with each other." he answered.

"Well, is mine and Sasuke's teamwork that bad?"

"Yes. It's worse than bad. You don't have it at all." he pointed out.

"It's not my fault that he is such a bastard that it's impossible to even talk to him!"

"That's what we are trying to correct." Kakashi sighed knowing that it would be hard considering that he tried to rape her. He might even try to do it again.

Sakura fell silent. She was glad that Kakashi was on the mission too: she had less to fear when he was with her.

"Ok. Lets move to the branches." Kakashi said and they all jumped to the branches.

"We will be crossing the sound country, aren't we?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, we will cross it." Kakashi sighed.

"How are we going to do that without drawing any attention to us?"

"You'll see then."

* * *

**A/N: I know that there wasn't a lot of action in this chapter. But just wait for the next one… This story is going to be longer than I expected, _a lot longer_, so if you have any wishes or anything just leave a review/send a message or e-mail me.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-danax**


	12. Motel in the Sound Country

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Thank you for the awesome reviews! **

**So, as I said before, this story will get A LOT longer than I expected. And I'm gonna put more drama and stuff)… And at least one rape-lemon but that will be on alert. And at least one normal lemon. Hehe. **

**I listened to some songs by _Apocalyptica _while writing this chapter (because I needed to concentrate on the emotions and well, listen to a few songs and you know what I'm talking about.) **

**_Apocalyptica: Fade to Black, Faraway (I love that song!), Hope, Nothing Else Matters, Sad but True and Apocalyptica/HIM/The Rasmus: Bittersweet_**

**Start reading the chapter!**

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* * *

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_This is no good. No good. I'm not gonna be able to sleep at all… I'm gonna die… I know it. There will be no coming back from this mission_, Sakura thought in panic as she looked at the tent which was in front of her just a few meters away from her. She was sitting on the ground next to the camp fire or next to the remains of it and she was throwing rocks from the ground to the woods which surrounded their camp.

Sasuke and Kakashi had set up the tent where they were supposed to sleep in. She was too scared to go in it: she was too scared to be sleeping and being almost completely unaware and helpless when Sasuke was near her. When Kakashi and Sasuke had gone to sleep, she had said that she would come soon too. She had said it over 4 hours ago, she had been gathering strenght.

She sighed when she realized that the sun was getting up. And the guys would be waking up in a few hours. She would not get any sleep at all unless some miracle happened, but in her life, there were no miracles. If they were, the miracles were only bad ones, well if you can say that miracles can be bad.

_This is no good. I really need to go to bed. I really really need to go there. Just take a deep breath. Get up and go there. He can't hurt you when Kakashi's there too_, she thought and got up from the ground.

She started taking small steps towards the tent. She hated herself for being so weak and scared of Sasuke but deep inside she knew that being scared of him was very acceptable but she didn't want to accept that fact. At the same time she thought that the fear of him was a weakness and something that she needed to get rid off.

Her thoughts of Sasuke, made her just hate him more. She wished she had never stood up for him when he had come back.

She got herself in front of the tent and taking a deep breath, she silently entered.

It took a few seconds for her to start seeing something in the dark tent. There were only 3 pillows: it was too hot for sleep in sleeping bags. One pillow which was for her was at the end of the tent, then next to it was sleeping Kakashi and right next to him there was Sasuke. The tent was really small: Sasuke's legs almost touched hers when she was standing right in front of the entrance.

She glanced quickly at Sasuke to make sure he was asleep before she crept to the other side of the small tent. She laid herself next to Kakashi so that she was facing him. But she could not close her eyes: she couldn't let herself to fall asleep. So she let her eyes travel in the tent, from her hands to Kakashi, from Kakashi to Sasuke's sleeping form back to Kakashi.

She watched him for a second and suddenly realized that he was watching her too.

"So you decided to come sleep here." he said really quietly, he didn't want to wake Sasuke up.

"I'm sorry. I just. Well. You know." she whispered never finishing her sentence.

"You're scared?" he asked quietly getting a nod from her.

He put his arm to her back and pulled her closer to him. They were lying on their sides, her face was on his chest, her hands were somehow encircling him and he was holding her. She felt so secure and warm and she knew that Sasuke could not hurt her when she was in Kakashi's arms.

"Thank you." she whispered before falling asleep.

* * *

Kakashi woke up feeling that he was being crushed. Well, he wasn't so wrong about that: Sakura had wrapped her arms around him and squeezing tight, like she was having a horrible nightmare and he was her rescuer. He didn't sense Sasuke's presense in the tent but he was near, which meant that he could start talking normally.

He groaned quietly and started focusing his eye to her. He could only see her pink hair but he knew that something was wrong with her.

_Maybe it is another nightmare_, he thought and decided to wake her up.

"Sakura." he said waking her up.

"Mmmhmm... Uh. Wha? Where am I?" she asked in panic and let go of him. She looked at him with her confused eyes for a moment and then she rolled over to her pillow, she was lying on her stomach and her face was on her pillow.

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"Um. I don't know. Or I don't remember." she sighed.

"Ok."

"I'm so sorry." she suddenly mumbled to the pillow.

"Hm? For what?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to seem so weak. Someone who needs help just to sleep." she kept mumbling to the pillow.

"You're not weak." he sighed.

"Then tell me, why can't I sleep like people usually sleeps." she asked lifting her face from the pillow.

"Because you're afraid."

"And that's a sign of weakness." she sighed.

"It's not weak to be afraid", he said with a stern voice silencing her, "now let's get up. We have to leave and get to the border of Fire country today before nightfall."

"Mmm. Alright." she grinned and got up and got out of the tent.

The first thing she saw was Sasuke sitting next to the camp fire, which made her blood rush and adrenalin run in her body. He just made the day seem worse.

"Sakura. Tell me one thing." he said quickly staring at her.

"What?" she asked with an irritated voice: she was too tired to start speaking with him.

"When you and Kakashi became so close?"

"It's none of your business." she sighed.

"Oh, it is." he almost laughed.

"And why it is? Let's see, you and me, we're not dating. So I cannot be cheating on you. Then you're not my brother so there's no need to start worrying that he's the wrong for me. And you're not my father. Or my mother. You're not even my friend. So, why? Why it is your business?"

"Because, Sakura", he smiled and got up from the ground, "you _are mine_."

"I'm not yours. And I'll never be." she said and took a step backwards.

"What makes you so sure about that?" he asked standing still.

She started to feel more afraid than usually when he was around and they were alone. Her heart started beating faster, her hands were sweating and she felt like her knees would give in soon. She quickly looked at her hands realizing that they were shaking. She hid it by putting her hands behind her back. She felt like he was going to kill her any second and she also knew that if he did it, she wouldn't stand a chance against him.

"Because I don't want to be yours." she said realizing that her mouth was dry.

"Oh Sakura, good girls don't lie. Now tell me. Honestly, what makes you so sure about that?" he smirked. At this point Sakura felt like dying into pure fear, she was scared of him so much and he knew it: he saw it.

"Because I don't want to be yours." she said again with a shaky voice: she would start crying soon.

"Cut it off, Sasuke." Kakashi said, which made Sakura's and Sasuke's head turn to the tent where Kakashi was standing. Sasuke just glared at Kakashi and walked away from the campfire to deeper to the forest.

"Are you alright?" Kakashi asked and walked to Sakura whose body was already shaking.

"I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm. Iamalright." she stammered and tears started rolling down from her cheeks to the ground.

"Sakura. Just breathe", he said wrapping his arms around her, "do you think that you'll be able to leave soon?"

"I-I-I-I—"

"—Ok, take it easy." he said squeezing her a little tighter and trying to stop her body from shaking.

He held her so long that her tears and her shaking stopped.

"Sakura. You'll undo the tent while I'll go and get Sasuke." he said to her.

"A-alright." she said quietly.

"I'll be right back." he whispered and let go of her.

"Ok. Go. We should leave soon." she smiled weakly at him.

* * *

They were leaping from branch to branch and getting closer to the northwest border of the Fire Country. Sasuke was getting more nervous with every second they got closer to the Sound Country.

"Soon we need to change our clothes and continue on walking." Kakashi notified.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because we can't continue on wearing forehead protectors, kunai holsters or anything which points out that we're ninjas."

"But what will you do, Kakashi? How will you hide your Sharingan?" Sakura joined into the conversation.

"By using contact lenses." he laughed.

"Oh, alright." she sighed.

Kakashi looked at Sakura who seemed to be in her own little world of thoughts. Then he looked at Sasuke who was in his own world of nervousness. He realised that the only way to get both of his team mates alive from the mission was to make sure that they did not spend any time together. He also knew that Sakura had to tell Tsunade everything. If Sakura didn't tell Tsunade, she would get tons of missions to complete with Sasuke.

"Alright guys, let's stop here for a sec." Kakashi said and leaped to the ground.

Sighing Sakura leaped to the ground after Sasuke.

"Ok, here's the thing. You do not wear anything which indicates that you're a ninja." Kakashi said.

Sakura just nodded and started walking towards the bushes: she didn't want to change her clothing in front of two men.

She walked behind a huge tree, she put her backpack to the ground and started getting some new clothes from there. She got light blue low waist jeans and a white sleeveless shirt. Quickly she took of her shoes, pants, tank top and her ninja equipment stuffs. She realised that she had only one pair of bra with her, black bra and she could not possibly use them with the white sleeveless shirt so she took her bra off too.

She was getting cold just standing in the woods wearing only panties and socks so she quickly put the clothes on which she had picked for herself. She took a brush from her backpack and opened her hair. She looked at her brush when she remembered the day before the mission talking with Ino:

_FLASHBACK_

_Sakura was packing her stuff to her backpack and making everything ready for the mission. She walked to her nightstand and took her brush from it. _

"_Sakura." Ino said from the doorway to Sakura's room._

"_Hm? What?" she asked and turned around to see her friend._

"_I have an idea." Ino said and went to sit on Sakura's bed._

"_About what?" Sakura asked and sat on the bed too, next to Ino._

"_Well. About pissing Sasuke off." _

"_I like the sound of that, continue." Sakura said with an evil grin on her face._

"_Well. I think that you should show him that you're really with Kakashi." _

"_Oh. Sounds good—! INO! How do you know about me and Kakashi?" _

"_I've seen how he looks at you and how you look at him and I've seen you stealing glances from him and stuff. I'd be stupid if I didn't know."_

"_Oh. But you won't tell anyone?" _

"_No, I won't."_

"_Oh, thank you! Um, the plan?"_

"_Oh yeah, the plan… You remember he almost lost it when he saw your hair open? You told me about it." _

"_He didn't loose it, he just… He just told me that I look amazing." Sakura said like she was ashamed of it._

"_So, open your hair once in a while. Let Kakashi play with it and make sure Sasuke sees it. He's gonna rip his hair out of his head, he's gonna be so pissed." _

"_But."_

"_Hey, what can you loose? Nothing. And if the plan didn't work, you'd make Kakashi happy by letting him know your dark secret, you have long hair." _

"_Hah! And that is a really dark secret."_

"_It could be." Ino laughed._

"_Fine, I'll think about the plan." _

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

She had an evil grin on her face as she took the black silk ribbon from her hair. She put the brush and the ribbon to her backpack. She took a deep breath and messed a bit her hair up, put her stuff to her backpack, took it and walked back to the guys.

Everything was going well until they looked at her. Well, they stared at her, which made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. She saw something new in Kakashi's eye but she was too tired and nervous to start analyzing the way he looked at her.

"Ok, if you don't stop staring now, you're dead." she said with a voice which told the guys that she was almost pissed off.

"Eh, ok, let's get going." Kakashi halfly laughed.

"How will we walk through the Sound Country without drawing any attention?" Sasuke asked and tore his gaze from Sakura.

"We'll rent a motel room for 6-7 hours and we'll walk through the Sound Country at night."

"Shouldn't we get going then?" she asked and received a nod from Kakashi.

* * *

The clock was past 8 pm when they went to a motel. For Sakura, the motel looked really crappy and it made her shiver.

The lobby was tacky: there were red walls, red counter, a few red chairs and the floor was red too. The whole lobby was just red and dirty. She was sure that if she didn't watch out where she walked, she might walk into someone's puke or into a puddle of blood.

She watched as Kakashi walked to the counter and started speaking with the fat guy behind the counter. She felt shivers of disgust go down her spine when the fat guy started staring at her. It didn't help at all when he noticed that her shirt was a bit transparent and she wasn't wearing any bra.

"Excuse me but I'd like to rent a room for 6 hours." Kakashi said knowing exactly what the guy behind the counter was looking; it made him want to kill him.

"For the 3 of you?" the guy asked still staring at her.

"Yes. For the 3 of us for 6 hours." Kakashi said with a frustrated voice. The guy looked at Sakura, then at Sasuke and then at Kakashi. By the look of his face, Sakura thought that he was thinking that they were going to have a threesome for 6 hours. The thought of having a threesome with Sasuke and Kakashi made her shiver of fear.

"12 000 yens." the guy said and started to stare her again.

Kakashi paid the man and got a key for their room. He signed to Sasuke and Sakura to follow him as he started walking to a hallway which was left from the counter.

When she first saw the room, she felt like dying. It had 3 beds, the bed had red silky covers and sheets, the walls were also tacky red and the windows dirty. She didn't even have the courage to look to the bathroom.

She went to sit one of the beds because she felt like fainting from the shock. She let her back fall to the mattress.

"Sakura, are you alright?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, yeah," she answered with a dry throat and continued, "so, what are we gonna do for 6 hours?"

"Sleep, eat, bathe and relax." Kakashi laughed.

"So no intense fucking like the guy from the lobby thought?" she giggled.

"No intense fucking." he laughed and sat to the bed next to Sakura.

"Oh. But I really thought that I could have had some threesome." she said with so girly voice as she could, which made Sasuke choke in his water which he had been drinking. Kakashi started just laughing as Sasuke was coughing like hell.

"Oh well. I'm gonna take a shower and then sleep a bit." she notified and got off from the bed. She took her backpack and walked to the bathroom.

"HOLY SHIT! THAT'S SO FREAKIN DISGUSTING!" she yelled from the bathroom.

"What is?" Kakashi asked and went to the bathroom.

"That!" she said and pointed the bath tub. It was brown even though it had been white and there was a lot of puke and sperm. "I think I'm gonna be sick." with that she ran away from the smelly bathroom.

She sat to the bed and took a deep breath not so smelly air.

"Kakashi. I'll make 2 of your wishes true if you clean the bathroom for me." she sighed.

"Deal." he said coming out of the bathroom.

"Please clean it soon." she sighed again.

"My Kage Bunshins are already working on the bathroom." he notified and sat to a bed which was next to hers.

"That's cheating!"

"No, it is not. The bathroom is going to be cleaned. And I did the Jutsu so basically I'm the one cleaning it." he notified.

"Fine. So what are your wishes?" she asked.

"I have to think about that." he said and took an orange book from his backpack which was next to his bed.

"Would you please stop that!" Sasuke asked yelling.

"Stop what Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

"THAT!" he yelled.

"We can't stop anything we don't know that we're doing." she notified.

"Whatever." Sasuke sighed and went to his bed.

After Kakashi's Kage Bunshins had cleaned the bathroom up from all the puke, shit, sperm and spit Sakura went to take a shower.

She locked the door and looked around her, the bathroom was cleaner and the small window above the bath tub was opened so the air was fresher. She took her clothes off and went to take a hot shower.

The water was first freezing but it got warmer every second 'til it was just perfect. She felt like she was washing her worries away, her tensed muscles relaxed and no one saw her tears which rolled on her cheeks due to the water.

She was so glad that she had taken a travel shampoo and balsam with her to the mission because the bathroom did not have any, not even a regular soap on the sink.

She got off from the shower and took a clean towel from the metal pipe which was holding clean towels. She was so glad that the towels were clean, nothing else wasn't. She dried her skin and put her panties and sleeveless shirt back on. Then she brushed her teeth, took her stuff and walked to her bed.

Sasuke was already sleeping and Kakashi was reading his book on the bed. She smiled at him and crawled under the covers hoping that she would get some sleep without Kakashi's arms around her. But the thought of his arms around her made her want to go to his bed.

Fortunately she fell asleep quickly.

* * *

Sakura woke up feeling that something was pressed to her mouth. She looked around and it was a hand, she needed to blink a few times to realise that it was Sasuke's hand. She looked at her right and saw that Kakashi was sleeping.

Her inner alarm system started to ring bells and show red lights. She felt like her heart refused to beat as he leaned closer to her.

"Be a good girl and don't scream, bite or do anything stupid and it'll hurt less." he whispered huskily.

_Oh god_, she thought in panic when she realised what he was talking about.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for leaving the story like this.. But I'll update soon. Hopefully. I'll try to update before the Friday but I'm not gonna promise anything! **

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME YOUR OPINON 'BOUT THE STORY! **

**-danax **


	13. In the Lightning Country

**Thank you for the awesome reviews! Here's the chapter written especially for you! **

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_Oh god. Oh god. Oh god_, Sakura thought in panic as Sasuke was still pressing his hand to her mouth. Her mind was trying to figure out ways to wake Kakashi up or to escape but she didn't figure out any, which made her panic even more.

His other hand grabbed her hands. He pulled her roughly from the bed, which made her stumble a bit but his tight grip to her hands prevented her from falling down to the floor. He started dragging her to the bathroom.

Her hands and arms began to hurt because he was so rough.

Tears started rolling down from her cheeks when she realised that there was no escape. He pushed her to the bathroom and he did it so hard that she hit the wall and slid to the floor leaving a trace of blood to the wall.

"Get up." he whispered angrily sending shivers of disgust down her spine. She was too scared to get up but she was also too scared to disobey him. She tried to get up but her knees gave in and she fell back to the floor.

"Sakura, you're pathetic." he whispered and pulled her roughly from the floor.

"Shut up." she hissed, she had gained some will power for somewhere to resist him.

"Excuse me?"

"I said shut up. You're the pathetic here: you obviously can't get a girl 'cept raping her and that's pathetic. Even Naruto is able to get a girl—" her sentence was cut off by him hitting her to her face, just under her eye on the cheek. It felt like her eye was going to explode, which made more tears come out of her eyes.

The next thing she noticed was that she was pushed to the wall by him. He pressed himself against her and kissed her hard, making her lower lip bleed. She could taste her own blood in her mouth. He took some of her hair in his hand and he pulled making her whimper and moving her head a bit. He bit her to her neck making it also bleed.

Pure fear crept in her when she realised that he was trying to take her panties off of her.

_I need to do something_, she thought in panic hoping that she could freeze the time for a second or two. Then she realised that her hands were free which meant that she could still struggle and win some time.

She took a deep breath and chakra strings were coming from her right hand, fast they wrapped themselves around Sasuke's neck. He stopped trying to take her panties off. He lifted his gaze to meet hers. She could see that it started to get hard to breathe for him.

She had total control over the strings because they were coming from a chakra point in her body and her chakra control was better than awesome. She made the strings wrap themselves a bit tighter around his neck. With her left hand, she pushed him away from her. Fast she moved her right hand to her left and her hand hit the wall but Sasuke hit the wall too cracking it a bit. She moved her hand again this time to her right hitting the wall but she used more power and at the right time she cut the chakra strings. Sasuke flew right through the wall.

Sighing she looked from the hole he had made to the wall to see that he was unconscious and Kakashi had woken up. She correct her panties and walked to the sink.

"What the hell is happening here!" Kakashi yelled.

She started washing her face and trying not to touch her cheek because it hurt.

"Sakura!" Kakashi yelled from the doorway. She stopped washing her face, lifted her head up from the sink and turned to look at him.

"What—? Happened?" he asked and went closer to her. She realised that the blood wasn't all gone because his voice had softened.

"Nothing happened."

"Then why are you bleeding and shaking?" he asked and took an unused hankie from his pocket. She hadn't even realised that she was shaking.

Kakashi was fully clothed, which meant that he had slept his clothes on. He pressed the unused hankie to her neck which was bleeding much.

"Because!" she said not wanting to tell him what had really happened.

"What happened to Sasuke?"

"He flew through the wall." she said and licked her lower lip which was still bleeding.

"Why he flew through the wall?"

"Because! He tried to - And then I needed to something! And I was just really scared and I needed to do something!" she cried and her knees gave in again but he caught her before she landed to the floor.

"He didn't try to—"

"—Don't say the word. I don't want to hear it." she cried.

"So he—"

"—Yes!" she said and started crying harder.

"Take some paper and go sit onto a bed. I'll go check how Sasuke's doing." he said and gave more hankies to her.

* * *

The clock was past 3 am when they were able to leave the hotel. Kakashi had made Sakura and Sasuke pay the wall, both paid half of it even though it wasn't fair towards Sakura but he had had no other choice. 

They walked through the Sound Country at night in the shadows. Not many people saw them and if they did, they just thought that Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke were looking for some bar.

Once in a while Kakashi glanced at Sakura. She looked alright, she had healed her face and she had taken 2 tranquilizers and some antidepressants. But he knew that healing her broken cheekbone, her lip and her neck and taking a few pills didn't make the actual problem go away. She would have to keep seeing her therapist.

Once in a while he also glanced at Sasuke. He had had a concussion and a few broken bones but Sakura had healed him when he had still been unconscious. He knew that he would have to talk with Sasuke later, when they would reach their destination.

"Kakashi." Sakura said quickly.

"Hm? What?"

"When we reach our destination. Can I go to a shop, really quickly?"

"What do you need from a shop?"

"You really don't want to know." she said thinking about tampons and painkillers.

"Well, is it absolutely necessary?"

"Yes!"

"Alright then."

"Thanks Kakashi!" she smiled to him.

_The antidepressants seem to be working well_, he thought as he looked at her smiling to him.

* * *

They travelled for 10 hours to get through the Sound country then through a country which was independent from all the ninja villages and to reach their destination at the Lightning Country. 

They were all quite exhausted from the trip but also happy because the hotel which was booked for them wasn't far and they had free room service. They would also meet a few other ninjas from Konoha because the hotel they used was highly respected amongst ninjas. The whole top floor of the hotel was for ninjas from Konoha.

Sakura looked around her: there were a lot of shops and small stands and a lot of people, all walking to somewhere and looking really busy. The only sight of the people made her exhaustion vanish and then at the same time, it made her more exhausted. Then she looked up, seeing really tall buildings which made her dizzy.

"Sakura." Kakashi said.

"What?" she asked still looking at the tall buildings.

"You can now go to the shop." he said, which made her turn her attention to him.

"Um. I'll get lost here." she whispered like it was a big secret.

"No you won't. Now look, at the right there's a grocery shop and some clothing shops and at the left, there, there is our hotel." he said pointing the places.

"Oh. Alright." she smiled.

"You have 45 minutes. In the mean time I'll go with Sasuke to the hotel room and eh, we have a little talking to do. But feel free to do some _aggressive _shopping for 45 minutes."

"Oh, alright. I'll see you guys later." she said and watched as Kakashi and Sasuke went into their hotel.

_I have 45 minutes time for shopping. I'm not really that kind of person who buys a lot of stuff. But I do need some new clothes. And this city is bigger than Konoha, so I guess I can find new clothes better from here than from Konoha… **Alright! Where's the ATM? **_

She took a deep breath and walked to the nearest ATM and getting some money, her inheritance money. She had no idea how much she had inherited money and she didn't want to know, because the amount would just make her faint. She decided to take 50 000 yens knowing that it was a large amount of money but she needed to do some shopping and she didn't have any money at her wallet at the moment. Her mother had always said that always there should be some money in the wallet, just in case. **(a/n: 340 EUR or 431 USD) **

She went to the nearest pharmacy and bought more antidepressants, tranquilizers, painkillers and sleeping pills. She would need them during the mission and she would need them badly.

She ended up buying a few pairs of black sweatpants, a few tank tops: one black, one white and one pink, some new undergarments like bras which weren't black and she also bought a small present for Kakashi.

_Meanwhile…_

Kakashi had been yelling at Sasuke for some time and he looked like he didn't even listen. He was sitting on a chair which was in the living room of their suite.

"Sasuke, tell me exactly what happened at last night." Kakashi said.

"Nothing."

"That's not what Sakura told me." he said, Sakura had told him or he had guessed but how he knew was not the point in Sasuke's and Kakashi's conversation.

"That bitch lies a lot." Sasuke sighed.

"Wrong. She doesn't lie a lot and she is not a bitch."

"Whatever you say. Whatever you say."

"You know that I have the authority to send you back to Konoha at this moment? The mission comes first, you know that. Now, if I even suspect that you're going to do something which I haven't given a permission, you'll go straight to Konoha and Tsunade gets to know all about your nightly wandering near Sakura's bed."

"Would you tell her? Even if you promised Sakura that you wouldn't?"

"Yes." he lied wondering how he knew or had he just guessed it right.

"Hn."

"From now on I expect you to show more respect to your team mates who are _equal _here."

"Hn."

"Now go and read the scroll I placed on your bed."

"Hn."

Kakashi sighed and sat on a barstool. He had thought that Sasuke was cleverer than that, it was like he just had to be rude to everyone, Kakashi himself, Jiraya, Tsunade and towards all the other ninjas who were older than him.

He didn't have the time to start analyzing all the possible choices for Sasuke's behaviour when he heard the door being opened and closed.

"I'm back!" Sakura yelled happily. "Oh holy shit! This suite is AWESOME!"

"Sakura! I'm here." he laughed and she came to the room.

"Oh wow. I've never been in a hotel like this!" she said and looked around with widened jade eyes.

"You'll get used to this."

"I hope not", she said looking at him, "because then the meaning of glamour would just fade away. And I would feel less like a princess when I came like this kind of a hotel."

"You're quite right. What did you buy?" he asked looking at all of her shopping bags.

"Just some stuff. Hey! I have something for you!" she said and started searching something from a huge black bag. Then she took this gift wrapped packet and gave it to him.

"What is this?" he asked looking at the gift.

"It's just something I had to buy for you. But I promise, it's not a book." she laughed.

He took the gift wrapping off and it was an Icha Icha Paradise DVD and it was a special edition. He went silent.

"You'd better like that because I had to beat up an old lady with a cat to get that!" she laughed.

"Sakura." he whispered.

"What? You can always return it and get something else in return." she sighed.

"No. I do like this. But, this is the first time someone buys me a gift when it's not my birthday. Thank you, Sakura." he said still looking at the DVD.

"Aww! You're welcome", she said and went to hug him, "Heh. But I'll go now and take a hot bath. Or when our mission starts?"

"Tomorrow maybe. It depends when Haruka gets here. First she will give you all the information about the guy who you'll be hanging out with the next week and he will give you more information about your target." he explained after she had twisted herself from his arms.

"Um. I'm going to hang out with a guy for the next week?"

"Yes. He's Shido and you'd better make him happy because if you do, you'll get very glamorous missions."

"Make him happy?"

"Yes, he has to like you before he will request another person assassinated by you."

"Does he like people?"

"Oh, he likes people. But he hates women. Actually, he despises women."

"Why?"

"That's something you have to ask from Shido himself."

"Well, is he even handsome?"

"I can't answer to that. I'm a man you know."

"Ok, I'll go and find the bathroom now."

* * *

Sakura was in the bathtub which was filled with hot water, pink rose petals and pink bath foam. She was blowing soap bubbles to all around the room and she was giggling every now and then about something. 

Then she heard a knock on the door. Before answering she checked that nothing of her body was visible because of the pink foam.

"Come in!" she partly laughed and partly yelled. She saw as the door got opened and Kakashi came in and closed the door.

"What are you doing here?" she giggled.

"I want to talk to you." he said looking around all the soap bubbles.

"Um. I'm bathing now, and you want to talk to me?"

"How many antidepressants did you take today?" he asked and sat down to the floor.

"4."

"And how many you were supposed to take?"

"2."

"Sakura."

"I couldn't help it. I just don't want to feel like shit all the time!"

"What are the side effects?"

"I might feel sick later and get just some minor headaches but nothing more."

"Ok."

"Hey, I have one question for you." she said and blew more soap bubbles.

"Ask me."

"Why is this hotel respected amongst many, many ninjas?"

"Because The Lightning Country and the Hidden Village of Cloud are very respected ninja country and ninja village."

"But that makes no sense. We're basically on a mission at the Hidden Village of Cloud's territory and they're like, glad to have us here or something."

"The Raikage knows that we're here and our employer, Shido, is basically working under the Raikage."

"I still don't get it." she said with a frustrated voice.

"Sakura, me neither." he grinned.

* * *

Sakura was sitting on her bed which was in Kakashi's room in the suite. She refused to sleep alone and he refused to let her sleep alone. She had ordered some food from the room service and she was eating on the bed. 

She heard that someone came to their suite. She thought that it was just Kakashi.

"Kakashi, I'm here!" she yelled happily and drank some of her herbal tea.

She heard some steps coming towards the room and the next thing she noticed was a tall man on the doorway, he had long blue-greyish hair and grey eyes and otherwise, he was very handsome.

"Um. Hello." she said staring at the guy.

"Are you from Konoha?" he asked and stared at her back, his eyes filled with anger or disapproval or something.

"Yeah."

"Are you in Hatake Kakashi's team?"

"Yeah."

"Are you Haruno Sakura?"

"Yeah."

"Is your hair color real or fake? I despise women who dye their hair all the time."

"It's real." she said wondering if the guy in front of her was Shido.

"Are you wearing contact lenses? I despise women who wear contact lenses to cover their real eye color."

"I'm not wearing contact lenses." she said smiling although she was a bit offended by his questions.

"So, what is your lousy excuse?" he asked and sat on a chair which was placed near the doorway of the room.

"Lousy excuse for what?"

"Why are you not wearing any make-up, dress and high heels like the women I usually meet?"

"Because I don't use make-up, I don't own a dress and I hate high heels."

"Hm. So, what was your first time like? I despise women who have had a glamorous and romantic first time."

"I don't know how it is your business but I was raped." she said and was getting more annoyed with his every question.

"Oh. Well. Are you a Chuunin? I despise women whose rank is lower than Jounin."

"I'm Jounin at the moment."

"Stop scaring the young girl!" some woman yelled at the guy from the doorway.

"Excuse me, Haruka, but I _DESPISE _women who speak when they are not told to speak!" the guy yelled at the woman who apparently was Haruka.

Sakura looked at Haruka. She looked very simple, she had quite short black hair, brown eyes and a bit freckles on her face under her eyes and on her nose.

"Well, excuse me, Shido, but I have a job to do and if you have a problem with that, why won't you go and get a whore and tell her how much you _despise _whores!" Haruka yelled to him.

"Gosh you're so right, I _despise _whores." Shido sighed.

"Now what do you want that we do to this girl? Will we go through the whole process?" Haruka asked looking at Sakura.

"Yes." he sighed and walked out from the room.

"I think he likes you." Haruka laughed.

"Huh?"

"He usually is very irritated when I even have to ask if we have to go through the whole process. And apparently, he has found only one thing which he can despise in you."

"Huh?"

"You're a woman. He _despises _women."

"I eh, noticed."

* * *

**A/N: Gosh, I just love Shido. Heh. Well, you'll get to learn more of him in future chapters.. Next update will be um.. Probably before next Friday but I won't promise anything. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**-danax**


	14. Answers

**Sorry for the late update but I deleted the start of this chapter like 5 times and.. Well, I'm never happy with this chapter. Heh. **

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO SADNESS.SORROW! Grattis på födelsedagen!**

**Songs I listened while writing this chapter:**

**Utada Hikaru: Kremlin Dusk, Exodus '04, About me, Let Me Give You My Love, Hotel Lobby, Tippy Toe, Animato, Wonder 'Bout**

**

* * *

**

Kakashi, Sasuke, Sakura, Haruka and Shido were in the living room part of the glorious suite. Kakashi had said that he needed to talk to them after he had received a phone call from Konoha, from the Hokage.

Getting a call from the Hokage during some mission meant that something big had happened or there would be some change of plans. Either way, Haruka and Shido weren't thrown out of the room because Tsunade had wanted that they hear the news or change of plans too.

Sakura was sitting on a loveseat next to Haruka who was writing some things in her small calendar. Shido was leaning on the wall with closed eyes but everyone knew that he was listening because he said something every now and then to prove it. Sasuke was sitting on a couch which was facing the loveseat where Sakura and Haruka were sitting while a light brown coffee table lay between them. Kakashi was just standing at the right end of the room blocking the way to the hallway.

"There is a small change of plans", Kakashi notified but continued, "our mission here will be a bit longer because the Raikage is throwing a banquet for the now 2 years long peace. Every Kage will be there. Their apprentices will be there. All the feudal lords will be there. And most of all, almost every Jounin ninja will be there. The Hokage wants us to make connections, she wants Sakura to be by her side when she's meeting old friends, Kages and some feudal lords and so on."

"How long will this mission last now?" Sakura asked quickly.

"3 weeks."

"So we need to get right on the first mission. Or you need. Well actually it's _we_ need." Shido yawned.

"Then if you have nothing against it, I'm taking Sakura with me now", Haruka said and got up from the loveseat," Sakura, let's go."

"Oh, ok." she answered and got up from her seat.

She watched as Haruka grinned and then waved her to follow her. Haruka lead her out of the room.

"Sasuke. Your part of the mission has changed too." Kakashi said looking at Sasuke.

"Huh?"

"We're going to assist Naruto. He's at the town with his team."

"He cannot be the leader of the team." Sasuke growled.

"He is."

* * *

"So, what is this whole process thing?" Sakura asked as she followed Haruka to a tall building. 

"Well, we're going to make you… um, better for Shido. Because he has to be able to be with you for one week."

"Has to be able to be with me?"

"Yes, sometimes he despises the ninjas so bad that he doesn't want to see them or work with them."

"Oh." she sighed.

"You'll learn which words to use with him, you'll learn to make him less irritated and so on." Haruka said smiling.

"Oh." the pink haired girl said. She didn't actually reply to Haruka's answer, she was so stunned from the place they had gone. It was a huge hall and it had cream colored walls and white stone floors that could've been marble; it was like a palace or something.

"Don't get too excited now. This is just the main hall." Haruka smiled to her.

"Oh." Sakura sighed and kept walking but every now and then she stopped to look at some huge painting on the wall or some woman in glorious dress or something else as glorious.

Haruka led her through many huge halls which got more glorious by every minute. It was all so new and foreign to her, Sakura had never been in such place. Then Haruka stopped in front of a huge white door.

"What? Why did we stop?" Sakura asked.

"Take a deep breath." she grinned.

"What? Why?" but before Sakura could take a deep breath the huge white door was opened and she was pulled in to the huge hall.

She sensed many presences near her, she was being pushed to the other side of the room and then she was sat down. Then the pain came. Someone started plucking out her eye brows with a pair of tweezers as someone else was putting some cold stuff to her face and some other person was taking the cold stuff from her face. It was all too confusing to her. Especially when she realized that she had slices of cucumbers on her eyes.

"Haruka?" Sakura asked behind tears, the plucking made her eyes become watery.

"I'm here." she answered from somewhere near.

"What is this?"

"Those are Shido's assistants. You need to be perfect."

"Fine. Can you get me some vodka?"

"Hahah! You're on a mission, so no, but how 'bout some tea?"

"Whatever."

Sakura lost her sense of time. There was always someone tugging her hair, someone pinching her and some other person doing something to her face. She hated it, it made her scream in pain and then someone would say: "My dear girl, beauty hurts. Get used to it."

_Meanwhile…_

Kakashi and Sasuke went into a large building which looked like it was abandoned many years ago. From the inside, the building was very dirty and dusty. The furniture was covered with white dusty sheets, all the dark corners had spider webs and more dust. There were broken things on the floor like plates, pieces of clothing, glass, old torn pictures and beer cans.

They went to the second floor of the building. It was quiet but they both knew that there were people in the building, Naruto's team was there, but they didn't know if there were others who they would have to take down before finding Naruto.

Kakashi took a kunai from his pocket. He knew that there were a lot of traps in the building and they would me most likely kunai showers. He would be prepared to stop the kunais with his one kunai.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said quietly.

"I know." he answered preparing himself for an attack.

A figure jumped from the shadows on top of Sasuke. Kakashi spun around to see that it was just Naruto.

"Dope. Get off of me." Sasuke said with a warning in his voice. For Sasuke's and Kakashi's surprise, Naruto did get off of Sasuke and said nothing.

"Where's Sakura?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"She's with Shido and his assistants." Kakashi said.

"Oh."

"You'll see her later Naruto", Kakashi said and looked around, "where others are?"

"I'll show you. Come." Naruto said lead them to the room where everyone else was.

* * *

Sakura had escaped from all the assistants and from Haruka. Now she was sitting on a bathroom fall and crying. It was too much, people wanted too much from her: they wanted her to be someone she wasn't. But she wasn't ready to give up. It would just mean that Sasuke had gotten the best of her. So she decided to fight, with everything she had.

She took a small packet from the pocket of her jeans. There were 6 pills, 3 antidepressants and 3 painkillers. She took 2 antidepressants and one painkiller and swallowed them at the same time without water.

She took a deep breath, put the packet of pills back to her pocket and dried her tears. She gathered her fighting spirit and got out of the bathroom thinking how she would never give up, well at least not in this mission.

"Ok guys! She's back! We're late from the schedule!" Haruka yelled to everyone.

_Oh no_, was Sakura's last thought before it started all over again. She was being dragged, plucked, undressed, waxed, her hair was being raped by some horrible brush and someone was trying to get her lips bleeding by brushing them.

_I hate this. Help._

"Haruka." she said even though someone was brushing her lips with some painfully hard brush.

"Yeah?"

"How long is this going to last?" she asked behind tears.

"15 minutes anymore. Then you'll get a massage and bikini waxed." Haruka said with a sweet voice.

_Oh god no._

"And after then?"

"You'll most likely spend some time with Shido."

"When I'm gonna learn how to have a conversation with him?"

"When you're being massaged."

"Gah."

* * *

Many hours later when Sakura had gone the whole process, she walked slowly back to their suite. Walking hurt her.

The day had been the worst in her life, the most painful. Well, at the moment it felt like the day had been the worst but then she realized that the day wasn't even over yet.

"Sakura. Why are you walking like that?" Kakashi asked as he saw Sakura walking to the bathroom.

"Take one GODDAMN bikini wax and you'll know why!" she screamed and vanished to the bathroom.

She took her jeans and shirt off and sat to the floor. She looked at all her scars on her thighs and hands and started removing the scars. Because she knew that she might have to use a dress with no long sleeves to cover her hands and she had answered to too many questions about the scars on her thighs already. She was too tired to start thinking about how to hide scars. Besides, she could always make new ones.

"Sakura." she could hear his voice from the other side of the door.

"What?" she asked.

"Shido's here. And."

"And what?" she asked.

"Are you cutting..? You know?"

"No, I'm not. Don't worry", she said, "but thanks for caring."

Suddenly everything seemed to be better. Was it because she realized that he cared or just that he had showed her the affection her heart and soul was dying to have, she didn't know.

"Hey, do you know where Sasuke is?" she asked suddenly hoping that he had heard him.

"Yes. It's confidential information. But he won't be here for 4 days at least."

"Oooh. So we have the suite for ourselves? Just you and me?"

"Yes, Sakura, just you and me."

Smiling she healed the rest of her scars and put her clothes on.

_Maybe life is getting better from this shit._

When she walked out of the bathroom, she was greeted by Shido who was holding a white box.

"Here", he said and handed the box over to her, "go get changed and then we'll leave."

Then it hit her. There had to be a dress in the box. She had not worn dresses since the day Sasuke had tried to rape her for the first time. But she forced a grateful smile on her face and she vanished to the bedroom she shared with Kakashi.

She opened the box and there was a black dress, 50 percent of the fabric was silk and the other 50 was something else which made the fabric a bit stiffer. It was strapless, knee length and it had quite narrow pink ribbon circling the area a few centimetres (like one inch or something) under her breasts. She had to admit that the dress was gorgeous. Then she noticed shoes in the box too, they weren't high heels, the shoes looked more like ballerina shoes except they were meant for walking and they were black and strapless.

She changed her clothes and opened her hair hoping that she would be good enough for… For _everyone_.

She peeked into a mirror and realized in panic that she was wearing make-up. She never wore make-up. She killed Shido's assistants mentally before coming from the bedroom.

"Hm. Let's go." Shido said and walked out from the suite as soon as he had seen her.

"What the hell did just happen?" she asked from herself.

"I have no idea but you look beautiful." Kakashi said from beside her, apparently he thought that she had pointed the question to him.

"Oh what? NoIdon't!" she said blushing and ran from the suite.

"Oh, yes you do." Kakashi notified to the empty suite.

* * *

Shido took Sakura to see an opera, which was way too new for her. They were sitting on the second floor on their benches and waiting for the show to start.

"Have you ever been in an opera before?" he asked.

"Can't say I have." she smiled.

"Take these", he said and handed a pair of small binoculars, "and look there." He pointed one seat exactly in front of them on the other side of the hall.

"Um. Ok. I see a man. He looks like you." she said.

"Yes. He's your target. You'll kill him and get a scroll from him which he keeps in his left chest pocket."

"Ok. When I am to do that?"

"The day after tomorrow, after dining with me in a restaurant. You'll seduce him and kill him."

"Alright. Anything else I need to know about him?"

"He's my brother, be cruel."

"What?" she asked. She felt like everyone had some kind of trouble with their brothers. She hated it because if she had a brother, he'd most likely be her best friend or something.

"He betrayed my father, the Raikage. He joined the Akatsuki. And he can get all the information he wants from our country and I can't let that happen. But also, I can't kill him myself because he knows that I know about him. And his weakness is beautiful women so, I think that this mission is not going to be too hard for you."

"Alright but what am I going to do for the next week? Because we were given 2 weeks and the day after tomorrow it's only been just under one week."

"No. The 2 weeks were the maximum time you can spend here. And now that the plans have been changed. I'll teach you to dance tango and use high heels for the banquet."

"You'll teach me to wear high heels? You have to be kidding with me." she laughed and put the binoculars to her laps.

"No I'm not. You see Sakura, I'm a woman born in man's body."

"What? No way!"

"Yes."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You already did but ask."

"Are you dating anyone?" she asked quietly knowing that it was a question which should not be asked from Shido.

"No. I can't. Because I'm woman, born in man's body and I happen to be lesbian or bisexual, well bisexual but I do prefer women. But I can't date because I despise women too much. And I can't date men because I despise gays."

"But in your own words, you _are_ a woman." she said silencing Shido.

"Interesting thought. So you're saying that I wouldn't be gay then?"

"Yes."

"You know what, Sakura?"

"Um, what?"

"I think that I like you." he smiled. It was the first smile she had ever seen from him.

"Oh thank you. But I'm already taken. I think. Most likely I am. It's complicated. Maybe."

"What kind of relationship it is if you're not sure if you're dating or not."

"Well, see, that's the point. I have no idea. It started with friendship and continued on to the kissing stage but I have no idea if we're actually dating." she sighed.

"Ask him. It's a he, right?"

"It's he. Don't worry. I'm a woman, born in woman's body and I happen to be straight."

"Are you making fun of me?" he laughed.

"Oh no! I would never!" she laughed too.

"Good." he said with a serious tone. But before Sakura could answer, the show started.

The opera was about losing someone you care for and getting the someone back by breaking all the laws that existed. She loved that opera: it reminded her how she hadn't lost everyone around her like the main character in the opera.

* * *

When Sakura returned to the suite, the clock was already past midnight and she was completely worn out.

Quietly she walked into the bedroom and took her clothes off and went to sleep next to Kakashi. The truth was that she didn't want to sleep alone in her twin bed. So she figured that in Kakashi's twin bed would have enough room for the both of them.

"It's late." he said suddenly.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up." she apologized.

"You didn't."

"Oh good. Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?"

"Define our relationship. Is this something casual or are we dating or what is this?"

He was quiet for a moment and he kissed her on the lips. He let his tongue slip in her mouth when she opened her mouth in surprise. She got over soon over the surprise and let her hands play his hair while they were kissing.

"I think that was an answer enough." he smiled in the dark when he had broken the kiss.

"Yeah, I think so too."

"Oh bugger."

"What?"

"I was hoping that you wouldn't have because then I would've got another reason to kiss you." he laughed.

"Do you need a reason to kiss me? Seriously?"

"Good question, let's see." he smiled and kissed her again.

* * *

**A/N: I hate this chapter so much! But just because I wrote it so many times. Well, I actually wrote the start so many times but well, anyways… Please review! **

**-danax**


	15. Familiar face in the restaurant

**Disclaimer: Ella omistaa kaiken. Jopa Kakashin. Mwahahahah! Ok, I'll take that back, I was just lying. I own nothing! Besides, Kakashi is _SAKURA'S_!**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! And sorry for the late update but the…. SCHOOL started… Heh, well thank god there isn't gonna be another test week soon at least.**

**This chapter is more like a filler chapter…**

**This chapter is dedicated to Kyuubitch! Happy Birthday!  
**

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She had been trying to get off of the bed for almost an hour but every time she was able to almost get off of it, his hand just wrapped itself more protectively around her. It was irritating, dreamy, loving and incredibly nice. She loved it and she hated it. She knew that he was awake and she knew that he knew that she knew.

Since Sakura was lying on her left side and her back was against his, it would've been easy just to roll over from the bed to the floor and take him with her but she just loved his arm around her too much so she gave up.

His jaw found its way to the crook of her neck and his other hand found its way around her.

_I need to get up. But I don't wanna!_ she cried in her thoughts.

She decided to close her eyes, just for a moment because she wanted to remember how it feels like… To be in his arms…

Kakashi opened his eyes as he realised that she had fallen asleep. He took a deep breath realising that she didn't smell like Pakkun's fur anymore, it smelled like lemons. Pakkun's fur had smelled like fresh apples, not lemons.

He reached over a bit to see a bit of her face, to him she looked angelic and he could not understand how she could've experienced the wrongness no one should experience. He lightly touched her cheek and brushed a few locks of her hair away her face.

A small sigh escaped her lips: she was starting to wake up once again. He felt her hands on his which were on her lower stomach. She turned her head a bit and started blinking.

"You prevented me from getting up earlier." she said quietly with a sleepy voice.

"Yeah." he murmured to her neck, which sent shivers down her spine.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to get up." he murmured again to her neck and this time the shivers she got were eh, stronger. He kissed her neck lightly and said: "Then get up now, I won't stop you."

"I don't wanna." she sighed.

"I knew it." he grinned and quickly got off of the bed.

"Hey!" she tried to yell but her voice was morning-hoarse.

"I get to go to the shower first." he laughed and vanished from the room.

"That's not fair!"

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When Kakashi came back from the shower he saw that she was reading the newspaper in the kitchen part of the suite. Her elbows were on the newspaper and she kind of leaned forward to read the paper.

He crept behind her and when he put his hands on her shoulders, she screamed, which made him laugh.

"Never let your guard down." he said when she had stopped screaming.

"I am _with you _for god's sake! I trust you take care of all the bad guys!" she yelled, her back was still facing him but she had turned a little to see him. Then she realised that he was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, she forgot why she had been yelling at him in the first place. She blushed and turned quickly to face the newspaper.

"Sakura?"

"Um. I'm going to take a shower in a minute." she said not even thinking.

"Sakura, are you alright?"

"Yeah." she mumbled and tried to read the newspaper but she couldn't see: the image of Kakashi was stuck in her mind and it was making breathing a bit harder.

She shook her head a bit trying to get the image of him and his muscular chest and abdomen out of her head. It really wasn't like her, she had not been herself since, since she was 17.

She turned her head and she was about to say something but he had already left. She sighed and continued reading the newspaper when every now and then an image of him flashed through her mind.

Then she saw an article telling about the Akatsuki. The more she read the article, the more questions she got.

When she had finished reading the article she yelled to Kakashi: "Kakashi! The Akatsuki is here! In the Lightning Country!"

"Sakura, I know." he said from the hallway which was on her left side.

"You know? But how?"

"It's confidential information." he sighed and came to sit next to her.

"Just tell me." she said and turned to look at him.

"Sakura I—"

"—I know you can tell me, you just don't want to. Every piece of confidential information is something a ninja can reveal when it has an effect to the mission." she said with a stern voice.

"Naruto's team is here. And they have been spying on the Akatsuki from some time now." he sighed.

"You knew and you didn't tell me?" she asked with a disappointed voice.

"Yes. Sasuke knew too."

"Why was I the only one who didn't know anything?"

"I'm not—"

"—Allowed to say anything." she sighed and turned her head back to the newspaper.

"Sakura, don't be mad. We're ninjas for god's sake."

"I know. God, I don't know why I am mad anymore." she sighed and smiled a bit to him.

"That's good." he grinned and leaned to her to hug her.

"Shido won't be here for two hours." she mumbled to his neck.

"Sakura?"

"We could order something nice from the room service and eat on the bed." she kept mumbling.

"Sounds like a plan." he laughed and picked her up from her chair and carried her to the bedroom while she was laughing her head off.

-----------------------------------------------

Naruto spread a lot of papers, maps and general layout drawings to the table in front of Sasuke. They were about some huge mansion.

"How do we get in?" Naruto asked handing a red pencil to Sasuke.

"There are a lot of underground tunnels which leads to the house but they are secured quite well, there are also a few backdoors and the front door. The windows are out of the question except if we use one of the _girls_' rooms' windows. They'll keep their mouth shut." he explained and drew some circles and lines to one of the general layout drawings.

"How do we know that you're not lying to us?" Neji asked quickly from the back of the room where he had been leaning to the wall.

"Hokage decides if you trust me or not. But I don't see a lot of other options than trusting me."

--------------------------------------------

Shido had dragged Sakura and Kakashi to eat lunch. Sakura was sitting right next to Kakashi and right in front of Shido.

Shido had ordered a salad for Sakura who usually did not eat salads unless forced to eat them and he had ordered sukiyaki.

"Sakura. Look to your left." Shido said quickly and she did as told to.

She saw the man who apparently was Shido's brother. He was 20 meters (21 yards) away in the other side of the restaurant. He was wearing a suit and there was a katana strapped to his back.

"I see him." she said still looking at the guy.

"He'll be in this restaurant later today at 9 pm. Tomorrow at 13 pm and 9 pm. And tomorrow, you'll kill him." he said and drank some of his white wine he had ordered.

"And how I do it is however I want to?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything else?" she asked drawing her gaze from the man who she was supposed to kill.

"He has a scroll. And I need it. If you get the scroll for me, I'll double your pay." he whispered.

"Ok. Where does he keep it?" she asked.

"In his safe."

"And the code to open it is?"

"I don't know." Shido laughed.

_Ok, this mission just got a little harder for me…_

"Well then. I'll go powder my nose or something." she notified and left to the ladies room.

_I never say: I'll go powder my nose. I never powder my nose. **Mwah!** Oh it's you. Be gone! **Nu-huh. I have a secret! **That's really nice, vanish! **You don't want to hear it? **No. I don't. **You're stupid!**_

She watched her face from the mirror in the ladies room and sighed. She looked so different than a few days ago and she blamed Shido's assistants for it.

She washed her face with cold water and dried it with some paper towel from the wall. She took a few antidepressants from her pocket and swallowed them without using water.

_Get a grip_, she thought as she put the bottle of pills back to her pocket.

She took a deep breath, counted to ten and left the ladies room. When she had taken a few steps outside from the ladies room, she realised that Sky was a few meters away from her, his back facing her and he was talking to Shido's brother. She knew that it was Sky because he was tall, he had short brown hair and he was talking to some member of Akatsuki. And his presence was still as luring as always.

_Oh god!_ she thought in panic and walked back to the ladies room.

When she got in, she wasn't so sure what to do because she couldn't just walk out of the ladies room and back to her table because Sky would see her and she couldn't stay in the ladies room forever.

_Think Sakura, think! _

Her head was empty. No thoughts well, not reasonable thoughts at least. Unconsciously she started walking in weird circles around the ladies room as she tried to figure out a plan to do something. Fortunately for her, the ladies room was empty.

She felt a presence coming towards the ladies room so she went in to a WC and waited.

**_You could always just get out of this ladies room and walk towards the table where Kakashi and Shido would be. And they would notice you. And if Sky noticed you… It wouldn't matter anymore because Kakashi would be protecting you in no time._ **_...You're right... _

She got out from the WC and then from the ladies room. Sky was still there. She calmed herself and started walking towards the table, as Inner Sakura had said, Kakashi noticed her and he noticed Sky. She saw his hand going to where his kunai holster would be but since he was wearing civilian clothes, he did not have it.

She felt like someone was burning two holes into her neck and she knew that it was just Sky staring at her. But before she knew it, she was back at the table.

"I'm back." she fake-smiled.

"Finally. You were gone for 15 minutes." Shido sighed.

"That long? I'm so sorry." she said.

"I think we should leave." Kakashi said quickly joining into the conversation.

"What? Why?" Shido asked starting at Kakashi.

"Because my ex is here and Kakashi knows that I hate to see him." she said lying a bit.

"What? Who?" Shido asked.

"The guy who is talking to your brother." she whispered.

"Oh that. He's walking here." Shido said and she could see how he tried to hold his laugh.

Sakura's hand found Kakashi's, she had a need to feel safe and she always felt safe around Kakashi but she felt safer when he was touching her.

For Sakura's and Kakashi's surprise, Sky didn't stop at their table: he continued to the exit.

"Now you don't have to go." Shido laughed.

"I guess." she sighed.

"Finish that salad." Shido said suddenly with a stern voice.

"Whatever." she sighed knowing that there was no point in arguing with Shido.

But before Shido could say anything, Haruka came to the restaurant with an angry look on her face.

"Kakashi! Tell me! Does he miss me!" she almost yelled to Kakashi.

"Of course he misses you." Kakashi chuckled looking at the woman.

"I don't believe you!" she yelled.

_Ok, what's going on?_

"I can't do anything about that." he said.

"How. Many. Girls?"

"Just 5."

"5! Unbelievable! I'm gonna kill him!" she kept yelling.

"Haruka, calm down. How many guys you have at the moment?" Shido joined into the conversation as Sakura was extremely confused.

"7." she sighed and sat next to Shido.

"He misses you." Shido sighed too.

"He's in town." Kakashi said quickly, which made Haruka's face go through all the expressions there was.

"Oh. My. God." she said.

"Um. Could someone please explain me what are you talking about?" Sakura said.

"We're talking about Haruka's man." Shido notified.

"Who is he?"

"I need to go shopping." Haruka yelled suddenly and stormed away from the restaurant.

"Genma." Shido and Kakashi said at the same time.

"Genma? I thought he dated only chicks with fake boobs?"

"Well. Their relationship is complicated." Kakashi laughed.

"Yes, exactly. They are allowed to date other people but they are a couple at the same time." Shido said.

"Um?" the conversation was making Sakura more confused than ever.

"She. Makes. Him. _Beg._" Kakashi said.

"Beg? Genma? Wait, are we talking about THE Genma? Shiranui Genma?" she asked.

"Yes." both men said at the same time again.

"He _begs?_"

"When it comes to Haruka, yes." Shido laughed.

"Oh my god. How does she do that?" she asked but neither of the men answered.

-----------------------------------------------

**A/N: Ok, next update will be (well, considering that school and taekwon-do started)… Hopefully before 3 rd of September. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**-danax**


	16. Mission Part 1 Completed

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but I wish I had a prescription for stronger painkillers. I'm just allowed to take 3 in a day. IT'S NOT ENOUGH!**

**Ah, I was able to fit into the chapter something from the movie, Down with Love! Gaaah! I love that movie!**

**Gaa. Thanks for the reviews.**

**--------------------------------------- **

_I can't believe I'm doing this. Gosh_, a pink haired woman thought in awe as she walked slowly towards her target. She was wearing a quite loose black miniskirt and a white piece of clothing which they called a tube top but it felt more like a desperate try of a tube top. She felt incredibly cheap especially when she knew that her "boyfriend" was watching her from somewhere at the restaurant.

He was in a bloody good disguise since she hadn't spotted him yet, but that was the point though. He would see every move of hers and he would analyse them and in the end, he would make a full report of her assassinating someone. He would be the final judge for the Jounin-test.

_So, how many scrolls was I supposed to steal? 2? Um. The one from his left chest pocket… And the one from his safe… Ok, this is easy_, she thought in a slight panic. She was nervous but excited and at the same time she was eager to get to spill some Akatsuki-blood.

She went to sit on a barstool which was right next to her target's. She signed the bartender to come to her and take her order.

"And what can I get for you." the bartender asked and scanned her body like he was about to do something "unacceptable".

"Rum and coke please." she smiled and quickly glanced at the man on her left side, her target. He was practically staring at her legs.

"One rum and coke coming up." the bartender grinned and turned around to get her drink.

She mentally did a victory dance when the man next to her started speaking to her: "Say, have we met before?"

"I've seen you before. But I don't think that we've actually met." she smiled to him.

He leaned to her and whispered: "Better late than never."

… _Unbelievable… **KILL HIM NOW! KILL HIM WITH A… STICK!** … I might just do that…_

She got her drink and before saying back anything to him, she drank some of it.

"Mmm-hmm. I have to agree with you." she smiled trying to fight the feeling of total cheapness. How happy would've she been if Kakashi had showed up at the moment and ripped the head of the guy. But for her dismay, she knew that it would never happen.

"Tell me, what's your name?"

"It's Sakura. And yours is?" she forced herself to smile to him.

"Jun. And Sakura, I would like to get to know you better." he grinned.

_Oh god no. **STICK WITH THE PLAN! THINK ABOUT THE MONEY! **All the things I'm doing for… money… but I ain't taking ANYTHING in my mouth for it! **Me neither… **_

"How much better?" she asked with an innocent look in her eyes.

"All the way better." he murmured.

The bartender chuckled as if he had been listening to their conversation. Sakura just blinked, then it hit her, the bartender was Kakashi.

When Sakura didn't say anything back Jun continued: "You know this restaurant is a hotel too. And I live in the top floor. I own the apartment there."

"Tell me, would we be interrupted?"

"No, if I tell my staff to not to interrupt us."

--------------------------------------

Sakura pushed the dead body off of her and grinned. She rolled the body over so that it was on his back and she got one scroll of his left chest pocket. She put it to her small handbag which she had been carrying.

_Satsugaite no Jutsu, I think I love you_, she thought and got up from the bed.

She looked around the room. On her left side there was a wooden desk and a chair and on her left side there was the door. In front of her there were some wooden bookshelves and one huge painting in the bookshelf.

_Gotcha_, she thought evilly and walked right in front of the painting. She took the painting down and looked at the safe.

_I wish I had Hinata's eyes. Ok, how do I open a safe? Maybe the lock can be opened from the other side…? I could use my chakra strings then. Oh man, I'll give it a shot. _

She put her hand to the cold metallic door of the safe and almost immediately chakra strings started coming from her hand, they found their way under the door to the safe.

"Ok. Search for some weird thing which might open this fucking safe. Gosh, I gotta take lessons of opening safes." she talked to herself.

Fortunately for her, she was able to open the safe from the inside. When she heard the little click, she did mentally a victory dance.

_THANK YOU!_

She looked into the safe. There were some diamonds, one scroll and some papers. She took the scroll and closed the safe. She put the scroll to her handbag too and went back to the bed.

She took Jun's clothes off and covered him a bit with the covers of the bed.

_Perfect. Now they all think that I'm some dirty girl who fucks anyone she finds from a bar. Just perfect_, she thought bitterly and left the room.

-----------------------

She stepped into their suite. No one was there so it was silent and dark. She took her shoes off and walked around the whole suite switching all the lights on. The combination of darkness and silence was something which she was afraid of. Maybe that was the main reason for her sleeping problems or then it was just the past and Sasuke.

She sighed and went to the bathroom. She would kill for one very sharp object but she knew that she was on a mission and she didn't want to screw the mission up so she ended up taking 3 antidepressants.

She watched herself from the mirror, she saw pink hair which was put up but still a bit messy and some locks were hanging freely, she was wearing make-up, her mascara was coming off her eyelashes with the help of her tears. She knew that some people thought that she was pretty or "beautiful" but to her, she just looked sad, forgettable and not-special; she was just Sakura, she had pink hair and green eyes. There was nothing special in that, right?

She sighed and went to sit on Kakashi's bed. She took the phone from the nightstand and called to the room service.

"Hi! This is room 756 and I'd like to order crepes with sweet strawberries and whip cream. Um. 4. Yeah, ok. Thank you!"

She put the phone back to the nightstand and fell on her back.

"Let's see. I've killed a man today. I've stolen 2 scrolls and I've ordered way too many crepes for only me. Plus it was free and I'm on a comfy bed. And I'm going to see Shido tomorrow and he'll be really happy when I give him the scrolls and I'll get doubled payment from this mission. Gosh. This _is_ life." she talked to herself.

The ringing of the phone startled her and she answered to it: "Yeah?"

"It's Tsunade." her sensei said.

"Oh, hi!"

"I have a small problem."

"Hm? What?"

"Yuki-chan won't eat anymore." the older woman sighed.

"Why? She promised me that she would eat."

"Well, she thinks that you'll be back sooner if she won't eat."

"Oh, let me talk to her."

"That was what I had in mind too. I'll give the phone to her now."

"Yuki-chan?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura! Come back!" a little girl yelled.

"I can't, you know that. I'm on a mission."

"Then. I won't eat!"

"But you promised." Sakura spoke to the phone sternly.

"And you promised to come back soon!" the little girl cried.

"And I will come back."

Now the little girl burst into tears at the other side of the line.

"Don't cry."

"You're on a mission even though you know that I won't live long!" the girl cried and hung up the phone.

Sakura felt hurt after Yuki had hung up the phone. Yuki was her patient, she had a leukaemia and her changes of surviving were only 40 percent of 100. Yuki's words made Sakura cry, she knew that the little girl might be dead when she would return but she could not just stop doing missions even though it would help her.

She had found Yuki sitting alone on the ground one year ago. She had asked where her parents were, her mother had committed a suicide and her father was compulsive gambler and drinker: he had just forgotten all about his little girl. So Sakura had taken Yuki with her to the hospital and provided her a warm bed and food. Then the little girl started having some symptoms, she was pale, her infections were longer than they should've been and she was very tired all the time. It was only a few months ago when Sakura had come up with the result that Yuki had leukaemia. The information had broken Sakura's heart but telling it to the little girl had crushed the pieces.

She wiped some tears of her cheek and took a deep breath.

_**You can't blame yourself… This is what you do, who you are. You're a ninja and you can't be there for her always. **I know, it still makes me sad. Plus I haven't seen her in a month or something because I've been training!** Then see her when you get back. **I will. I will._

She heard the door being opened and she went to the hallway. It was the knight in shining armour, Kakashi in his civilian outfit.

"Hi." she grinned.

"My. My. You're still wearing that mini skirt… For me?" he asked with a puppy dog eyes.

"Gosh! I DIDN'T HAVE THE CHANCE TO CHANGE!" she yelled and started hitting him to his head.

"I was just kidding!" he laughed.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" she kept yelling, playfully though.

"You'd better!" he laughed and pinned her to the wall and taking her hands to his.

_Oh shit. I'm trapped._

"So what are you going to do now?" he asked like he was reading her thoughts.

"Kick you to the nuts?" she giggled and did a slight movement with her knee and he automatically released her and took a step backwards. "Catch me! If you can, loser!"

He just blinked as she ran from the hallway. He was stunned for the fact that she had just beaten him up in his own game.

"What a woman." he sighed and went to find her, she would pay, one way or another, she would pay.

------------------------

It was way too bright morning. She was standing in front of the kitchen counters and collecting food from the kitchen cabinets and fridge.

_Unbelievable_, Kakashi thought as he watched her from the chair. She had way too much energy, she was too hyper.

He watched closely her body and her clothing or the lack of it. She was only wearing white panties and a white tank top. He loved and hated her clothing. He loved it because he could clearly see her nipples under the shirt and hated it because he had to use more strength to control his… urges…

"Sakura, I can't eat anything for breakfast because I ate 3 crepes with strawberries and whip cream last night", Kakashi groaned, "no, let me take that back, because you _made_ me eat 3 crepes with strawberries and whip cream last night."

"Oh shut up. You have to eat something." she said with a stern voice.

He looked at her thinking how unbelievable she actually was. She had ordered way too many crepes, she had eaten only one of them, she had made him eat the rest and when he had been eating, she had "found" some whip cream from his face which she "absolutely" had to "lick" off. But he had no reason to complain, he had gotten to eat something sweet, someone had been sitting on his lap and licking his face, what was there to complain for? Now, she was making him eat again.

"Fine. I'll eat." he sighed.

"Yay! And Sakura wins again!" she laughed and turned around to take something from the fridge.

_Where she gets her energy? Or am I just tired? _

"How did your mission go last night?" he asked.

"That was the stupidest question from you, ever! Since you were watching me." she laughed and threw an apple at him which he caught of course.

His eyes had a questioning look so she continued: "Your breakfast. And since when have you become a bartender?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But how did the mission go?" he grinned and took a bite of his apple.

"You just want to know how far I went with the guy." she laughed and sat a chair which was on the other side of the table.

_True_, he thought.

"Well you can relax because. He was dead before he could open the zipper of his pants." she laughed.

Kakashi blinked. He was having mental images of her with another guy. It felt like someone was ripping his guts out from his bellybutton.

"Kakashi?" she asked.

"Hm? What?"

"You just looked like… Well… Are you OK?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine." he grinned and took another bite from his apple.

"OK then." she said and got up from her chair and went back to stand in front of the kitchen counter and gathering food.

"How much are you going to eat?" he asked after seeing the pile of food on the counter.

"Not much. I'm just trying to decide what to eat."

The next few days weren't the best in Sakura's life. She had to use high heels and because of that, she fell a lot. But then again, someone certain was always there to catch her.

Shido had taken her to shopping day after day, which made her feel like Shido had an overdose of estrogen in his body. He bought… shoes… all the time. He also bought too many clothes for Sakura, she felt like she was never going to use all of them: she wouldn't have the time to use all the clothes because there were too many.

-------------------------

**A/N: Sorry it was a short chapter… Anyways… I wasn't able to write a longer one because I'm panicking because I have another doctor's appointment today… cries **

**Next chapter will be about the party and returning to Konoha and I've almost planned the whole chapter already so it won't take too long to actually write it. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**-danax**


	17. Mission Part 2 Completed

**Disclaimer: You know I do not own anything, I've told you it before.**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! You guys are the best!**

**Sorry for the late update… And this chapter is dedicated to Iida! Thanks so much for making my year!**

* * *

Sakura was donning a beautiful white dress and high heels. Even more amazing she was still standing without anyone supporting her! Shido's assistants had put some make-up on her even though she had wailed that she didn't need any; they also had put her hair up and she had an unsettling feeling telling her that there might be some glitter in hair. 

Now she was supposed to leave room she was in and enter into banquet with Kakashi, Shido, and Sasuke. Well, she obviously didn't want to leave the room and let everyone see her, but she knew that she had to go to the banquet, spending the whole night with Tsunade and mingle with Kages from different villages. She also knew that there would be almost every Jounin ninja in the banquet including Jounins from Konoha, which meant that they would see her... in make-up... and in a dress. And _that_ was something she did** not** want to happen.

She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed: she was also wearing a bra which lifted her breasts a bit too much for her taste. She was certain that Kakashi would say something about them or just stare.

She gathered her courage and walked out of the room, making her way to the first floor of the hotel where she was supposed to meet her escorts.

_**Meanwhile**_

Kakashi stared at a huge black plastic bag that Shido was carrying with him as he walked from the back of the hall to the front of the hall and back again. He wondered what was in the bag.

He looked at Sasuke who was just leaning against the wall and looking like a statue. He didn't move at all, his empty eyes staring at one spot on the cold stone floor.

He started wondering when team 7 had actually become like this: Sakura and Sasuke always hating each others guts, while Naruto was trying to make peace between them. Mostly, it was because of Sasuke that the changes occurred, but there was something else too. He was sure of it. He also knew that it would be better for everyone to separate those two into different teams, but as they all were Jounins, there was no point since they would have to work together a lot.

His thoughts were interrupted as soon as he saw Sakura walking towards them. First his eye drew on her legs, long and slender. It glided upward on her body, the hem of her dress which ended just above her knees. Drawling upward even more, it stopped on the dip of her collar-bone and then even though he fought it, his eye went a bit down so that he was staring at her breasts, (or as he liked to pretend, the white lacy fabric which peeked out the dress.) Finally he tore his gaze from her torso and gazed upon her face; she was blushing.

He saw her lips forming silent words, "Look away." He blinked and did as she had silently asked. He peered at Sasuke who was leering at her and clenching his fists. Switching his gaze, the nin looked at Shido who was behind Sakura and taking something from the plastic bag.

"Shido, what are you doing?" Kakashi asked. Shido did not answer, he just laughed and took feathery white angel wings from the bag and put them on her back with something Kakashi didn't see.

"You have to be kiddin' me!" she partly yelled, partly laughed.

Kakashi's eye went back to Sasuke and for a moment he thought that he saw Sasuke's sharingans activated. He decided not to do anything to Sasuke at the moment but he would watch him at the banquet. He did not want to let him be alone with Sakura, not even for a second; and keeping those two separated would not be so easy. He had a feeling that Sasuke would be staring at her from afar for the whole night. He did **not **like the feeling.

"So, are we gonna go?" Sakura's voice brought Kakashi back from his thoughts.

"Yes. We'd better leave now or we'll be late." Shido notified and they left the hotel.

They walked to the building where the banquet was and fortunately for Sakura, the walk wasn't long and she didn't fall even once!

* * *

The first thing she saw as she entered the building was Tsunade yelling at Naruto in a corner. She paused for a moment looking at the two and burst into laughter when the older woman actually hit him on the head. She felt home again. 

Of course Naruto had matured a bit but he was still impatient and sometimes _way_ too hyper. He didn't even spend so much time at Ichiraku's anymore. But that was just because he had some mission most of the time.

She felt someone's palm steering her forward and making her start walking again. She turned her head a bit to see that Kakashi was pushing her forwards because she had been standing in the doorway.

"Sorry." she whispered to him.

"Don't worry about it. I saved you." he chuckled.

"Saved me? You just pushed me from the doorway." she said and suddenly turned around, which made him almost bump into her.

"Yes, I saved you." he said again.

"Nu-huh."-S

"Ya-huh."-K

"Nu-huh!"-S

"Sakura..." –K

"Fine! Whatever!" she sighed, giving up.

"I won." he cheer lightly.

"It wasn't a competition!" she said almost angrily.

Kakashi would have said something back to her but Tsunade walked to them and started talking.

"Sakura, you look gorgeous! Now we need to hurry and go meet all the Kages and meet other important ninjas!"

She followed her teacher through the many groups of people. She felt like her neck was burning._ He_ was staring at her.

Tsunade introduced her to the greatest ninjas she had read from the books, the best medics and of course to all the Kages. She realized that Tsunade was not only respected a lot, but feared, too.

To Sakura, it seemed like her sensei was giving her place to her; giving her place as the best medic ninja. Every time the older woman led Sakura to see some respected ninja and every time she introduced her to new people, Tsunade drawled on how good Sakura was and how she was already better than Tsunade herself and still learning.

It made her think that maybe Tsunade was retiring soon. The thought scared her a bit and she dropped the thought as soon as it had come to her mind. She didn't even want to think about how everything would change if Tsunade retired.

* * *

Sakura was tired and hiding in the bathroom from everyone. She was leaning on a sink and glaring at herself in the mirror. She looked very tired and unhappy. She was too tired to hear how angelic she look and too tired to hear jokes about her wings. 

The door of the bathroom opened and Haruka came in. She looked like she was lost, hurt and about to cry any second.

"Haruka?" Sakura asked looking at her. Haruka looked at the pink haired girl for a moment with confused eyes and then she burst into tears.

"Hey, what happened?" she asked and took a few steps towards the crying woman.

"He-- He-- He had an affair!" Haruka cried and threw her arms around Sakura.

"I thought that you were allowed to date others?!"

"He-- HE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH MY COUSIN!" she bawled out.

"Oh. I'm so sorry. What are you gonna do?"

"I'll leave him. I can't live like this. I want him without the other women or I don't want him at all! Do you know why I date others too?"

"Why?"

"Because I try to keep him out of my mind. And all I can think about is the other women with him. I don't want to be one of his many... I want to be his only one!"

"I know, I know." Sakura sighed and embraced Haruka a little tighter. Haruka just cried harder and hugged Sakura tighter.

She never thought that Haruka was that kind of a person, a person who would cry for a man. Sakura had always thought that Haruka was a feminist and would never cry for a man or even want a steady relationship with no other persons to date. Well, she didn't know Haruka very well and she was a woman.

"What should I do? What should I do? I--I-- I must Leave him." Haruka seemed to be talking more to herself than to Sakura. She stopped embracing the pink haired girl and took a few steps backwards. "I'm gonna' do it now or I'll never be able to do it."

Haruka walked to the door but stopped as soon as Shizune opened the door. They stared each other and then it hit Sakura, they looked quite same. Both had black hair although Haruka's was shorter, their eyes were the same and their height was the same.

"You. Bitch." Haruka hissed and slapped Shizune who didn't even try to block the slap.

Sakura just stared at the women. She realized that Shizune was Haruka's cousin and Shizune had had an affair with Genma, everyone had known that.

"I'm sorry. I thought he was allowed to date others."

"He was! He is! But you are my cousin! How could you do that?! You knew that I love him! And you. You just-- never even thought of ME!" Haruka shrieked and stormed off from the bathroom.

"Aah, I-I'd better follow her." Sakura said quickly and run to catch Haruka because deep inside she knew that something was going to happen, something _big_.

She saw Haruka walking fast to the entrance door. Before Sakura could catch up with Haruka, Genma had stopped her. Sakura saw that Haruka said something to him and tried to keep walking but he stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Don't do this." Genma sighed.

"Why not? Gimme one good reason. Just one." Sakura could hear the hurt in Haruka's voice since she was just next to her.

A moment of silence passed between them and then suddenly Genma said something so unlike to him: "Because I love you."

"You love _women_. And if you loose one, you'll have twenty other. This is the difference between us, I love you and I do not love others. But you-- you love women, not just me, you love to love and you love to love freely. You want different things from relationships than I. You want many relationships at the same time with different women. I only want one." and with that Genma released her and she kept walking to the entrance door.

He hesitated a moment and followed her but before she reached to the entrance door, he dropped to his knees, which made Haruka stop. The other people in the hall started paying more attention to the couple who was about to break up or make up.

"Don't. Don't...leave me..." he said quietly from the floor. She didn't answer, but Sakura could see that she was crying since her body was trembling a bit.

"I need you", he continued, "I can leave all the other women. Just... don't leave me!" he pleaded "I'll even start wearing a ring"

Sakura could see how much he actually loved Haruka: the guy was ready to start a normal relationship and he was about to start crying and he never cried.

Haruka slowly turned around and extended her hand to Genma. He got up from his knees, took her hand and walked from the building with her.

The pink haired kunoichi turned around and bumped into someone's chest.

"Ah, I'm_ so_ sorry! I wasn't watching and-- "she stopped her sentence as soon as she realized that she had bumped into Sasuke.

"Nothing new in that." he sighed and walked past her.

She could feel the rage bubbling inside of her wanting to just kill him. She turned around again to see where he had gone but bumped into someone's chest yet again!

She was about to start yelling but her rage and frustration vanished as she saw Kakashi staring at her.

"You really shouldn't make such sudden movements in crowded places like this." he notified grinning.

"And why not?" she asked sweetly.

"Because you might bump into someone." he chuckled.

"I bumped into you." she smiled.

"Yes, I noticed that." he kept laughing.

"Hey-- When can we leave?" she asked quickly.

"Now. Tsunade told me to say that we can go now. She has some business to do with other kages and we are not needed anymore."

"Ok. Let's go." she said.

"Where to?" he asked.

"To our hotel?"

"You insist listening to Haruka and Genma's steamy night then?"

"Whaaaat?!" she yelped.

"They went into our suite since Genma got some extra mission and Tsunade decided that he could live in our suite." he explained.

"Well--let's just go explore the city. It's night and I bet the lights are beautiful and it'd be fun."

"Hmmm. I know a great place that I could show you." he thought aloud.

* * *

Kakashi had taken her to a small cafe. It was down a dark and small alley and it was most likely a place where local townspeople spent their evenings with their loved ones. 

There weren't many tables in the cafe and every table was small and had a candle on it. It gave this romantic and timeless atmosphere.

They were lucky and got a small table from a quiet corner. The atmosphere between them was quite intimate and making her nervous. At the moment she felt like he could read her soul, know her darkest secrets, she felt like he could just jump inside of her and never leave, it scared her.

After watching a while her nervous habits he asked, "Are you alright?"

She just stared at him for a moment not even realizing that she should answer something. He looked at her with a questioning face bringing her back to the ground and she answered: "What? Oh yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine."

"You're looking at me like you're scared." he notified.

"Oh. I. It's. I'm not afraid of you." she said quickly.

"And that almost convinced me."

"I'm not! I really am not!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Fine. Believe what you want." she sighed.

"I know that they have very good chocolate cake here." he notified changing the subject.

"Maybe we should order a piece and eat it together?"

"Sounds good. What do you want to drink?"

"Some sweet wine maybe."

"Maybe? Sakura, _maybe_ you should be sure before deciding."

"Maybe." she said playfully.

Kakashi just rolled his eye making her giggle then he signed for the waiter to serve them, which made her stop giggling for the time being.

He ordered a piece of the chocolate cake and sweet desert wine and it didn't take long to get them. The cake was on one small plate and there were two small forks too.

She saw him take his mask off the face. She took one of the forks and took a small piece and she brought the fork right in front of his lips and he opened his mouth. To her it happened in slow motion, she started at his lips as she slowly pulled the fork from his mouth.

Her imagination started running wild, the atmosphere turned from playful to hot. There was some twinkling sensation in her lower stomach; her body was getting out of control. She wished she could feel his body weight, sweat and hot breath on her skin.

She drank a bit of the wine hoping that the weird feelings would just go away. It didn't help at all that he noticed the sudden change in her.

He decided it was her turn to get some cake so he did the same as she earlier. As she ate the little piece of the cake, he started at her eyes and then watched her lips as she had done earlier realizing that he wanted her badly. It got harder for him to control himself. He was just a man, she was just a woman and looking very beautiful, and he just wanted her.

"Kakashi." she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go."

* * *

They walked quite fast back to the hotel. He led her to the elevator and before the elevator doors had closed, they were all over each other. He pressed the button to the top floor and they'd be there in a minute or two. 

Kakashi's mask was lowered down to his neck, his forehead protector wasn't covering his Sharingan anymore and his lips were on Sakura's neck. Her hands were in his hair, tugging and playing.

They heard a clinging sound and the elevator doors opened. They unwillingly broke apart as some other people came into the elevator. She quickly glanced at him, took his hand and led him out of the elevator. Once they were in the hall, she slightly squeezed his hand and started running towards their suite dragging him with her.

He ran with her and for the first time in a very long time, he actually could put the past behind him and look at the future. Look at_ her_.

He started thinking what he was doing, he was about to go to the suite and have sex with her. No, he was about to make love to her. His mind stayed on the word: love. Did he love her? He wasn't sure. Was she holding his heart on her hand? Yes. Did he want her? Yes, more than anything else. But why did it feel so wrong? He had no idea.

He suddenly stopped making her stop too. She looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Sakura." he said quietly.

"What?" she asked silently almost whispering.

"We-- We shouldn't do this now."

"What? Why not?" she asked and looked deep into his eyes.

"We should wait." he said not answering to her question.

"But--"

"I'm not leaving you, I'm not saying that I don't want you, I'm just saying that we should wait." he said truthfully. His words surprised both of them. He never thought that he was the kind of a person who waits. She never thought that he was the person to say something like that. She always thought that he'd just hide away his mask and be silent.

"Ok", she said quietly and suddenly continued, "Can I still sleep next to you?"

He laughed and nodded.

"Ok, good." she sighed and hugged him.

* * *

It was the morning when they had to leave. Kakashi stared at the ceiling above him and tried to get the will-power to get off of the bed. He never found it so hard to just get out of the bed, maybe it was because she was still asleep, her cheek on his chest and arms around him and maybe he just liked being like that. 

He turned to his right side and he watched her sleeping form and smiled secretly.

He noticed that her body started waking up; her legs moved against his, she rubbed her cheek on his chest a bit and she made this little sound which sounded a bit like a sigh.

"Sakura."

"Mmmm."

"Sakura." he said again.

"Mmmm."

"Sakura!"he almost yelled.

"What?" she asked and kept her eyes closed.

"Your leg--It's--It's--"

Sakura opened her eyes and suddenly realized that her left leg was between his legs and her knee was between his legs and as high as it could be...

"Aaah! I'm so sorry!" she all but yelled taking her leg back and going further away from him 'til she fell from the bed onto the floor, her left leg still staying on the bed.

He burst laughing as she groaned on the floor.

"Shut up! It's not funny!" she yelled from the floor. He couldn't stop laughing.

"Relax! It's fine." he laughed.

She sighed loudly and got back onto the bed, a bit further away of him than it was necessary.

He stared at her for a moment and he did a sudden movement towards her, she had no time to react or move away so she was under him, her neck being ravished.

"Ah. What a way to start the morning." she giggled.

He stopped kissing her neck and looked at her eyes for a moment.

"Why did you stop?" she asked suddenly hoping that he would continue.

He just grinned evilly and crashed his lips on hers but their kiss was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"We have to leave in 10 minutes!" Sasuke yelled from the other side of the door.

She looked at the older man on top of her and he looked at her. Both were cursing Sasuke in their minds.

"I don't get him." she said suddenly when he was still on top of her.

"What?"

"It's like-- he's changed so much... but then sometimes, he's back to his old self. It's like--I dunno..."

"Who?"

"Sasuke", she sighed and continued laughing, "Maybe he created a another personality when he was with Orochimaru."

He just grinned at her and got off of her.

"We'd better hurry and get going." he said and with that, he vanished to the bathroom.

_Thank god we have more than one bathroom in this Royal suite.. Haha! Oh shit, I have only a few minutes for the shower and a few to pack my things and-- SHIT!'_

* * *

**A/N: Next update will be posted… I have no idea but it won't take as long as posting this chapter! I promise! **

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! **

**-danax**


	18. THIS IS A NEW CHAPTER! I CHANGED THE OLD

* * *

_**IMPORTANT:**__** I deleted the first chapter 18 because I wasn't satisfied with it and when I started to think more about the chapter, it was kinda fighting against the main plot of this story. So this is a new chapter, an update. And I'm very thankful for those who are still reading this and keeping me writing! I'll be updating in a quicker pase from now on. Thank you!!**_

* * *

Sakura was sitting on the bathroom floor

Sakura was sitting on the bathroom floor. She had run out of antidepressants and the voices were back in her head. The antidepressants never silenced the voices completely. She had a razorblade and a small towel on the floor next to her.

She took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before exhaling. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do or what she was doing. She knew people wanted her to quit cutting herself and start to heal but she wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. She knew it would do no good if she quit only if others wanted her to, she'd only find a new way to hurt herself. And, at the moment, she was in love with the blood she bled. She loved the pain she caused herself.

She pressed the razorblade to her left wrist and cut herself slowly and vertically. She knew if she cut deep enough and vertically, she'd die from the loss of blood because the wound wouldn't have the time to clot.

She heard a sharp knock on the door and the razorblade dropped to the floor. "What?" she asked.

"Sakura, what are you doing?" Ino asked in a worried tone.

"I'm, I'm cutting my toenails", the pink haired woman said quickly and pressed the towel to her wrist.

"Oh, sorry. I thought… I thought, oh nothing. Well, the dinner's ready soon", the blue eyed woman said and her friend could hear her steps as she walked to the kitchen.

'Gawd', she thought to herself and started healing her new cut on her wrist. She didn't want her friend to find out what she had been doing. She made the bleeding stop and pulled her sleeve to cover her new cut.

She put her razorblade in a small irony box and she hid the box behind the toilet seat. She knew Ino would never look for anything from there. She quickly washed her face with cold water before going to the kitchen.

Ino had set the table. There were some flowers in a vase on the table. She looked at her pink haired friend and said: "Ah, finally. I've made noodles, chicken and this sweet and sour sauce."

"Smells really nice", Sakura said and smiled a bit as she sat on a chair.

"Sakura, are you alright? I mean… I know you're depressed and so on but Kakashi told me that your situation had… Gotten a bit better but it seems like, it seems like it's just gotten worse or something", the blue eyed woman spilled her mind to her friend and sat on a chair next to her, looking at her with sad eyes.

"I'm fine, Ino. Don't worry about me. It doesn't help if you're worrying about me. I mean, I'm just going through a rough phase", the medic ninja said and wasn't sure to whom she was lying to.

"Are you sure? I just want your life to be great. And now you have a relationship and, I just want you to be happy", Ino said with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure", the jade eyed kunoichi said as her friend came and hugged her.

* * *

Kakashi was sitting on his bed, reading the oldest make out tactics book and reminiscing. He couldn't concentrate fully on what he was reading; he kept finding himself looking at a picture on his bookshelf. It was taken a few days later team 7 was formed. Back when everything was still simple.

His eyes drifted to high stack of papers on his desk, he had some paper work to do which he wasn't keen on doing. Groaning he got off of his bed and walked to his desk and picked the piece of paper on the top.

'Why are they bothering me with this shit now?', he thought as he read the first lines of the paper.

_We are__ writing to inform you of some documents that need to be signed regarding the inheritance you are entitled to from your father. Please come to our office address is on the 3__rd__ page between 2-4 pm and sign the documents to rectify this situation so you can receive the inheritance money you are entitled to._

He rumbled the papers the inheritance office had sent him and threw them to the trash can. _'They can wait'_, he thought and started filling some documents of his latest missions.

* * *

Miss Harata strolled around in her dark office room. There were tall book shelves filled with all sorts of books and scrolls. There were two leather seats; one for her and one for her patient. There was one wall where weren't any bookshelves instead there was a fireplace and two paintings. She felt safe having the first two Hokages watching over her most of the time. The paintings were her most prized possession.

She stopped at the fireplace and crouched down in order to see the fire better. She felt the heat on her face and hands. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had a feeling, she felt like she had missed something. She felt like she had the answer to one of her patient's mental illness on the tip of her tongue but she just didn't know how to phrase it.

There was a loud knock on her door and she went to open the door.

"We have a package for you, ma'am."

* * *

Sakura leaped from rooftop to rooftop 'til she reached the Jounin HQ. It was one of the tallest buildings in Konoha. She felt like being alone and thinking and rooftops were always the best places to think.

'_They all pity you.' _a familiar voice said in her head. _They all hate you and they don't need you. _

"SHUT THE FUCK UP SASUKE!!" she yelled from the top of her lungs. All birds nearby startled and flew away.

She suddenly realized she was looking into the distance and crying silently. She looked at her hands, they were full of scars. She touched a quite new one and opened it with her chakra. Blood started coming out of the wound slowly and she felt complete.

"You never shut up…" she sighed. And she laid herself down to the roof and took a deep breath. She could feel her wound starting to heal. She didn't bother reopen it or heal it completely.

* * *

Kakashi was looking around Tsunade's office as she was talking about his new mission and telling some details. He looked at an old painting on the wall; there was some ninja training at open area surrounded by cherry trees.

"Kakashi! Stop looking at the painting and listen!" the Hokage yelled and hit her fist to the table making the copy nin look at her.

"I am listening", he said yawning.

"Good, so the mission is simple, just take the scroll to the Hidden Sand Village, to Gaara-san himself. And, no one else. Understood?" she explained very slowly as she was talking to a 3-year-old boy.

"Yes, yes. When do I leave?" he asked lazily.

"The day after tomorrow. I'd make you leave sooner but first the Anbu team 3 needs to come back before you leave. They are expected to come the day after tomorrow, at midnight."

"Ok", he said and left the office.

He was happy for getting a new mission and because he was to complete it alone. It was easier, he'd rest when he'd get tired, he'd eat when he'd get hungry and he wouldn't have to wait for anyone.

He passed some people on the way out of the building but didn't bother to have a conversation with them. He was just tired and stressed out thanks to Sakura. He suddenly realized he could sense Sakura somewhere quite near. He hadn't seen or sensed her in a few days, which made him worried and stressed out. He concentrated on her presence and realized she was on top of the building which he had left.

He leapt to someone's balcony in front of him and from there he leapt to the roof of the HQ. He could see a person with pink hair on the other side of the roof laying or sleeping. He wasn't sure which one she was doing. He walked to her and saw she was in deep sleep. There were dark circles around her eyes and she was pale. Her appearance told him she hadn't slept or eaten well in days.

Carefully he picked her up to his arms and he 'poofed' away to his bedroom. He laid her softly to his bed and sat next to her.

"You should start taking care of yourself", he sighed quietly. She just turned to sleep on her stomach, not hearing him.

"But… you never were that good at taking care of yourself", he said looking down. He turned to look at her sleeping form and decided he should go sleep next to her, otherwise she might run away the moment she'd wake up. But deep inside he knew, she wouldn't run away, he knew she felt safe in his home. He also had a feeling that she might be having a nightmare.

* * *

Kakashi woke up in the way he hated waking up the most, he woke up to someone screaming. Automatically his body shot up to sitting position and he realized Sakura was screaming on the bed.

"Sakura!" he yelled but she didn't stop. It was as if she was awake but seeing something terrible. He took her into his arms pressing her body against his, his other hand on her back and other on the back of her head.

"Sakura, it's okay, I'm here", he whispered to her ear.

Slowly she started realizing where she was and what was happening and her screaming started turning into crying. Before he knew it, she was crying to his shoulder and having hard time to breathe.

"Sakura relax", he tried to calm her but it seemed to be impossible. He started feeling a bit scared for her not knowing what was happening to her. He stroked her back in circles and just waited 'til she stopped crying, 'til she was just leaning on him and breathing.

"Sakura?" he asked quietly but didn't receive any response from her. He tried to push her a bit way so he could see her face.

"Don't!" she almost yelled holding him tighter.

"Sakura?"

"I-I… I didn't mean to fall asleep. I really didn't, it was an accident!" she cried to his shoulder.

"Sakura, you can sleep."

"NO! I can't… Kakashi, I can't. It's _**him**_. _**He**_'s there, _**he**_'s showing me things, _**he**_'s doing things. I can't sleep", she whispered to him.

"Sasuke?" he asked quietly.

"Yes", she cried.

"Sakura, how...?" he asked.

"I don't know. Kakashi… Don't leave me, you've always made him go away. _**He**_'s quiet when you're around. Kakashi, don't leave me", she started crying again.

"It's alright, we'll sort this out. Just relax", he said trying to calm her down. In his mind, he cursed Sasuke, his mission and the fact that he'd had to leave her for a few days.

He was afraid of what would happen when he'd be gone for a few days. He kissed her cheek and tried to push his mission out of his mind. "It's gonna be alright", he whispered trying to assure her… and himself.

* * *

_**A/N: sorry this chapter is so short. I'll try to update as soon as I can! Please review, and constructive critisism is welcome!**_

* * *


	19. A Blush

**A/N: Okay people, I have a new chappie for you. Just for youuuu guys. Anyways. IF YOU DIDN'T READ THE NEW CHAPTER 18 READ IT NOW BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY CHANGED FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER 18. **

**People have asked me to write something... happier... and there's something nice for you in this chapter. But just to warn you, next chapters might be a bit dark. Anywho, read, read, read!**

* * *

"Do you want any coffee

"Do you want any coffee? Granola? Bread?" the copy nin asked as he was making some coffee and checking if he had any food in his fridge and kitchen cupboards.

"Um.. Coffee and nothing else", she said and started at his back. She was trying to vision him without his shirt on but it was a bit difficult because he was wearing a bit oversized t-shirt.

"You need to eat", he said and turned around to look at her.

"Oh, I will but later. I'm not hungry right now", she said and tried to remember how his bare chest looked like.

"Fine, but you **will** eat lunch", he said sternly and turned around to pour some coffee to two coffee mugs, "milk or sugar to your coffee?"

"Um, milk…? Maybe. I don't know", she said and her words surprised both of them. She always knew what she wanted, what she did not want and what she liked and what she did not like.

"Sakura?" he asked and turned around to see her face.

"I-I… I don't know", she almost laughed, almost cried. She didn't remember how she wanted to drink her morning coffee. If she wasn't scared of herself before, she was now.

"Just… Taste it black, if you think it's too strong, add some milk and so on", he said and placed two mugs on the kitchen table. He went to the fridge and took a carton of milk from it, placed it also on the table and sat down.

"Alright", she said and took the other mug.

He started drinking his coffee wondering how he should tell her that he was leaving for a few days. He had spent hours and hours calming her down last night and now she was fine as they were together. He thought of all the possibilities of what could happen when he was gone he also thought about the fact that she might just be fine with it if she could stay in his home.

"Kakashi?" she said bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Hmm?" he lifted his eye brows and looked at her.

"I just wanted to… thank you of last night. Without you… I don't know what would've happened", she said quietly.

"It's ok", he said and looked as she brought her mug to her lips and drank some coffee. He noticed her wrists were full of red lines which had not been there before.

She realized what he was looking at and he could see from her eyes that she was panicking of what to say, she didn't have an excuse or a perfect lie for new scars, and she knew it would be foolish to try to lie about her cuts because he wasn't stupid. He was far from stupid.

"Kakashi… I—"

"Sakura. I never wanna see you being hurt. I don't want you to feel pain, I don't want to see you **in **pain. I never want to see you being sad or broken. I do not want you to cut yourself and honestly… honestly it pains me to know that you still do it even when you know I don't approve it", he said and looked at her.

While he had said all those things, he had a look in his eyes which she hadn't seen before. It was worry, hurt, sadness and something all combined. She couldn't quite place it what it was maybe because no one had looked her that way ever. What he said didn't surprise her but the fact that he said all those things did surprise her. He didn't usually share his feelings with the world. He wasn't the kind of man who'd make beautiful speeches about his feelings; he was the kind of man who showed what he felt.

She stared at him for a moment and lowered the mug onto the table. Slowly she stood up from the chair she had been sitting on and walked to him, kneeled next to his chair and hugged his mid torso.

"I'm sorry… I just can't… stop it. I have no control over it. I… It's… sometimes the voices tell me do things and I have to do what they say. It's like I don't control my own body anymore", she cried to his chest.

Her words pained him. Not knowing what was going on pained him. The fact that he had to leave her tomorrow pained him. The whole situation pained him.

* * *

A little girl was sitting on a hospital bed and swinging her legs trough the air. She was humming some children's song and waiting for her nurse to come and take a few tubes of blood of her and give her some breakfast.

The moment the door to her room was opened and she saw who came in, she felt disappointed. The nurse didn't have pink hair and the nurse wasn't Sakura, which meant the nurse most likely hadn't smuggled ice cream and candy for her.

"Good morning Yuki-chan, I hope you're feeling better today", the blonde nurse said fake perkily.

"Where is Sakura?" Yuki asked a childish hope in her eyes. Sakura was like a big sister, mom and best friend to her, all in the same packet. She loved Sakura like her mom and she missed her and she hadn't seen her in a month or two. She was afraid she would die any day without seeing Sakura again.

"She isn't working today", the nurse said and started preparing everything for taking some blood of the little girl.

"But... She promised she'd be back soon and that she would come and see me soon", Yuki mumbled.

"Yuki. She isn't working today but I can call her and tell her you miss her", the blonde woman said sweetly hoping that the little girl would cheer up.

"What if I die before she comes?" she asked tears in her eyes.

"You won't die that fast", the nurse smiled and wiped some tears of the little girl's cheek, "Sakura will be here soon if she promised."

"O-kay", the girl hiccupped.

The blonde woman started drawing blood from the little girl, it didn't hurt her anymore. She even watched as tubes were filled of her blood. They took tubes of blood of her every day, she had gotten used to it.

* * *

Naruto was standing in a dark alley, nobody apart from him was there, yet. It was raining and he cursed the fact parts of his hair were falling blocking his vision.

He heard a 'poof' and there was a man next to him saying: "Naruto. A few members of Akatsuki are going to a small village near of Konoha, they have a small mission there."

"What's the mission about?" he asked wondering if Sasuke knew about the mission.

"Kidnapping someone", the man said quietly.

"Who? From Konoha?" the blonde man asked. He was surprised because in Konoha there weren't any people with Jinchuuriki or any S-ranked criminals in the jail.

"Yeah. I don't know who it is. First I heard people talking about it but then when I was asked to join the mission, I knew it had to be true", he explained.

"Is… Is Sasuke still with you?" Naruto asked knowing that he wasn't allowed to ask that. Tsunade had clearly stated that they would trust Sasuke even with his past.

"I don't think so. Or I don't know. **He** doesn't talk about him or anything including with him. If he still is part of us, then it's kept secret", the man explained.

A sigh explained from Naruto's lips. He was hoping he could catch Sasuke doing something, anything which would send him to jail or sent in to exile. They had been once friends but that had been long ago, a lot had changed. Naruto wasn't stupid anymore, he did see how Sasuke had changed, he had witnessed how Sasuke treated Sakura and he didn't trust him anymore.

"I need to go now", the man said and 'poofed' away leaving Naruto alone in the alley.

He looked up to the dark sky covered with dark rain clouds. It rained heavier than it had some time ago. He started cursing as he got a raindrop in his eye.

* * *

Miss Harata was flipping through the pages of the book she had received in a packet. She didn't know who had sent it to her and why. The book was about the rare mind jutsus and brainwashing techniques and how to cure them. The book had a bookmark and a short note on one page, "Rare Brainwashing Techniques" was the headline of it and someone had written: "IMPORTANT!!" on the top of the page.

She started reading about the rare brainwashing techniques for the 4th time. The more she read the more the chapter reminded her of something. But she couldn't quite place it.

She took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind. She placed the book on the table in front of her and got up from the chair she had been sitting on. She started walking around her dark room and thinking about her patients and everything the sender could have referred to.

It troubled her not knowing what it was all about. Miss Harata knew she wouldn't sleep or eat 'til she had figured it out. The book disturbed her too much.

The ringing of the phone brought her thoughts back from the book. She walked quickly back to her desk and answered: "Miss Harata speaking."

"Hi, it's Haruno Sakura", a young female voice said.

"Oh, Sakura. How are you? Is everything okay? Are you still coming today to our session?" Miss Harata asked.

"Um, well. I called to ask when we the therapy session is. I kinda forgot it."

"Yes, yes. Of course. It's at 4 o'clock which is in 2 hours."

"Ah, okay. Thanks a lot!"

"See you then!"

* * *

"Sakura, we need to talk", Kakashi said behind her as she hung up the phone.

"Oh, okay", she said quite nervously, she hated those four words. Every girl hated them.

He walked to his bed and sat down. He tapped the space next to him as a sing for her to sit down. She walked to the bed feeling that her knees might give in. She was scared that he might break up with her and she was scared that he might tell her that someone she loved had died.

She sat down next to him. She looked at him with scared eyes and when she saw the look he had in his eyes, she got more scared. His eyes reflected something like sadness, which would make sense if he actually was breaking up with her.

"Sakura… I…" he started but didn't continue. She did her everything to resist the tears.

"Yes?" she asked quietly, if she had spoken any louder, he would've figured out that she was about to start crying.

"I'm leaving tomorrow", he said looking at her.

First she didn't get what he said but when the realisation hit her, it her good. Tears started rolling from her eyes slowly while she just started at him.

"I'm only going to be for a couple days and you can stay here", he explained and lifted his hand to her cheek.

"Kakashi… no", she cried. The feeling of safeness he brought to her started vanishing. She needed him but she didn't dare to say it aloud. She thought if she told him how much she needed him, how much he meant to her, he would leave her.

"Sakura, it's just a few days", he said looking at her softly. He wiped her tears and tried to smile but he couldn't. He couldn't smile when she was crying.

"I'll get someone to look after you for the time I'm gone."

"Kakashi, it's no use. Someone else isn't you. I need you. I need… you", she cried and he pulled her closer to him.

"Hey, it's going to be alright", he tried to assure her but she just kept crying to his chest.

"It's… not… gonna be… alright", she cried.

He pushed her a bit away so he could see her face. Her eyes and nose had already a reddish colour. She was looking down and he put a finger under her jaw lifting it 'til her eyes met his.

"I need to go, you know that", he whispered, "I… If I could, I wouldn't go but I can't say no for this mission."

She didn't answer, she just looked at him. He didn't know anymore what to say. He didn't know what to do anymore but he couldn't keep up looking at her when she was crying like that. It felt like someone was cutting his heart with rusty scissors.

Suddenly, he pressed his lips against hers. Her lips tasted like salty tears. First she didn't answer to his kiss any way but soon her hands were on the back of his head pulling him closer. She fell down on her back pulling him on top of her.

No one had kissed him like that ever. It was a desperate kiss as if she knew he would die on his mission and they would never see again. A kiss led to a next one and soon he found his hands under her shirt. Her skin was so soft, so warm, they together on his bed, it all felt so right.

He stopped kissing her to see her eyes, she was feeling it too. She smiled a bit before she started pulling his shirt off of him. She threw his shirt on the floor and kissed his shoulder, it was a bit hard when his hands and shoulders remained steady to hold him high above her body. She had had to almost sit up to reach his shoulder.

"Kakashi… I-I... I think I… I know this is soon but I think I… love you", she said slowly as if she was afraid of his reaction. Slowly she lifted her gaze from his bare chest to his eyes.

His eyes reflected everything she wanted to reflect, love. And, for her surprise, Kakashi had a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Oh my God. Kakashi. Are you blushing?" she giggled.

"No", he said and tried to hide his face by looking down at her bellybutton. But she lifted her hands to his face and made him look at her.

"Kakashi. You're so cute!" she giggled again.

The situation was annoying to him. He isn't supposed to blush, it's not him. And she was almost acting like an annoying fangirl.

"Sakura, you ruined the mood. You're acting like a… fangirl", he said through gritted teeth making it sound worse than it was.

"Oh noooo! I'm so sorry, please continue, kiss me right here, see, there", she said and drew circles in her neck.

"Too late, Sakura", he said and let his body fall next to her.

"But… But… I didn't do anything", she said with a sad voice, "and now you're mad."

She looked at him and saw his grin. He was playing with her. "Kakashi, I hate you!" she yelled and started hitting his bare chest.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, Review, review, review, review! I'll update... Someday hopefully quite soon. **


	20. Losing Reality

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I ownly own this weird plot of mine and a few OC characters. **

**A/N: I'm sorry it has been so long.. Life happened. And I have to tell you a few things before you start reading this. I'm diagnosed as bipolar and according to my therapist this story is something I need to finish in order to heal. This story is how I channel my feelings. Usually I just fake happiness and stash my feelings away and the only channel the feelings get out is... cutting. So, there's gonna be a lot of dark and angst but that's part of the plot too. **

**And as I planned this chapter, I listenned to this singer, Corinna Fugate, she's amazing and I get a lot of inspiration from her songs. Okay, start reading now. And I'd be very glad if you reviewed. D  
**

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

_It was early in April, there weren't much life in anywhere in her favourite park. Occasionally she could hear a bird singing or see some ground with no snow on it. She enjoyed the silence of the nature and the beauty of the sleeping nature._

_She was strolling down the small paths in the park as she saw a girl sitting on an icy bench. She was hugging a teddy bear as hard as she could and looking blankly forward. She had long brown hair and it was all over her face but she didn't seem to mind. It was as if she was waiting for something… or someone. _

_The kunoichi walked closer to her and saw that she was crying. A river of tears came out of her eyes but she made no sound. She noticed also that the snow around the bench didn't have any footprints. There weren't footprints anywhere near and she wondered how she had gotten there._

'_So, she has been here for a long time', Sakura thought sadly._

"_Hello, what is your name?" the woman asked. The girl didn't answer, it seemed like she didn't want to notice the woman at all. Even though she was standing right in front of her, she didn't even lift her eyes to look at her. She only cried. _

"_It's cold here, maybe you should go back inside", she said looking at the girl. She could see the girl was shivering, nearly shaking from the cold._

_She was still silent._

"_My name is Sakura. And, I'm not going to hurt you", she said not knowing what she should say next; she felt stupid. "Where is your mom?"_

_For the first time the girl reacted to the kunoichi. She looked at her and said quietly: "She… She is dead."_

"_Oh, I'm so sorry. Where is your dad then?" Sakura asked but received no answer. She sighed, she wasn't very good with kids and the young girl next to her was a complete mystery to her._

_Minutes passed but Sakura didn't leave. She didn't want to leave the girl without knowing that she'd be alright. Plus she had a feeling that she should stay._

"_It's cold", the jade eyed woman said._

"_Daddy… he… he promised he'd come back soon. And, we could go and drink a hot cup of cocoa", the girl cried loudly. _

"_Where is he?" _

"_I don't know", the girl kept crying. _

"_How long has he been gone?" the ninja asked fearing for the girl's answer._

"_Two days", the girl cried and held her teddy tighter. _

_Sakura was shocked; she couldn't believe what she had just heard. She couldn't believe that any father could forget his child out in the cold. Just hearing that broke her heart and she didn't want to feel what the girl was feeling. _

"_Maybe if I'll take you to drink a hot cup of cocoa and then I'll take you to your home?" she asked and the girl just looked at her. The pink haired woman could see in the girl's eyes that she was fighting with herself, it was cold and she wanted to go inside and drink something hot but she wanted to wait for her dad, too._

"_O-okay. M-my name is Y-yuki", she sobbed and took Sakura's hand in hers._

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

* * *

Sometimes when it's very quiet, people get scared. But when people are talking very loudly and there are all kinds of loud noises, people get distressed. Sakura had learnt to live with both of situations. She could be in a place crowded with people and noise and still feel calm, she had learnt to shut the noise and find the peace within. All ninjas had to learn that. Silence was something she enjoyed and it wasn't something she could enjoy frequently. But today was different, it was too silent, as if at last Sasuke had left her mind alone.

She was lying on Kakashi's bed and looking at the ceiling. It was getting dark and it got harder to see all the details of his ceiling. She didn't know how long she had been lying there or what time it was. All she knew was it was too silent and she was afraid of it. The whole time she had been lying on the bed, she had felt that someone was watching her but she couldn't feel anyone's presence near. Something felt wrong.

She felt like cutting again. She missed the blood and the feeling of having cold iron cutting her skin. She sighed at her stupid desires of self mutilation. Slowly she got up to a sitting position. And what she saw in the corner of the room, almost made her heart stopped, Sasuke leaning on the wall. He looked at her and it felt like his eyes pierced her.

"No", she said quietly trying to look away but couldn't, "you're not real. You're not real. You're not real."

"What if I am?" he asked still looking at her.

"You're not real!" she screamed. He didn't reply, just kept staring at her.

She took a pillow from the bed she was on and threw it at him, it fell through him. "Ha! See, you're not real!" she screamed.

"Sakura, it really _**hurts**_ my feelings when you say I'm not real", he said with a mysterious smile and walked closer to the bed.

"No! Don't come any closer!" she yelled and threw another pillow at him that also piercing him as if he was a ghost.

A wave of pure fear washed her and she felt like she couldn't move as he was right in front of her. Before she realized what was happening, his hand was on hers and it felt like her hand was on fire.

"If I am not real… How can you feel this?" he asked and pressed her tight against the bed.

* * *

"Do you realize that the Lady Hokage could send you to exile if we keep meeting like this", a brown haired man sighed looking at Naruto. There they were again, meeting in a dark alley though it wasn't raining this time.

"I'm doing this for the sake of Konoha!" Naruto hissed.

"Hey, you don't have to convince me. I know what Sasuke's like and quite frankly, I agree with you. He's not… He's not one of _**us**_ anymore", Sky sighed looking down at the ground.

"So… Do you have anything new information?" the blonde man asked in hopeful tone. For years, his only wish had been that he could send his old friend to jail. For years he had watched what he did to Sakura. For years, he had been a fool for believing he could do it alone. But he had learnt later that it took more than one ninja to catch Sasuke.

"He's with us—" the older man said but stopped dead his sentence after realizing what he had just said. The blonde man looked sternly at Sky but didn't say anything. He knew what it was like to play on both sides of the team and trying to let only the other team win.

"He's with the Akatsuki again. But I've watched him and he... He doesn't care for the Akatsuki. He cares for… Power and something else and—" Sky stopped his sentence again as a sparrow flew above them and landed on the same street they were on.

"He never was a team player. And he'll never be one", Naruto said quietly. For a moment he lost himself to his memories but snapped out of it quite quickly, "why do you do this?"

"Because in the end of the day, I'm a Konoha ninja, too."

"No. You give our team enough information and you're with us planning the final strike but why are you doing _**this**_?"

"It's a long story", he sighed.

"It's about her… Isn't it?"

"More or less."

* * *

Ino had been called to the Hokage's office. She had been hoping for a new assignment, a new mission. Before she could even greet the older woman, Tsunade asked: "Do you know where Sakura is?"

"Uh, she hasn't come home for a day now so she might be at Kakashi's place", Ino said.

"Come on, let's go", the older woman said and got off of her chair.

"Why? What's going on?" Ino asked and tried to keep up with the Hokage. She was clearly in a hurry as if Sakura was about to die.

"I've been ignoring the signs. I've listened through miss Harata's, Sakura's therapist's, recordings of her patients. And she's been getting worse. And today… Today she was supposed to go and see Yuki. And she _**never**_ misses her dates with Yuki", the older woman explained quickly.

"Oh. So you know what's going on?"

"I might have a hunch."

They leaped from the village's roof tops to roof tops trying to get as fast as they could to Kakashi's place. They stopped in front of his door. Ino wasn't sure what to expect and she was a bit scared. The older woman looked calm, like she had the situation under control. She opened the door quietly and they crept in.

"Rape me, rape me my friend. Rape me, rape me again", they could hear Sakura singing. Before they could even think, there she was, dancing and singing with a bottle of rum in her hands.

When the pink haired woman saw the other women in the room she stopped singing and dancing. She looked like she had seen a ghost. "Oh my God, Ino!" she screamed, "did he hurt you, too? You're all covered up in blood!" Sakura ran towards her old friend and cried. The bottle of rum dropped from her hands.

"Sakura", Tsunade tried to say but it was like the pink haired woman didn't hear her.

"Ino, say something!" she cried but her friend was too terrified to say anything. Ino looked at Sakura and felt sick, her whole body was covered up bruises and blood, she had lost a lot of hair and she looked like she had died days ago.

"Look at her hands", the Hokage said and tried to reach out for her old pupil but the pink haired girl backed away in time. Her hands, from wrists to shoulder were covered with cuts and blood.

"I feel light headed, oh let's dance another round Sasuke-kun", she said and collapsed to the ground.

Over the years Tsunade had gotten partly over of her hemophobia, she could stand blood in small doses. She quickly walked to her old student and started healing her wounds on her arms.

"Ino, check her pulse", the older woman said and she didn't have to be told twice.

The younger blonde leaned down on her friend and pressed her two fingers on Sakura's neck, "her heart is barely beating, it's very slow."

Ino did her everything to fight her tears away. But she was scared for her friend who was on the floor barely alive.

"I heard that… If give up on life completely, you body dies", the blue eyed woman said quietly.

"Yes?" the Hokage asked as she started making some hand signs.

"She's playing with death for years now… That doesn't sound like she wants to live anymore. And-and-and, if one has no will to live, how can one get better and heal?"

"Ino! She will get better. I just—" Tsunade let her sentence trail of for a second, "Ino! Search the whole house for any pill bottles! She's taken something, too much. And alcohol!"

* * *

**A/N: A-ha! A cliffhanger! Don't hate me. I've already started planning the next chapter and I will start writing any day now. Please review!  
**

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	21. Blood Wash

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**A/N: A new update! Yay! I really liked this chapter. And next chapter is going to be sooo different. Kind of. You'll see. Well, I hope you'll like this, please review! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. T.T **

* * *

"She'll be alright… Won't she?" Ino asked quietly from the Hokage. The younger woman had been sitting right next to her friend's bed for hours now. She was scared for her friend.

First they had rushed Sakura into the hospital after realizing that she had taken a bottle of sleeping pills with some alcohol. She had also lost a lot of blood. After stomach pumping, the nurses had realized there was something else wrong, too. Her body was covered in weird bruises, as if she had been in a fight in a burning house. She had a small fraction on her cheek bone, second degree burns all over her body and fractions on her rib bones. And now, she was in coma.

"Honestly. I don't know", Tsunade sighed and sat next to her student. She touched her healthy cheek carefully and breathed in deep.

They both were silent, lost in their thoughts. The younger woman kept thinking about all the small details and everything that had been happened in past months. She didn't understand why her friend tried to kill herself when she was getting better. She went over every second and every detail of the evening before when they found her. But nothing made sense to her.

"Tsunade-sama", she said quickly, "why did she say things like why am I covered in blood? I don't see any blood on my clothes and these are the same clothes as yesterday."

The Hokage didn't say anything, she just looked at the younger ninja, her thoughts running. She had had an idea of what had been happening to the pink haired ninja but the evening before and Sakura's condition didn't match the symptoms of the idea she had. She turned her gaze to her old student and to her burns then she realized it.

"Oh my", the older woman said quietly, "Blood Wash."

"What? Blood wash…? Isn't it—"

"—yes, In the end the victim loses him- or herself and becomes just an empty being. They forget what they want and why did they want to live in the first place. And, in the end of the jutsu, their vision is covered with blood. Not like when you look and everything you see is red, everyone and everything you see is covered with blood. And we have to hurry", the Hokage interrupted Ino and she was already on her way to her office. The younger ninja had to run to catch her.

* * *

Kakashi watched the gates of Konoha with a bright smile on his face though it was hidden by his mask. He was happy, his short mission had been successful and now he was home again. He liked having short missions but short missions usually were dangerous at his rank.

As his gate pass was checked he decided he'd quickly go and write his report of the mission and then he'd make a surprise for Sakura. And, as he walked to the Jounin Headquarters he tried to come up with the perfect surprise. The problem was he wasn't really a romantic person and his lack of imagination of love and romance didn't help. He had been in love a few times, he did have women when he wanted to but he hadn't been in a steady relationship many times, two to be precise.

_I'm making myself go crazy… Suprises? I don't do surprises. I didn't used to do at least. Romance and love? I don't do--. But I do.. I'll just buy her a flower and take her to the roof of my house and… and… whatever. _he found himself thinking and planning more than usual.

Kakashi was spontaneous, not a planner, he was a ninja, not a normal civilian, he was a killer, not a romantic boyfriend. But the fact that he was planning a surprise, a romantic one, contradicted everything in him.

* * *

Ino never bit her nails, she never lost her cool and she had never been as afraid of a mission as she was now. The Lady Hokage had told her all about a secret jutsu, Blood Wash, and she had been going into small details and telling everything what she should expect and do inside her friend's mind.

The more she heard, the more nervous she got. The more she listened, the more she bit her nails. It was one of the most dangerous missions she had ever had and will ever have. She knew that if she screwed it up, it could cost her friend's life. And, she knew that what she would be facing inside of Sakura's mind, could kill her.

The Hokage had taken her to her office and into this small room full of book shelves. The shelves were full of scrolls, jutsus mostly. And most of the jutsus were either secret or forbidden.

It hadn't taken long for Tsunade to find the scroll written about Blood Wash. But it had taken a little too long for Ino to learn the hand signs and the counter jutsu. The more time she had spent messing up with the jutsu the Hokage was trying to teach her, the more scared she became. It wasn't the most complicated jutsu she had ever tried to learn but it was the most difficult by far.

"Ino, you just need to perform this jutsu perfectly before anyone touches you. And, I know it's complicated and hard but we don't have a lot of time… So, did you get the hand signs?" Tsunade asked.

"I-I… I think so", she stammered still shaken from the realisation of the current situation. The pressure, responsibility and her stress level were too high.

"You have to be sure."

"I am. I am, just—"

"—scared", the Hokage finished her sentence. The blonde kunoichi nodded, "okay, we have to get going back to the hospital."

"Alright." she said and tried to pull herself back together. She knew that worrying and stressing about the situation didn't help, it would just distract her and it wasn't something she needed. Distraction could cost her friend's life.

* * *

It was dark in the way it's dark when you turn the lights out, listen to the silence on your bed and fall asleep. But it wasn't quiet. There were whispers, voices of the people she once knew, music, conversations, and plain chaos.

It was cold in the way it's cold when you wake up in the morning and leave your bed. But she wasn't shivering. She felt comfortable and somewhat normal and she didn't like it. She felt like she was in a place she wasn't supposed to be and that she was seeing things that she wasn't supposed to see.

She started looking around trying to picture the place she was in. Though it was dark she could still see a bit. She was on a weird road she couldn't see where the road went but every now and then there were some small, round areas either right or left of the road. They were also lit but there weren't any street lamps or fires. There was just light coming from… nowhere. There were also these statue-like things which looked like bubbles glued together. There were white ones, black, blue, light green and even transparent ones. They all emitted some light.

She decided it would be better to walk along the road to somewhere so she could find out where she was and how she could return home. She couldn't walk very fast because it was dark and she didn't see where she was going very well. Something about the place scared her a little and though she didn't want to stay there for long, she didn't want to run into some sort of situation.

As she walked forward, some voices got stronger and some of them disappeared. It was like she was passing by the people who she heard but still she didn't see anyone. So, no wonder it came as a shock to suddenly realize there was someone standing in front of her. Someone she knew very well, herself.

The girl in front of her must have been around 14 years old. She was shorter, her hair was as short as it had been when she was 14 years old and she seemed more like a child than a woman. She was crying and before Sakura could ask anything from her younger self, she saw that younger version of her had bloody hands and she was holding on to something. Something that was dripping blood, a heart.

"Oh my God", the older woman said in a pure shock. All the memories of her parents, of finding them dead and in pieces took over her mind. She saw flashes of the walls, covered in blood, organs all around the house.

"I didn't do it, it wasn't my fault… they were in pieces, just blood… Everywhere and everywhere. I don't know who did it", the girl cried in front of her lifting the heart on her hands up as if she was offering it for her older self.

The older pink haired woman couldn't say anything, she felt sick and hopeless. She felt as if she was falling back to her old dead self. She couldn't fight against the memories which poured into her mind and she couldn't block the girl in front of her. She tried closing her eyes but she still sensed her, her terror, she could still hear her crying.

She turned around and decided it would be best to run away where she couldn't see her old self but another version of her blocked her way. She was wearing a white dress. Her lower abdomen was bleeding through the dress, her hands were covered in blood again. There was no sign of life in her eyes, they were dead.

"He… raped me", she whispered, "he raped me."

Sakura felt like she couldn't breathe, she didn't want to remember, she didn't want to see what she was like, what she used to be. She looked closer at the white dressed woman. She was also bleeding from her hands, they were covered with new cuts. There were small rivers of blood running down her legs.

The older kunoichi took a step backwards as the woman in white started coming closer. "I feel empty. There's no fire anymore, it's cold. He did it again but he was careless… He did it in a public place. Someone saw him. I… It didn't hurt much, I felt nothing. Nothing… I could taste the blood, it was like iron. Bittersweet", the woman kept on going but the real Sakura was confused. She knew it was her in front of her and that she was talking about her memories but she didn't remember those things she kept on saying.

"What are you talking about?" she heard herself asking. Before the woman in the white dress could answer, everything went black.

* * *

Writing the report about his mission was easy, nothing out of the ordinary happened. His mission had been simply to escort a man from Konoha to the Hidden Village of Sand. They hadn't encountered bandits or even random civilians. There was nothing to report about, he just wrote shortly what his mission was about and that was it. It was one of the easiest reports of his entire ninja career.

Happily he took his report from the table he had been writing it at. He walked to the desk where the Chuunin in charge of reports were and gave it to him.

"Pretty short report, are you sure you're done?" the younger ninja asked looking at the report curiously.

"Yea, I'm sure. Boring missions always have boringly short reports", the copy ninja laughed. And, as he walked from the Jounin Headquarters back to his house, it made him wonder, why did he take those boring missions. It wasn't like he didn't have money, because he had and the bank was trying to give him more, his father's inheritance. He didn't want it. Dangerous and long missions were rare these days and he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk his life that much anymore. But he knew that whatever happened, he'd still love his village and he'd still do anything for it. So, maybe it was love towards his village.

He bought a bottle of red wine on his way home hoping that it would cheer up a certain pink haired woman.

* * *

Ino was sitting on her friend's hospital bed and the Hokage was behind them at the doorway. Ino breathed heavily and her hands were shaking a bit. She closed her eyes and breathed deep in and out a few times.

"I'm ready", she said finally.

"Good, I'll be here the whole time and if anything goes wrong… Remember that nothing in Sakura's mind can kill you, it's not your mind or your thoughts."

"Yeah", the younger woman said and started making hand signs. Before she knew it, she collapsed to the bed next to her friend and entered to her mind.

She had never been in anyone's mind as completely as she was at the moment. She had lost all control of her own body in the "real world" and never before had she been able to do jutsus while she was in someone's mind.

She blinked a few times so her eyes would get used to the darkness. She was on a dark path, she couldn't see where it started or where it ended. She started walking forward hoping that she would find someone or something, anything that would help her accomplish her mission.

There was some noise, she could hear muffled conversations, cries and some drumming. Every time she tried to concentrate on some conversation or voice she was hearing, it ended.

She knew her jutsu would last approximately 15 minutes so she shouldn't waste any time. She walked as fast as she could in the darkness hoping that Sakura's mind would open up to her soon.

She saw a glimpse of something pink ahead of her. It wasn't moving and it looked like it was on the ground. She quickened her pace and reached the girl quite quickly.

There she was, the girl she had known almost all of her life. She was lying on the ground, unconscious.

"Sakura?" the blue eyed kunoichi asked. She carefully touched her friend's cheek and realized that it was cold. Before she could do anything else, she felt someone putting a hand on her shoulder.

She could feel all the warmth of her body escaping somewhere, she could feel her thoughts being ripped away and she could taste iron in her mouth.

"Sasuke", she said quietly and found out that she couldn't move. She realized he was keeping her under control by his hand. It was a jutsu.

"I see you seem to have it all figured out", he laughed coldly and pressed his hand tighter on her shoulder.

"Let me go… Let _**her**_ go."

"No, why would I do that?"

Before she could answer anything, the most unexpected happened, Sakura woke up and rose to a sitting position. Sasuke hadn't expected it and absentmindedly he let go of Ino. The blonde kunoichi took her chances and she grabbed her friend's arm and leapt away from him. She let go of the pink haired woman and immediately started making hand signs.

"Do you honestly think that you have enough time to complete the jutsu? Do you even know how it works?" he asked and started running towards her. As he leapt towards the women, Sakura also leapt, but towards him and they collided in mid air.

The blonde's hands started glowing red, it wasn't chakra glow. Her hands also felt warm and suddenly she noticed that her hands were in flames. But the fire didn't burn her.

Sakura flew past her and landed on her back several feet away from Ino. She could see Sasuke now standing a few feet away and his hands were as flaming as Ino's were.

The walked towards each other and when there were 10 feet space between them, both of them started walking left, circling each other.

She knew her chances of winning were slim, she didn't know about the jutsu she was supposed to use, she wasn't as strong or quick as Sasuke was and she had a lot to lose.

"For Sakura", she quietly whispered and ran towards the onyx eyed man.

She had a lot of adrenaline in her body and a lot of determination. For a short time, neither one of them could land any kicks or punches on the other.

The feeling of being so scared started fading from Ino's mind as she realized that she could land kicks and punches on him, that his skin got nasty burns and that he was getting weaker by every punch and kick she landed on him.

For a moment she was sure she'd win and everything would be as before… Then something got over the man in front of her, he gain more speed and more power. Before she realized what was going on, he pressed both of his flaming hands on her and her jutsu to try to save Sakura was undone.

* * *

Tsunade had been in the same room with the two kunoichis all the time. First it had been okay but then Ino had started getting the same kind of bruises than Sakura. Every now and then she got a normal looking wound and she started bleeding. The Hokage had healed everything she could but somehow she knew it had been a mistake, sending the younger woman into Sakura's mind.

Suddenly the blond kunoichi screamed and opened her eyes. Before the Lady Hokage could do anything, Ino's eyes closed and her heart rate dropped.

It took many nurses, many medics to secure Ino's status from critical to almost normal and they couldn't prevent her from falling in coma...

* * *

**A/N: Now my story has started. I've waited 21 chapters for this moment. Hahaha. Nah, but really, I'm really looking forward to write the next about 10 chapters. Anywho, I'll be updating quite sooon but first I have matriculation examinations and then the.. testweek. -" Please review! 3**

* * *


	22. Dark Love

**A/N: A new chappie! Yay! Sorry, I got delayed. I started reading this book and when I had read it (like in 2 days), I had to read the second and then the third and I ended up only reading Twilight series in a week. Gosh, what an amazing story. Seriously. Anywho, here's the chapter and I really hope you like it!! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. I wish I did though...**

* * *

It was just another typical day at a hospital in some ninja country. There was a couple in a hospital room 346, a lovely couple, some would say. They were about in their early 20s, both of them were ninjas. The man had black hair and onyx eyes, he was handsome and he was very careful about his fiancée. For one day now, he had been talking with doctors and nurses wanting to know when she was going to wake up, would she be alright and what to expect from her injuries. Everything a girl could wish for, some would say.

He was sitting on a chair next to the woman's bed. The chair was placed right next to the bed so he could sleep his upper body leaning on the bed. He was reading some scroll, occasionally looking at her and clearly wondering when she would wake up. He had been informed that it should happen soon, any minute now.

Suddenly a sigh escaped her lips and his eyes darted from the scroll to the woman. He knew it was time, time for something he had been waiting for a long time. Quickly he placed the scroll on her nightstand. He got up from the chair and leaned over her.

"Love, are you alright?" he asked but there was no tenderness in his voice, which contradicted his words and his tone.

She moved on the bed regaining consciousness, step by step she was trying to make her mind work normally. She was blinking and looking around the room not actually understanding how she had gotten there. He could easily read her face; he knew what she was thinking and how she felt just by looking at her, her emotions were so… readable.

"Love…?" she asked quietly with confusion in her tone. She kept looking at him with questioning eyes as he tried to decide what to say next.

"You don't… remember me", he said and fell back on the chair.

She didn't know what to think anymore when she realized that she didn't remember her own name. She didn't remember the man before even though he seemed familiar in a way. She felt like she was all alone and that it wasn't the first time she felt like that.

"Chinatsu…" he said quietly.

"Is that… is that my… name?" she asked looking sternly at him. It didn't feel right, she could never imagine herself answering when someone called "Chinatsu". But she was afraid to say anything to him because something about him scared her. It might have been his eyes but she wasn't sure.

"Yes, it is and my name is—"

"—Sasuke!" she screamed. He startled a little then looked at her with a hint of fear in his eyes. She didn't understand why he got scared of that, she thought he'd be happy when she remembered him again. Even though she only remembered the name.

"Yeah", he tried to smile but failed. It was like she had figured something out that she wasn't supposed to, like he was going to lie about his name. She felt silly for feeling like that and tried to bury those thoughts.

"Okay… I guess you guessed that I don't remember… anything. Except your name, of course", she fake smiled and tried to be as cheerful as she could be. Letting her true feelings about the situation wouldn't help and she knew it. She didn't trust him and she was confused. She didn't want to start a fight with a stranger.

"We were training and trying on some new attacks. We were on the branches and I jumped from the branch above to you and you slipped… And you were falling but about to land on your feet… but there was a small boulder on the ground you hadn't seen. You fell on it and hit your head. I carried to the hospital right away because I cannot do medic jutsus. You got a concussion and the doctor says it might take a while for you to remember everything", he explained but didn't meet her gaze, not even once.

"Oh, okay", she said and drifted away in her thoughts. She started thinking of what she knew, things she could remember. She knew a lot of jutsus but she didn't remember how she had learnt them, she knew how to heal wounds and broken bones but she didn't remember ever healing anyone, she could do quite advanced math in her head but she didn't remember who had been her mathematics teacher in school. It was like she knew all the essentials to be a ninja but nothing of her past. She had the right skills, basic knowledge of things but no personal experience.

"I think we should go home, you've been here for a couple of days now. And, the doctor said that you will start remembering things as soon as our life is normal again and your head will have had the right time to heal", he said taking her away from her thoughts.

"Alright", she said and hopped of the bed a little too quickly though, she felt dizzy and she was falling. He caught her and kept her from hitting the floor.

There was something about his touch that made her feel scared. She knew his skin wasn't cold but still, it felt freezing cold. She felt like running away, there was an adrenaline rush in her system and her own voice in her mind was screaming at her: **'Run away!! Kick him! Kill him! Fucking get rid of him! Don't let him touch me!! Rip his balls off, choke him, and make him scream and bleed!' **'Oh, please, shut up, you're giving me a head ache besides he's not a threat… at the moment at least', she thought as if she was having a conversation inside of her mind. **'But I hate Sasuke!' **'Who are you anyways?' **'You'**, and with that there was silence again in her head.

"You alright?" he asked looking at her, she just nodded once. Then she let him lead the way to the place he called their…home.

* * *

Kakashi started at lady Hokage with pure disbelief reflecting from his eyes. He wasn't sure if he should believe what she had told him or if he should laugh as if it was just a bad joke.

"Kakashi? Have you heard anything I've said?" she asked sternly. He just nodded unable to say anything.

It was unbelievable, she'd told him that Sakura had lost it because someone, Sasuke most likely, was using Blood Wash jutsu on her. He had never heard of anyone actually using the jutsu. But, to make it all more unbelievable, she'd also told him that Sakura had fallen into coma and now she was missing from the hospital, she had been for over a day now.

'How could this all happen in a village full of ninjas? How could have we all missed the Blood Wash?' he thought. He was feeling a dozen different emotions but fear and regret were the strongest.

After writing his report, he had left to go home. He had found a bottle of sleeping pills, a bottle of rum and some blood on the floors of his house. If he wasn't surprised enough, the Hokage had called him to her office and had told him the whole story as she knew it.

"Do you have any idea where she might be? Are you going to get a team to get her back?" he asked. He wondered when he'd see her again, he already missed her, had missed for days now.

"Lightning country, maybe. But that's not sure. We're going to let Naruto's team handle this. They're already tracking Akatsuki's movements and Sasuke is partly involved with that mission. But he might've left Naruto's team already or he might be hiding her somewhere. Or the person who actually used Blood Wash on her wants us to believe it's Sasuke", she said and took a file from the pile of files on her desk and opened it.

"Then let me in Naruto's team. I'll find her if she's in Lightning country. If she's not then I'll keep looking 'til I'll find her", he said suddenly. She looked at him, clearly thinking about her options. She knew there was no one who'd take the mission more seriously than he would, she could see it from his eyes.

"Can you put your feelings for her aside for the mission?"

"Yes", he replied without thinking about it much.

"Sasuke and Sakura… They act as a married couple, you've seen them together and you know she's unhappy, he's making her do things she doesn't want to do. It's clearly hurting her. What would you do? Do as Naruto says or act on your own?"

"Depends on what his orders would be", he said and regretted his first answer. He was always able to forget his emotions when it came to missions. He also started to realise what she actually meant for him and he knew if the Hokage let him go, he wouldn't forget his feelings. He'd fight 'til she was with him again.

"Not to act, wait 'til they know more about Akatsuki. And, maybe after a few weeks, take them down. And, your primary mission would fight against them not to go find Sakura."

"I'd… I'd go and get her", he sighed, there was no pointing in lying. He guessed she could already see the answer from his eyes.

"She won't remember you", she said quietly. He flinched, he hadn't thought of that. He didn't like the idea of a brainwashed Sakura who didn't remember him. He was scared that she'd fall in love with Sasuke again, she loved him once so why wouldn't she fall in love with him again.

"I don't care. He's not good for her. Even if you can't remember your own life, you never lose your self, your soul. She's still Sakura. And, think about the damage that he could do by making her use her medic skills for his own purposes", he said surprising himself by his words. He hoped she'd let him go and get her back. He had lived far too long time alone and he wasn't going to live the rest of his days without her.

"If I let you go… You'll assist Naruto's team. They'll give you all the information they have. You'll get her back if possible. If you find another lead somewhere, you'll go after it and track their movements down", she said and kept a pause.

"Yes, I'll do that", he said grinning though she couldn't see his smile of victory.

"Kakashi, I'm not done. You'll kill Sasuke, not Naruto. You", she finished.

"Yes."

"Keep me informed, and if anything goes wrong, anything. I mean the smallest thing, you **abort** the mission and join in Naruto's team."

"Yes", he said feeling hopeful now. He thought the Hokage wouldn't let him go.

"Leave tomorrow in the morning, but stop by here before you leave so I can give you the coordinates of their location and yours and Sakura's gate passes. You're dismissed", she said and with that he vanished in the air.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing", she said quietly before she started reading the file on her hands.

* * *

A pair of jade green eyes stared at her from the mirror in front of her. She didn't recognize herself. Her hair was black, it made her skin look so pale. She had a big forehead. There was nothing familiar in the reflection except the eyes.

"I guess eyes are the mirror to one's soul", she sighed to herself.

She started examining her hair, wondering what she used to do with it. Did she have her hair in a ponytail, just loose or low pigtails? It was a very dark black and past her shoulders with bangs hiding her forehead. She lifted her hair up to a ponytail, only her right hand was holding it.

She turned in front of the mirror so that her left side was facing it. She took a ponytail from the mirror cupboard with her free hand, the position of the mirror changed and her eyes caught a glimpse of something pink in her hair. Immediately se turned to see what the pink thing was. She run her fingers through her hair but there was no hairpin or anything that could be the thing she saw.

She let her hair fall on her shoulders and sighed staring at herself. 'Chinatsu… Stop looking for things that aren't there. This is your life… accept it. Sasuke's… great and you're just imagining things. The end of story', she thought and mentally slapped herself for being so stupid.

Once again, she lifted her hair up and took the ponytail from the cupboard. When her hair was up, there it was again, something pink under her ponytail. She touched it and a small yelp escaped her lips, it was her own hair.

She heard steps behind the bathroom door. She turned the water on, hoping that she was on time and that he wouldn't suspect anything.

"Are you alright? What's going on?" Sasuke asked behind the door.

"Nothing, really, the water was hotter than I had expected. I'll be down in a minute, okay?" she said with the sweetest voice she had.

"Okay, I'll be making dinner", he said. She didn't hear him walk away, he was still listening.

She started humming to some melody and washing her hands as if it really was nothing. A moment later she concentrated to feel his presence and it was at downstairs again.

She began examining her hair once again and realized that she had a small lock of hairs that were pink. There weren't a lot of them but enough for her to notice them. They were in the middle of her head so the only time anyone could see them was when her hair was up in a ponytail and you'd have to be a very observant.

'Okay, why do I have some pink hair in my hair…? Maybe it's a colour mistake or something. Or… People don't have pink colour mistakes in their black hair, really. Okay, so, I might've had pink hair before and dyed it in a hair salon or something. It's nothing…' she thought and closed her eyes, trying to convince herself that everything was normal. **'Then why did he stay behind the door, listening what you're doing? If we're so in love, then why he doesn't act like it. It seems like he can't even love. I say, you're not in love. And I bet he beats you up whenever you do something wrong'** her inner self said. 'I'm not gonna listen you, I'm not. Right now, I'm going downstairs and kiss my fiancé and eat cuz I'm hungry', she thought and left the bathroom.

She stood in the next room, their bedroom, for a while. She hoped she'd get some flashback of anything that had happened in that room. But there was nothing. There was a huge bed with white covers and light brown pillows. There were two big closets for clohtes on both sides of the room. She thought hers would be the one on the right side because she thought sleeping on the right side of the bed was more natural for her. She went to the closet and opened it, it was full of Sasuke's clothes.

"Okay, so, we must've fight about the bed and who gets the right side of the room", she said to herself and went to her closet. It was full of jeans, t-shirts, sweatpants and tight black clothes which would certainly her look like a burglar dressed as a catwoman. She laughed at herself for that thought.

She went to the stairs and hopped the stairs down, then she was in a small hallway and she could clearly see the kitchen doorway on the right side of the hall. As she walked to the kitchen she got a feeling that she was missing something, or someone. Like she had read her favourite book and its sequels in a week and now without having anything to new to read about that book series, she felt lonely, missing the story, missing its characters and plot twists.

She figured out it must be because she hadn't been able to spend some time alone with her fiancé. So, slowly she walked to him and wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"Hi", she whispered to his ear.

"Hi", he laughed. She noticed there was warmth in his laugh this time. His presence was totally different. She kissed his cheek and put her jaw on his shoulder.

"What was that for?" he asked smiling but he didn't turn to her, he was too concentrated in making some kind of spaghetti sauce.

"Nothing", she said and smelled the air, it smelled heavenly.

"You like?" he asked and turned the cooker off. He put the kettle to a cold cooking plate. He turned to her and looked at her for a few seconds.

A shiver ran through her spine as she noticed the warmth of his eyes vanish, again. It had happened a few times earlier during the day and he had become very cold after that.

He crashed his lips on hers. She hadn't expect that and he took the chance, ravished her mouth and before she knew what was happening, she was bent down on the kitchen table, Sasuke still kissing her. His lips were on her neck and going down, his hands under her shirt.

Her mind was screaming "no", she was scared of him when the warmth and kindness disappeared from him. It didn't feel right, she didn't want to do make love with him. She didn't even know him for god's sake.

"Sasuke… no", she whispered trying to ignore tingling sensation she had in her lower stomach.

"What?" he asked almost angrily and looked at her with piercing eyes.

'He's not used to being said "no"', she thought.

"I don't want to…" she said quietly partly hoping that he wouldn't hear her.

"Excuse me?" he asked again. His eyes were still trying to pierce her.

"I don't feel so good, it's about the concussion. I feel sick", she lied remembering everything about concussions. Patient often felt sick after hitting their heads and it was a sign of having a concussion.

Slowly, he retreated from the table, drawing his hands back. He was dead silent, it scared her.

"I'm sorry", she said quietly hoping it would make him less angry but she knew it was hopeless as long as he was like that, cold. She sat on a kitchen chair and fell in her thoughts.

"It's okay", he said and started setting the table, "I trust you feel good enough to eat."

"I guess…"

* * *

Kakashi was in a hurry to read as much as he could about Blood Wash before he would leave. He knew he wouldn't have a lot of time to read and he needed to know the basics. He needed to know what he should do when he had her in his arms, what he would have to do to make her remember again. There wasn't much information of the jutsu and all the information there was in Konoha about it, was a 20 year old diary of a ninja who used a Blood Wash on many of his comrades. He was sent to jail later for it.

He had kept a diary with all of his experiments but it wasn't informative enought, they were just his short notes of things. The copy nin' hoped the short notes would be enough because it was all he got and he didn't know how to improvise.

19.10.1978, Day 1:

Makoto has just woken up. He doesn't remember anything. I tested how much he believes in what I say and I noticed that whatever I say to him that he likes, he will like it, no matter what it is. I noticed it when he asked me if he likes to have his morning coffee with or without milk. Before my experiment, he hated coffee with milk but when I told him that he likes the milk, he drank 3 cups of café au lait. Later, I took him training and I told him that he likes to kill his victims from behind using a knife, I wonder if he'll start a killing spree…

Another note is that the bonds he had in his previous life, as I like to call it, have not been forgotten completely, he feels familiarity with certain things or with certain persons. The stronger the bond was, the more he remembers but he can't place his memories into a right order… He remembers some things about our previous friendship, I wonder if his memories will get stronger or fade out completely.

* * *

**A/N: Ah, I think you noticed my little addition to this chapter about reading your favourite book and it's sequels. Haha. I feel like rereading the whole Twilight series. Okay, so apart from updating this story, I'll be writing a lot of original stuff. Now I'm working on a lovestory that happens in a haunted hause. I'm so excited to start writing it!! So, if you wanna ask me about anything, feel free to message me or anything about anything, just message me and I'll reply. Please review!  
**


	23. Tormented Men

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto ****or its characters. I only own my plot and a few ocs. **

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update!! I still had one test to do and I did it pretty well, though it was very easy. I'll be writing like every day to write more chapters and this story will be finished quite soon. **

**And thank you for everyone who has reviewed!! **

* * *

20.10.1978 Day 2:

The side effects of Blood Wash are starting to wear out. Makoto's building his own identity by the things I tell him. His character is completely new, just as I wanted it. He is starting to be the person I want him to be. I've already started teaching him new jutsus, fighting styles and new ways to torture a man. He will be perfect commander… in my future army.

Frustrated, the copy ninja placed onto his nightstand. He had tried to sleep but he couldn't stop thinking about certain someone. He had decided to read the diary and read it 3 times through. There was nothing that could help him. They were just old notes and clearly, the writer hadn't wanted to share his knowledge with anyone not even with his diary.

He looked at his clock on the nightstand, it was past 3 am. He'd leave in about two hours and he hadn't slept at all. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, in and out. For a moment breathing like that helped but then his thoughts took over his mind, again.

He wished that Ino was awake, he had so many questions for her. But she had never woken up after taking the trip to Sakura's mind. Had she been awake, she could've told him if he had any hope of getting the pink haired woman back, who was he up against and what to expect. But speculating didn't do any good and he knew it so he tried to suppress those thoughts.

He hated feeling how he felt at the moment, like there was a big black hole in his chest and it was about to get bigger and suck everything to its nothingness. He had never been sick of worry before, he had never been very emotional person and he had never been happier than he used to when she was around. He regretted the fact that he hadn't shown his emotions more. He hoped that she had known all along, she had seen through the walls time had built inside of him.

Her scent still lingered in his room. It was fresh lemons and something… soft, mild and intriguing.

_FLASHBACK_

_He was lying on his bed looking at the ceiling. He was tired but he couldn't sleep. He shifted over to his left side, facing Sakura._

_Her eyes were open and she smiled her adorable tired smile to him, it surprised him. He had believed she was asleep and the rhythm of her breathing had been just as if she had been asleep._

"_How--?" he began asking but she pressed her finger on his lips._

"_Shh… I know a trick", she whispered quietly but still smiling. He was about to ask something again but her glare silenced him. _

_She pushed his right shoulder, he didn't resist and let himself fall on his back again. She moved closer to him and placed her head against his arm while her fingers ran to his chest and stomach._

_Her fingers felt nice__, his thoughts began to turn a bit cloudy. He realized she was using her chakra to make him sleep._

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

* * *

The word cellar is usually used for a room beneath a house and it is often very small, cold and storage for potatoes, wine or random things or just objects that people wish to keep out of sight. But the "cellar" Sasuke brought his jade eyed fiancée was far from the usual assumption that people have of cellars.

It was hard for her to think about the place as cellar because the room was very high, the walls were painted light brown, like coffee with milk. There were white but transparent curtains hanging from the ceiling against some of the walls even though there were no windows. There were also the same kinds of cloths all over the room, hanging from the ceiling. Some of them were narrow and some of them were wide.

One of the walls was covered with different kinds of weapons, everything from katanas to kunais with diamonds planted on the handles. But that was about it, there were just a lot of space, curtains and weapons.

'_A training place'_, she thought smiling.

"We have a mission coming up and I thought it'd be best if we trained a bit before the… big day", he said and walked to the wall with the weapons.

She walked closer to him but stopped in front of one of those cloths. It was very narrow just about 2 inches wide. She studied it and realized that the cloth was very strong material though it didn't look like it.

"What is it about?" she asked and wrapped the curtain 3 times around her arm, from the wrist to her elbow. She pulled herself up from the floor with that hand and slowly, down.

"There's this man, a ninja, very powerful and respected in some ways, he's been teaching some jutsus that we have taught him, jutsus that weren't his to give away. And, he's been giving information about us to people he shouldn't have", he explained and took a katana from the wall.

"Us?" she asked. She had done 5 pull-ups already.

"Yeah, you and I… we're part of this organisation and he's an enemy of us", he explained and turned to look at her.

"Okay… Do they pay us well?" she smiled and let go of the white cloth.

"Yes, they pay us well. Money and power", he laughed, "ready to start training?"

"Hey, don't I get a weapon?" she exclaimed as he took his fighting stance.

"No, too late", he smiled and rushed to her.

He was fast and she had to do her everything to avoid his attacks. But every now and then she felt the sword cut her shirt or pants, reminding her that she was too slow.

Landing a punch or a kick on Sasuke wasn't an easy job, every time she tried something, a roundhouse kick or a punch to his chest, he had already moved away and attacking her.

She used most of her energy to avoid his katana but he was way beyond her league. She noticed his eyes were cold again, no warmth in his presence, like he was a dead man. His attacks were more powerful than necessary and he started scaring her more than he usually did. For a moment she felt like their sparring match was about life and death, not about training her and refreshing her memory.

"Attack me!" he almost yelled his voice burning with anger.

The sword sliced a bit of her shirt, again. She tried a side kick but he blocked it with the katana. She was getting frustrated and with that, her attacks got sloppier.

The situation felt familiar somehow, training against someone way too fast and powerful. Someone pushing her over the edge, trying to make her do better. That familiarity brought a warm feeling to her, a feeling she could never describe with words.

Suddenly, she felt something sharp on her shoulder and then some blood rushed out of the wound. She had been distracted with the new feeling and oblivious to his attacks.

"You're not even trying", his cold voice notified.

The warm feeling disappeared.

For a second or two, she got several short flashbacks of her training with someone. She could tell it was a man but she couldn't see his face. Like in dreams, people don't have faces but you recognize them by their voice or presence. She didn't know the presence but it felt warm, safe and soft. Something she'd want to drown herself in.

She felt the katana slicing her left leg this time.

"Concentrate!" he yelled.

Determination took over her, she needed more time to think about her new cloudy flashbacks, the warm presence in them so she needed to win the match. She started blocking his attacks and landing some kicks around his body. She knew he wanted her to be angry and she would've been but not with the new memories. She knew anger would make her moves sloppier but more powerful. But her new determination, that would ensure her win at least for a short time but she had an ugly feeling that they'd be sparring fours hours… and hours.

* * *

It was dark and quiet, a perfect set-up for thinking and there was no one nearby, which meant no distractions. Naruto was sitting on a kitchen chair deep in his thoughts. His teacup on the table had cooled hours ago.

He was thinking about their situation, his suspicions and his best friend, Sakura. Tsunade had told him about the mind jutsu someone had used on her. He knew there was no evidence indicating that it was Sasuke but he knew that it was. Or he more like assumed it was but left no space for being wrong.

He was glad that it was Kakashi who'd bring her back. He had seen him growing feelings for her, taking care of her and giving her everything she needed. He had seen both of them falling for each other. He hadn't asked any questions, he hadn't said anything. And, he knew if someone could bring her back, that'd be him. On the other hand, he would've too done his everything to get her back but destroying Akatsuki and hopefully Sasuke with it was his first priority.

There was something he had seen once a long time ago, a year and some months ago, maybe. Something he hadn't known how to tell about and it had made him swear he'd do everything in his power to protect his best friend from Sasuke.

_FLASHBACK_

_Naruto was standing on__ the roof of the tallest building of Konoha. He loved the view, he could see the whole village, his village. The sun was setting and the rays of sun gave everything a golden tint. It was peaceful and beautiful._

_He would have no missions for a couple weeks and the team 7 had finished their training earlier during the day so he was a bit bored. __He decided he could go and tease Sakura. He wanted to know how many decibels he'd get out of her just by sneaking from behind her and scaring her. Even though he had matured a lot, he had never lost his playful self. _

_He masked his presence and leaped__ down from the roof. He landed on the ground without making any kind of sound. He closed his eyes and concentrated on how her presence felt like. _

'_West', he thought. He had become very good at sensing people's presences if he really concentrated. First they were very faint but as he followed his senses, the presences grew stronger and the rest was like walking in snow, following someone's footsteps to them. _

_The closer he reached her, he started realizing she wasn't alone. He wasn't completely sure who it was but he had a hunch that it was Sasuke. Sasuke's presence had changed, he had a bit different presence before he left the village and when he had returned, he noticed that his presence had gotten something new. He couldn't quite place what was the new thing but he didn't like it, whatever it was._

_He slowed his pace and jumped to a tree in front of him, he didn't want to be seen. He kept going to their presences, they were at their usual training place._

'_Have they been there all along…? Or agreed to meet each other after the training session? But they never talk these days… I wonder what's going on', he thought._

_He saw__ them, he was about 30 yards away from them. Sakura was sitting on the ground, her eyes were wide, she was silent, just staring at nothing. Sasuke was bent next to her, he was whispering something to her but Naruto couldn't hear what. It seemed as if he said something really bad and she was in a shock. _

_He wasn't sure if he should go and interrupt them. It might worsen the situation. He decided to stay in the tree and watch. If they started fighting, he'd go in between them. He didn't want his friends to kill each other._

_Sasuke kept whispering but suddenly Sakura seemed to regain her thoughts and she slapped him. The onyx eyed ninja hadn't expected that, he lifted his hand to his cheek and did something unsuspected, he started laughing. _

'_This is bad, this is very bad', the blonde haired man thought in a panic. He knew he couldn't go there just like that, something about the situation and the atmosphere between his friends told him to stay away. _

_The Uchiha prodigy stopped laughing as suddenly as he had started it. He grew angry, he tried to slap her back but she blocked it. Naruto noticed she was crying now. Sasuke pushed her down to the ground and pinned her down._

_Naruto's head was empty, he wasn't sure what was happening, he didn't know what to do. He had noticed a long time ago that they despised each other but he hadn't known that it was this bad. He seemed so cold towards her and she did her everything to avoid him. Naruto had always thought that if it came to taking up sides, he'd take Sakura's, Sasuke had changed too much, not in a good way._

'_Why isn't she fighting back?!' he thought in a shock. That did it, she was in a shock and he'd hurt her soon if he hadn't already. Not a second passed and he was behind Sasuke, he hit his head with all his strength. _

_Luckily, the hit had been strong enough to knock him out immediately. He lifted him from her and pushed aside. She didn't react, she just stared at nothing with glassy eyes, tears pouring from her eyes… _

"_Sakura? What happened? Are you alright?" he asked and picked her up from the ground. He'd take her home and make sure she was alright. _

_She didn't reply, she barely breathed. He noticed her shirt was torn, from the collar to the hem of the shirt. With one hand he adjusted the shirt so that no one would suspect anything, he knew Sakura wouldn't want people to know what had happened._

_He took her home and she fell asleep. He guarded her in her sleep. But when the morning came, she didn't remember anything that had happened after their training session had ended. _

_From that day, he was actually scared for her. From that day, he didn't consider Sasuke his friend anymore. He swore he'd protect her, he swore he'd get Sasuke suffer the consequences of his actions. _

_But he didn't say anything to Sasuke, he still thought they were friends. The onyx eyed man hadn't seen Naruto before he knocked him out, he had no idea. _

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

He knew there was much more than that what had happened between Sakura and Sasuke. About a week later of his memory Neji had told him that he had seen the Uchiha prodigy trying to rape her. He had been talking to everyone, asking if they knew what was going between them.

One morning a long time ago, she had missed the morning training and Sasuke had arrived late. He had went to her apartment to look for her, he hadn't bothered to go and knock on the door, he just went straight to the living room window.

He had heard two persons talking, they were in the bathroom. He had walked to her bedroom and found her bed dripping with blood. And, before he knew it Shizune emerged from the bathroom. They both had stared each other with horrified expressions. But before he could've had the time to ask anything, she made a sign silencing him. She quickly had told him that she was alright now but he needed to leave. It wouldn't have done any good for her to find out that Naruto had come by. She had promised him to tell him what had happened if he left right away. He did and a day later, he had heard everything from her.

He slightly shook his head, trying to think of something else. He took the teacup from the table and drank its contents, it was cold and therefore tasted bad but it didn't matter.

He looked at the clock, it was past 7 am. Kakashi should be there quite soon, he knew the copy ninja would use all of his energy to be there as soon as possible, he wouldn't stop to rest many times, maybe once or twice. A normal ninja would travel the same distance in 12 hours or so, Kakashi would make it in 5 hours.

* * *

The pink haired kunoichi dragged herself upstairs, to her and Sasuke's bedroom. She could barely walk and she had to lean on the walls to keep herself from fainting.

When she reached the bedroom, she just took her clothes off, let the fall on the floor and she fell on the bed, on his side. She closed her eyes and was about to fall asleep when Sasuke started speaking: "You're on my side, you know."

"Ah", was all she could say. She was too tired to think what she was supposed to answer or to do. She heard him taking steps towards her and then he sat next to her.

His hand ran across her bare back. His fingers were gentle as he drew circles on her skin.

"Mmm", she mumbled to the pillow.

"You like it", he said quietly but didn't stop caressing her.

"Mmm. Come to bed, I wanna sleep", she mumbled and hugged the pillow tighter.

"Alright… I'll sleep on your side, this time", he laughed and she felt him getting of the bed.

She was about to fall asleep again but he started talking again: "One more thing… We'll train like today from now on."

"Oh no", she groaned.

"Oh, yes", he laughed. He took his shirt and pants off, placed them back in his closet. He tried to be as quiet as he could, he didn't want to wake her because he knew she'd be edgy in the morning if she hadn't slept enough.

Sasuke went to bed next to her. He looked at the ceiling and sighed. He cursed his situation, he was in a dead end. He could do nothing, nothing. Things were out of his power.

"I'm so sorry… Sakura", he whispered as he felt **him** taking over him again.

* * *

**A/N: Please review or message me if you have any constructive critism or ideas or suggestions or anyyyyything!! **


	24. RendezVous

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters.**

**A/N: Hell yea!! A new chapter!! Okay, so, I'm really sorry, there was a bit of SasuSaku in the last chapter and there will be very little more. Just very very very very little. And, this story is coming to its end quite soon, or well, I thought so but then I came up with the perfect side plot thinggy. So, this story will be about... maybe 30 chapters or so. Here are some songs that have inspired me for the future chapters and so:**

**Emelie Autumn - Shallot**

**Sweetbox - Every Step **

**Hilary Duff - Stranger**

**Vanessa Carlton - Dark Carnival**

**Paramore - Conspiracy**

**Oh, and Angel of Blood, it seems like you can't receive the message I send to you... So, enable your messages or send me e-mail but enable my email address or something.  
**

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"I have to get out, I **need **to get out, I **must** get out", the jade eyed woman thought in panic. She felt as if she was going to burst into tears any moment. She needed to be alone and she didn't want Sasuke to find out the feelings she was hiding inside of her.

"I'm going out!" she yelled in front of their front door and left. The second she was outside, she ran. She didn't know the neighbourhood, she didn't know anyone there but she didn't care. She needed to get somewhere, anywhere and cry.

She ran as fast as she could, through the town, past all the shops, motels, parks and a lot of people. She received many curious looks but she was oblivious to them all. She lost her sense of time, place and direction. She ran 'til her lungs and knees gave out.

She crashed to the ground and started crying. She was already out of breath from all the running and her crying didn't help breathing. She felt like she was about to faint but somehow she didn't. After some minutes, her crying and breathing found a rhythm together. She was lying on her left side, she grabbed the grass on the ground and ripped it, she did it for no reason in particular but it helped her to channel her anger and frustration.

She cried because she was alone, Sasuke couldn't be counted as company. She had no friends, no life and she felt like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She couldn't live without her heart, it wouldn't be a life without it.

A faint memory of someone holding her when she was crying popped into her mind. She knew right away it wasn't Sasuke. He wasn't the kind of man who'd comfort a woman, he wasn't the kind of man who she would end up marrying. Maybe there had been some kind of love before but not anymore. She wasn't in love with him and she knew he wasn't in love with her either. He wasn't the kind of man who'd simply… love. Maybe he thought he was in love or maybe he just wanted a child very much but it wasn't love what he showed her.

But who was the man in her faint memories? Had she been in love with him? Had she had an affair with him? Why hadn't she left Sasuke for him? All those questions ran in her head, which gave her plenty of reasons to cry more. Why couldn't she be with him?

She started understanding her weird feelings better, why she had felt like her heart was missing and why she wasn't in love with Sasuke. She was in love but she didn't know with whom, which made her miserable. It was clear, every time she thought about the warm presence and her faint memories, she felt pain as if it was slicing her guts into pieces but when she only thought about the man in her cloudy memories, she felt warm as if there were literally sparks inside of her. But that realisation made her more miserable.

But there was a reason she was with Sasuke. She wondered why. If there was a person in the world that she loved and who most likely loved her back, why wasn't she with him? Had he left her? Was he not in love with her? That thought made her wince.

As she slowly, stopped crying, she started looking around. She was in a small clearing. There were trees and small rocks all over, everything was green. She didn't bother getting up, she had no reason to. A small part of her wished she had brought her weapons with her, she could've sliced her wrists and bleed to death.

'It wouldn't hurt this much anymore… I'm so tired, I could rest. Finally actually sleep. Physically, it'd hurt but that would make this pain lesser. I wish I… didn't exist', she thought and closed her eyes.

She was exhausted, not from just the running. She had to keep her feelings hidden every time she was in that house which was all the time. She had to fake happiness and hope that he wouldn't notice a thing.

Suddenly she realised she wasn't alone, she felt a presence nearby. She got up from the ground quickly and started concentrating on the presence she had felt. Whoever it had been, s/he had already masked his/her presence. She was on full alert, ready to fight or run away. Adrenaline rushed in her veins but no one seemed to show up.

She kept looking around but couldn't see anyone. After a while of just standing there perfectly still and waiting someone to attack her made her feel like a complete idiot and she turned away to go back "home".

As she turned around, she saw a man standing there a few meters away. She couldn't help but staring at him. _'Why couldn't I sense him?'_, she thought as she studied his features. He was very tall, he had silvery hair that defied the laws of gravitation and his body was perfectly between lean and muscular. He was wearing a mask that covered his face below his eyes and he was wearing forehead plate covering his left eye. The forehead plate didn't have any mark of any ninja village and she wondered why.

"Excuse me, miss", he said slowly and she was in a heaven, "I'm kind of lost, could you tell me how to get to the nearest town?" This beautiful creature was talking to her. From all the people, he was talking to **her**, she didn't even realise that there was nobody else around…

"I… um", she started but then remembered that she was too lost, in a way. She had run and run, blinded with her tears and she had lost her sense of direction. "I can't", she said smiling. She couldn't help but smiling.

"You can't?" he asked, his voice was amused.

"Eh, I got a bit lost myself, too", she laughed and tried to tear her gaze away from him but failed. She started feeling stupid, staring at him like that. He was a total gorgeous stranger and she felt teenager filled with hormones again.

He was about to say something back but suddenly there was a glint of something in his eye and he vanished. She just stared at the empty place he had left dumfounded.

"What?" she asked from herself not sure if she had imagined him.

"Chinatsu!" she heard her fiancé calling.

All the feelings that had made her cry earlier came back. She wanted to run from him and have another crying attack even though she hated being that weak and showing her own emotions so strongly even to herself.

* * *

Naruto looked around the room full of people, everyone except Sasuke was there. They; Naruto himself, Neji, Tenten, Kiba, Shino, Genma, Kurenai and Shizune were gathered around a big table. There was a big ground plan spread on the table, there were also nine files. There was a picture of a ninja on every file.

"Kurenai, tell me what you got?" the blonde man asked anxiously. Most of the ninjas in their mission had been spying on Akatsuki, tracking their every move down. He hoped the new information would give him an exact date, date when their enemy would be brought down, completely and forever

"Akatsuki is leaving the town in about 3 months. We need to make our move before that because they'll go in separate ways. They'll be searching for new Gekkai Kenkais and ways to steal one's Blood line technique", she explained quickly and placed another file on the table.

"Alright, Neji and Kiba?" he asked looking at the two man on the other side of the table.

"They're getting a new member, we don't know who but apparently the ninja is a she and she knows a lot of medical jutsus", Neji said slowly and stared at Naruto. No one said a thing, he had told to them about Sakura's disappearing, how Sasuke might have had something to do with it and about his suspicions of the Uchiha prodigy actually being the enemy.

"When Kakashi is to arrive?" Genma asked quickly trying to ease the heavy silence.

"Any minute now, I guess", the blonde haired man said. He started drumming the table with the fingers of his left hand. They all had learnt that it meant he was thinking and about to say something.

"What a guy wouldn't do for his girl", Genma chuckled and received a death glare from Shizune.

"Yeah… Shino and Tenten, have you come up with anything good?" Naruto asked and stopped drumming.

"We have the best chance in taking them down by first, eliminating their allies and then take three or four of them alone. Then attack the rest of them together", Shino explained, "but we need to take the medic down first, we can't risk it that we incapacitate a few of them and the medic brings them back."

Naruto hoped from all of his heart that it was someone else than Sasuke who had taken Sakura. If it was, the new medic for Akatsuki would most likely be Sakura and he didn't like the idea.

"But they would start taking counter actions if suddenly members of Akatsuki start dying", Kurenai notified.

"Yeah they would", Tenten sighed, she sounded sad and she looked at Shino.

"So, you suggest four of us would take down the four members of Akatsuki at the same time, in different places as the rest of the team goes to the mansion", Genma said quietly. He didn't like the idea, nobody of them did. It would be a suicide mission.

The tension in the room tightened, this was the hardest mission of their lives. They knew many of them would die if not everyone.

Kurenai sat down on a chair behind her and inhaled deeply, "There's have to be another way and there's not enough of us, if we count Sasuke and the new ninja… there are 12 members in Akatsuki and only 9 of us."

"11 members in Akatsuki and 10 of us", Naruto corrected and everyone looked at him, "Sky… he's on our side."

"We still won't stand a chance against them", Neji joined the conversation.

"I'm sure Tsunade will send a few new ninjas for the final attack", Shizune said with a tint of hope in her voice.

"A few more ninjas sent to their death", Genma said.

"No, you'd have to lure two of them a day before the final attack from the mansion and kill them. If everything goes right, there will be 8 of them and 9 of us. It needs to be done quickly", someone said from the doorway to the room. Everyone looked at the black haired man, their friend Shikamaru.

"Shikamaru!!" Naruto exclaimed, he was happy too see his friend again. Now the part of their team which was planning the whole attack against Akatsuki was whole again. He hoped his friend had some new, helpful and good information.

"I found Daito, as you wanted. And he told me everything, though it wasn't easy, he's afraid they're going to kill him now", the genius said and walked to the table.

"And…?" the blonde haired man asked anxiously, he had noticed Shikamaru was in a cheerful mood and a cheerful mood always meant something good information.

"I've got information about everyone's weaknesses, strengths and special jutsus. I also formed a small plan on how killing the Uchihas", he said lazily and lifted his hands to the back of his head as if he was bored and as if the whole mission was just a piece of cake.

* * *

Tsunade was standing next to Ino's hospital bed. She looked very peaceful as she was deep in coma.

She gripped tightly to the small ampoule she had in her hand. It had taken days for her to prepare the medicine and it hadn't been tested on anyone, ever. She hoped it would work, it would grand Kakashi some vital information about Sakura's situation. The medicine might also kill Ino, which made the Hokage hesitate, she didn't want to lose one of the best and only ninjas capable of doing mind jutsus.

'_No, it needs to be done. I followed the instructions and I was as careful as I could've been. It should work'_, she thought.

Slowly, she walked closer to the younger woman. She took a new hypo from the pocket of her white coat and filled it with the contents of the ampoule. She injected the medicine to the artery of Ino's hand and waited. She placed the empty ampoule and hypo to the nightstand.

She took the younger kunoichi's hand and checked her pulse for a minute or two, she was counting the beats of her heart and her heartbeat was getting quicker and stronger. _'It's working'_, she thought smiling and placed Ino's hand gently back on the bed.

She needed to stay with her and wait 'til the blue eyed woman would wake up. She had no idea how she would react to waking up again and would she remember anything for a few days. She took a chair from the other side of the room and placed it next to Ino's bed. It might take hours for her to wake up so sitting on a chair would be more comfortable than standing.

She noticed that Ino's coma had turned into sleep from NREM to REM precisely and she was mumbling in her sleep. Normally it would take 90 to 110 minutes from NREM sleep to turn into REM sleep but with Ino, it happened with tens of minutes.

It didn't take long for Ino to open her eyes after her slumber had turned into light sleep.

"Eowch… My head hurts", the younger woman groaned from the bed. The lady Hokage got off the chair and walked to the bed.

"Are you alright?" Tsunade asked.

"Yeah, yeah… Just a major head ache and a bit hungry" she said and looked around the bright room and back at the Hokage.

"What happened? Why am I here?" the younger female asked.

"You went into Sakura's mind and you failed your mission… then you fell into coma", Tsunade explained looking sternly at the awoken woman. She took a small flashlight from the pocket of her coat and checked Ino's eyes. Her pupils reacted normally to the light, her brainstem functions were ok.

"Oh… I don't remember that…"

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Well, there was this party… Sakura's party, oh yeah, she became a Jounin", Ino said, she had closed her eyes and she was clearly searching her mind for more information and memories.

"That happened about two months ago, a little less, I think", the lady Hokage said in a worried tone.

"Oh… Ouch", she exclaimed and brought her hands to her head as if to shield it form an attack. "That explains a few things", she said quietly after holding her head for some seconds.

"What?"

"I'm getting my memory back, I presume", she said and kept her eyes closed.

"It makes your head hurt more", it wasn't a question, a statement waiting for explanation.

"Yes, I think my mind is trying to protect itself and resist the memories and the amount of information my subconscious is dying to throw me at, which is causing me this headache."

"Ah, yes, can I get you something? I think you will have to spend the night in here just in case."

"Morphine", Ino laughed 'til she received another flashback.

"I see your coma hasn't killed your sense of humour", the lady Hokage said smiling, "I'll get you some food, is some soup okay?"

"Yep, perfect."

* * *

Sasuke had been acting weirdly ever since he "rescued" his fiancée from the woods. All day, he had been trying to say something and every time he had decided to say it, he had changed his mind. So, instead of talking, he had made them train. They trained harder than they had before.

She was on the floor in their "cellar", she felt like she couldn't move a muscle, finish a thought or blink anymore. Her energy and chakra was all gone, it had been gone for an hour or two already and she had no idea how she had managed so far.

"I can't… anymore", she said between inhaling and exhaling.

"We need to train more", he said and walked to her. He reached out his hand for her but she didn't even have the strength to lift her hand up to meet his.

"I can't… and the mission's going to go fine but Sasuke, really, I can't train anymore", she forced the words out of her mouth and continued breathing heavily.

"It's not about the mission. You just need to be ready."

"Huh?"

"They're going to make you fight and if you win, they'll make it official and you'll be part of our group", he explained.

"I'm not a member yet? What's the name of the group?"

"Not officially yet and it's Akatsuki", he said and reached his hand for her again, "let's go eat and then train some more."

"Sasuke, I'd love to get up from the floor but I just can't", she sighed and closed her eyes, she felt like she could fall asleep any minute.

"And if I carried you to kitchen?"

"You'd have to cook by yourself, you'd have to eat by yourself and you'd have to have a conversation with yourself. I'd fall asleep on the chair", she laughed weakly.

"If I carried you to bed?"

"You'd have to bear the fact that I'm going to sleep for a long, long, long, long, long, long time", she yawned, the thought of a soft and warm bed made her body ache for rest.

"Alright but tomorrow", he smiled and picked her up from the floor.

"Tomorrow… what?" she mumbled to his chest, trying her best not to fall asleep.

"We're going to train", he laughed.

"How many times have you been engaged?" she mumbled and fought her eyes open.

"Huh?"

"Because I think you've killed your former girls by training them too much", she said.

"Chinatsu, that's purely illogical", he laughed but she didn't hear him anymore.

* * *

Kakashi walked into a huge house which looked like it had been empty for years, maybe even decades. It was a stone house with 2 floors, it had small windows and a large chimney.

But as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light inside of the house, he realised it had been far from abandoned. He was in a foyer, the walls were very light and there was a small chandelier hanging from the ceiling. There were coat-racks on the wall on his left, apart from the front door behind him, there were two other doors; one about 10 meters away in front of him and one on his right. Right next to the door in front of him, there was a big staircase leading up to the second floor.

He noticed there was no dust anywhere and there usually was a lot of it when a team occupied an old house. _'So, there are also women part of this mission'_, he thought and turned his look upon the coat-racks, there were only a few coats. _'I wonder if Naruto's here…'_

Before he could even try to decide which door use and try to find Naruto, Genma came from the door from the left.

"Yo, Kakashi!" he laughed.

"Yo", the silver haired man said and walked to his old friend.

"You're here late", Genma grinned, "we thought you'd have gotten here more quickly. Try to find your girl as soon as possible."

"I actually found her already… Where's Naruto?"

"Oh, he's in the kitchen. Where is she now?" the brown haired man asked as he lead his friend through the door on the left side of the room. There was an also impressively big room with a very high ceiling, it was a living room of some kind, there was a fireplace and a lot of sofas circling a coffee table. The window of the room was covered with dark red curtains and there were candles all around lighting the room.

"I don't know. I only met her very quickly, didn't remember me though", he sighed.

Genma lead him through another door and they reached the kitchen and the dining room. It looked very modern, there was even a bar partly separating the kitchen area from the dining room area. The kitchen was basically two cooking counters facing each other and there was about a meter and a half space between them. The counters were about 3 meters long, each. Naruto was sitting on a chair at the dining area.

The two rooms together were light also by candles and the windows were covered with dark curtains, no light escaped inside.

"Yo", Kakashi said smiling.

"Hey, we thought you would've arrived sooner", Naruto said with a confused smile.

"Uh, yeah, I would've but I bumped into Sakura and then followed her back home and then I needed to track down this place", the Copy Ninja explained and walked to the dining area followed by his brown haired friend.

"Oh, where is she? Was she alone? Did she remember you?" the blonde haired man asked. Kakashi sat on the other side of the table, facing Naruto.

"She lives quite near… It's a big white house just at the edge of the town. She was alone but then Sasuke came to get her and no, she didn't remember me."

"She was with Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, she was alone in the woods first and then he came. I think he was searching for her. He calls her… Chinatsu."

"Chinatsu? A thousand mornings… Wonder why that name?" Genma pondered and took a seat next to Kakashi.

"Yeah, and she has black hair these days… Short and black."

"He officially is breaking the rules of this mission. So, we are allowed to start spying on him", the youngest ninja thought aloud.

"Sasuke is still a part of this mission? I thought it would've taken less time for him to do betray Konoha or something like that", Kakashi thought aloud.

"Yeah, well, now we need to figure out how exactly to take Akatsuki down and Sasuke down with them", Naruto said and looked at his former teacher, he closed a file in front of him and slid it across the table to the older ninja, "but… Tsunade told me I am to give you all the information we've got this far, that's about it in a nutshell."

"Thanks", the Copy ninja said and opened the file. He flipped the pages 'til he found the page about Sasuke. Quickly, he read the page and flipped another page, it was about Sky. "Wait… Sky's on our side?" he asked and looked at his former student.

"Yeah, he's with us. He's a long term undercover ninja, he's also with Akatsuki."

"Kakashi…" Genma said quietly, "they're getting a new member."

"Huh?" the silver haired man was confused, what did that have to do with anything? He looked both of them with a puzzled look on his face.

"A female, a ninja who knows medical jutsus… the rumour says she knows more than Tsunade herself", the brown haired man continued.

"No", Kakashi said simply. He wouldn't allow it, he didn't want her to even be in the same room with **them**. She wouldn't be able to run away if she was part of them, not even if she got her memory back. They'd have to take them all down and she'd have to escape right then.

"Kakashi… we're taking them all down and if she's totally with them…" Genma's sentence trailed off, he didn't want to finish it.

The Copy ninja turned his look upon his old friend, if a look could kill, his friend would've been crucified.

"You're not killing her", Kakashi said with a very cold voice, nobody had ever seen him that angry. He wasn't the kind of man who'd yell and throw things, he just went deadly cold. He was more lethal when he was angry. His voice had no warmth and his eyes were cold as icy stones. Losing her wasn't an option.

"We won't kill Sakura", Naruto said quickly, his former teacher scared him and usually nothing, absolutely nothing scared him, "there has to be another way."

"But if she's totally brainwashed, if there's nothing of the old Sakura left…" the brown haired man continued, not knowing in how big danger he was in by saying those words.

"No, she's still in there… Today, when I saw her, she had run very far away from here and she was crying… on the ground. And when we met, it was… she looked at me like… no… she's still in there. I'll bring her back", Kakashi said, he was deep in his thoughts. He was going back on the moments he saw again, trying to remember every detail.

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**A/N: please review!! Next chapter will be up um... in some weeks or days. Most likely weeks. XD**


	25. Wind of Change

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. **

**A/N: Alright, once again, sorry for being such a ... and for not updating. I'm just gonna say that I've had the worst depression period for about half a year and it hit the roof a month ago. But things are getting back to normal again and I'm trying to write as much as possible. But I'm also writing a book (in English of course) and it's going to be published soooo... Yeah. If anyone wants to read it and give me some constructive critisism, I'd be happy to send you some chapters. Okay, enough of babbling. Have fun reading and please, oh, please review.**

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Sasuke had been gone, running on some mysterious errands and doing short missions for a couple of weeks, which had given his fiancée a lot of time for herself. Some of her "free time" she spent training and reading jutsus, some of it she spent by lying on the bottom of a bathtub full of warm water. She had had also a lot of time to sort her thoughts and think about her future.

She had come to the conclusion about the mysterious man that he was just a dream. She knew it was irrational but in a weird way, it hurt to think that he was real. _'Sometimes lying and living in a lie is safer than…'_, she had thought but hadn't dare to finish her thought.

Her thoughts about Sasuke were in contradiction. She knew whatever would happen, she'd stand by him. She felt very loyal to him, in a neurotic way. She couldn't even think about double-crossing him, it wasn't even an option in her mind. The solidarity she felt scared her.

But one thing she was absolutely sure, she couldn't wait for her mission. She needed the action, the adrenaline and the fighting, part of her thirsted for a kill. She tried not to think about that part of herself. But every time she was in the same room with Sasuke, she wished he'd tell her when it was the time for her mission.

She placed a book she had been reading to the coffee table in front of her. It was getting late and she was tired. She yawned and stretched out her arms. She had lost her track of time reading the book. It had been about forbidden medical jutsus, what they can do to a human body at their best… or worst. She knew some of those and wondered who had taught those to her.

She moved a red blanket under which she had been reading to the other side of the couch and got up. She was too tired to start thinking about things she hadn't answers and most likely wouldn't get answers to.

Yawning, she walked to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. Again, yawning, she walked to upstairs and threw herself on the bed. She quietly thanked any higher power existing for the fact that she had changed into her pyjamas a few hours ago, she wouldn't have had the strength to change anymore.

She crawled under the comforter and breathed in deeply. She had a feeling that it would be another night she wouldn't get enough sleep. But she was happy for the fact that Sasuke wasn't there at the moment. Now, she didn't have to pretend to be asleep or avoid questions about their non-existing sex life and when it wouldn't be so non-existing anymore.

She closed her eyes and listened to her breathing. Some old song was ringing in her head. She thought it was from her childhood and she fell asleep listening to it.

* * *

"Ino, stop it, you are **not **going", Tsunade warned.

Ino was packing her bags, pacing around her room and searching for scrolls she might need on her mission. Every now and then she stopped walking and with closed eyes she held her head and groaned.

"You are in no condition to go there!"

"I am going. Kakashi can't do it on himself. He doesn't have enough information. He doesn't know how to fight with someone's SUBCONSCIOUS or how to bring something back from from…" her sentence trailed off as she felt cutting pain in her head.

"But you can't go. I'm ordering, as your Hokage to stay here. Ino, you are not going", the Hokage said angrily.

"You know that Kakashi can't do it without the information I have and I CAN'T ADVISE HIM ON THE PHONE HOW TO BRING MY BEST FRIEND BACK", Ino yelled and threw another book into her back.

"Ino, I'm warning you…" the older woman said and walked in front of her.

"I'll be careful. I'll take a 15 minute break in every hour on my way there. And I'll rest a lot. I'm having less and less of these… attacks. And you know that Naruto's team could use another ninja, and you know that Kakashi needs the information and you know, you know, you know that if you forbid me from leaving… I'd still leave. You can't stop me", Ino said furiously staring at the older woman.

Tsunade didn't say anything, she just stared back at the ninja in front of her. It seemed as if she was deep in her thoughts summing up the pros and cons.

"Please let me go, I cannot just sit here and wait. If they die…" she ended her sentence, brought her right hand to her cheek. Then she turned away and continued, "If they die, I'll blame myself for not running away from here and going to help."

"Ino, there are things in this world that we cannot control."

"I know", she cried. Her head was bowed, her hands were hanging from her shoulders as if they were dead. She felt so helpless, hopeless and dead.

"And I cannot control you. I can command you as your Hokage but I cannot control you. I can order you to do mission but you have always the right to choose and you do that with taking full responsibility of your actions."

"Are you saying—"

"—I'm saying that you may leave in the morning. Your number on priority is to help out Kakashi and whenever you can, help out Naruto."

"So… you're letting me go. And, it's a mission?"

"Yes", she sighed, "maybe I'm getting old… Letting you go too easily."

* * *

Sky paced around the room trying to calm himself down. Everything he once believed in was about to burn and die. Everything he ever wished to stood for started seeming unimportant and it all came down to one man, Sasuke.

"You're compromising our operation", Sky said quietly to the man other side of the room.

The room was dark, neither of them could barely see each other's faces. They always stayed in the dark as long as possible, it was easier to vanish into the dark if anything happened.

"I'm not. She knows nothing", Sasuke said with his cold voice and looked out of the window. It was snowing but the every snowflake melted the second it touched ground. There were people running down the street with umbrellas, hoping they wouldn't get wet. _'Idiots'_, he thought sulkily and turned looked at a young girl in the middle of the street. She wasn't trying to stay dry, in fact, she was drenching wet. She had closed her eyes and her mouth was open. It seemed to him that she was "enjoying" the moment and trying to capture snowflakes with her mouth. It made him laugh a bit, _'that's just… stupid.'_

"Well, she does know something but nothing enough to bring us down. She's with us now", the onyx eyed man continued, "and now we have someone who knows the most about killing a person, actually killing, making a body **die**. Making its cells dysfunction, wither away or starting an early aptopsis. And that is something what one would call an… **asset**."

Sky was in shock, he never believed that anyone could be as twisted as the man before him. He just stared silently at window hoping his shock wasn't way too obvious. Sasuke turned to look at him but he dared not to look back.

"But little after 9 months, you can have her. As my gift to you", the man smiled.

"The whole Konoha is after her now", Sky said and made himself look at the ninja at the window, "and if I happen to be correct, there is a few dozens of ninjas who love her and want to get her back. And, I think that I'm 101% correct there's a man who'd die to get her back."

"Hmph. Love, it's overrated, you know. When a kid is scared of the big monster under the bed, the mom always says something like, don't be scared, it's not real. So, when a man says something like, I love her with all of my heart, why doesn't anyone reply with the same thing? It's not real. Feelings are useless, they'll only bring you places you don't need to go. And if Kakashi wants to die, what's one more death in our lists?"

"Can you really kill the Copy Ninja?"

"Why not? We've had some tougher enemies than him. And besides, if I happen to be correct, I'm standing in front of another person who loves her and would die for her, am I right? Yes, I am right. And, if she's taken back to that village… we'll I'll bet you're not the one she's marrying then. So if he's ready to die for her and you're ready to die for her, too, it's a tie and as long as this all happens in the next 9 months, I'll make sure she stays here, right within my reach and protected, which would make one jump into the conclusion that we're gonna win this."

The Uchiha brother smiled his twisted smile and vanished into thin air. Sky didn't like anything that was happening, everything was getting out of hands and everything was getting too risky. He was on the verge of being discovered by the Akatsuki, which meant he hadn't a lot of time left…

* * *

Every time the Copy Ninja went out of Naruto's team's hiding place, he had to mask his presence. If he saw anyone he recognized, he had to hide right away. His appearance would compromise Naruto's mission. He wasn't famous but he couldn't afford taking any chances, his old enemies would recognize him and so would the members of Akatsuki. If he saw anyone he vaguely knew, he would change his appearance.

He was walking down the streets and thinking about the moments he had had with her about week ago. He replayed those minutes over and over again in his mind. She had been like a little child whereas he had been the lollipop. He silently laughed at that thought.

'_She's still in there…'_, he thought sadly.

He was headed to the park in the middle of the city, Naruto had pinpointed the spot on a map and he had memorised the whole map. He thought that he would go there and try to sense her presence… though the feel of it had changed a bit but it still contained something familiar. And if he could not sense her there, he'd just start looking all around the town.

'_If you should vanish, I'm sure to fade'_, he thought of a song he once heard.

The air was cold and the street was white of snow. White row of houses with shops and cafes in the street floor framed the street on both side of it. In the middle of the street there was a line of trees. 3 small maple trees in a row and those groups of trees were about 5 meters away of each other. Those trees didn't have much leaves anymore and they were wrapped with small lights. The town was pretty, he had to admit it.

Soon, he found himself in the park in the middle of the town. Many of the trees in the park were also decorated with small lights. There were many small paths crossing every other possible path and going all around. Some benches had been put next to those paths. There was more snow on the ground and he felt all Christmassy. He wondered if he could spend Christmas with her.

He saw an old couple sitting on one of the benches, he saw a couple of kids desperately trying to make snowballs but failing and their parents smiling at them.

He walked to a bench and started concentrating on Sakura's presence. It would've looked suspicious had he just stood in the middle of everyone's way and not moving. Now, people just assumed he was tired from a tough day at work.

He could feel her somewhere quite near, inside 3km radius. He got up from the bench and started heading to the direction he had sensed her.

The walk didn't take long to the house she was in. It was a big white house with two floors. It had a big brown door in the middle of the street level of the house. It had two pair of big windows on either side of the house and on both floors. There had been some flowerbeds but the cold winter had made them wither away.

He took a deep breath and thought what would be his next move. He couldn't just go and burst in to the house. He looked up to the windows and noticed one of them was open. He grinned to himself and decided to go around the house and see if other windows were open.

_Meanwhile…_

"Sasuke, have you seen my purse?" his fiancée asked. She had been going through their house and she hadn't been able to find her purse nor wallet.

"I don't know. Why do you need it?" he asked and drank some of his coffee and kept reading the morning newspaper in front of him. He placed his coffee mug back to the table.

"I need my money", she said and sat to the chair next to his. She looked at him and sighed.

"Why?" he asked and turned his gaze from the paper to her.

"Well, I think I've come up with a new jutsu. And I need to test it and I need flowers and plants… A lot. Plus I need to buy a few other things", she said and took his coffee mug and drank from it.

"How much?" he asked and started reading the paper again.

"20 000 yens", she grinned.

"20 000? What are you buying? Orchids?!"

"Well, I also need some money for a hairdresser, too. But if you knew where my purse was… You wouldn't have to loan me any money."

"I don't know where your purse is, Chinatsu", he sighed and took his wallet from the pocket from his pants. He opened it and gave the money to here, "would you buy more coffee, too?"

"Sure, sure", she laughed and got up from the chair. She left the room but came back again, "hey, when's my mission?"

"Friday you may leave. And tomorrow we need to go to our HQ. It'll be about 1 pm so make sure you'll be free then. No hairdressers", he said without looking at her.

"Oh yay! Two days!" she exclaimed and left the room. She went to their bedroom to change her clothes. She was energetic, for once she had something to do and she was dying to do anything to keep her mind occupied.

But as she walked into the bedroom she sensed that everything wasn't normal. Something flashed in the corner of her eye by her nightstand. She caught a glimpse of a figure vanishing. Quickly, she checked if anything was stolen but everything was in its place.

She closed the window next to her closet.

'_Okay, this is creepy. Wonder if Sasuke has enemies…'_, she thought and looked around not sure what to do. She didn't think it was such a good idea to tell about it to Sasuke and she didn't think it was such a good idea to keep it herself either. '_But since I don't seem to have a life apart from Sasuke… I might as well wait. If he shows up again, then I'll talk to him.'_

She stuffed the money he had given her into the pocket of her pants and let the house. She was eager to get out and eager to start a mission of her own. Something she had been planning a few days, something that hopefully would change things…

* * *

**A/N: next update will be... asap. I promise, which means I'll start writing on Thursday or Friday. Please please please review! I'll try to answer to every review I get. Anywho, I totally love you guys!! -danax**


	26. Naruto's Theory

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto its characters. Sorry.**

**A/N: This is a bit shorter chapter but I feel like now the story has started. =D And my next update will be AFTER the matriculation examinations and the last matric exam is on 20th March. I'll still be writing but not on computer. Please please please review, I really NEED contstructive criticism. Just tell me what is good and what is not so good.**

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* * *

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What a shock it was for Sasuke to return home and find his fiancée lying on the floor of the training room and surrounded by dead plants. All the flowers had withered away, almost turned into dust though they still were in flowerpots but they looked like they'd vanish if they were touched.

"I did it", the woman groaned on the floor, "I completed the jutsu."

"What jutsu?" he asked and walked to one of the flowerpots. He examined the dead plant, it looked like it had been dead for years. It was brown and as he touched it, it really did turn into dust, vanished under the touch of his fingers.

"Do you want the short of the long version?" she asked grinning.

"Short please, I doubt that I'd understand any of your medic-language", he laughed, too and went to sit next to her on the floor.

"Well, I caused the cells to basically kill themselves, that's called an apoptosis, and then removed all the water from the dead cells. And, I used a lot chakra doing that. Too much. I need to work on the jutsu a little.", she said breathing heavily.

"Wow", he said quietly and she saw something new in his eyes. She wasn't sure what it was, it might've been pride or happiness.

'_Is he proud of me?'_, she thought almost in a shock.

"Ah, well, you can try it on your mission tomorrow", he said and too lay down on the floor. He took something out of his pocket and handed it over to her.

It was a photograph of a man. He looked timeless in a way, you couldn't tell his exact age but you could clearly see that he wasn't old or young. He had short brown and messy hair and blue eyes, which was a prominent combination. He was very handsome.

"That's your target. His name is Daito. Kill him and you'll get in", he said and turned his gaze from her to the ceiling.

She could tell whenever he was being his better self and when not. She hadn't seen the better side of him in days and she honestly had missed him. She was happy that he was back again. She had noticed that whenever he was being good, he never did anything radical. He'd follow his plans which he had made when he had been bad. She wondered if it was not to make the worse side of him angry. He got angry often, too often to be precise. And whenever he was being good, he didn't even try to have sex with her but every time he wasn't good, she really had to work to keep her clothes on. She found it tiring to always be resisting him and she knew she couldn't keep it up for long. She was ready to give up.

"And, I'll leave tomorrow?" she asked and got up from the floor. She put the picture of Daito in her pocket. The fact that she was free to leave and be alone for a couple of days made her feel happy. She needed time to be alone. And she was still thirsting for action, blood and a kill. She had come to terms with that, she was a ninja and she loved it.

"Yes."

"Alright then. I guess I'd better be going. I have a hairdresser in a few hours."

"What are you gonna do to your hair?"

"Cut it a little and dye it blue, maybe", she laughed and ran her fingers through her short hair.

"What?" he asked and too got up into a sitting position.

"Hahaha, I was just joking. I don't know, yet. I might color the tips of my hair or I don't know", she laughed.

"Well, blue wouldn't be that bad, I guess."

"Thanks. I'll see you later", she said. She got up and left the training room.

* * *

Ino looked around her. There was only a huge abandoned house in front of her. It was on the edge of the town and there weren't many houses nearby. Not occupied ones at least.

The house made her think of ghost stories, which made cold shivers run in her spine but not because of fear, because of excitement.

She went into the house. She came into a big foyer and she took her coat off and left it in a coat-rack and noticed Tenten's jacket next to hers. She had missed her friend for months now and she was glad that she'd seen her soon again.

She felt her friends' presences somewhere on the right side of the house. She walked across the foyer to the right. She opened the door and went into the next room but it was empty. It seemed to be a living room with candles all around. She walked to another door and as she went in, seven pairs of eyes focused on her.

"Hello guys!" she grinned, she loved the attention. The Konoha ninjas greeted her with 'his', 'hellos' and big smiles.

"Ino!" Kakashi said loudly. He was sitting at a table in the middle of the room. There were nine persons around the table and the room was also lit by candles.

"Kakashi-san what have you been up to? Is Sakura already here?" she asked and looked around the room. Sakura wasn't there and Ino hadn't expected her to be but she had hoped for it.

"No", he answered. His eyes had become sad the moment she had mentioned Sakura's name.

"Well, that's why I'm here for", she said and walked to the table. She sat down onto a chair next to Tenten. Quickly Ino smiled at her and squeezed her friend's hand, she did it as if to say that she was there and they could talk later and that she had missed her.

"Tsunade sent you?" Tenten asked.

"Well, not exactly. I made her let me come here. I would've come here anyways but she gave me the permission to leave Konoha, so I wouldn't become a missing nin'."

"So, where's my best friend? Have you already found her?" the blonde woman asked looking at Kakashi.

"She's part of Akatsuki now", Naruto said from a dark corner in the room. She hadn't seen him there. He looked so grown-up. He seemed to have lost his childish hyper energy and innocence. Worry was stained all over his face and it made him look years older. He looked like one of the most dangerous ninjas in the world, his eyes were piercing and his presence was different. He was one of the best ANBUs in Konoha, she knew that very well.

"Yeah, I know where **they** live", the Copy Ninja said.

"Ah, Sasuke. I don't know how much you guys know but he used Blood Wash on her", she said a bit angrily. She hated him so much with the whole of her heart.

The whole room fell silent. Ninjas always fell silent when they found someone had used a very forbidden and dangerous jutsu and especially when the victim was one of their friends.

"What do you remember?" Kakashi asked trying to change the subject.

"I remember what her mind was like for the last days… And I remember some of her worst memories", she said with a pain in her voice, "I remember Sasuke being there, too. But he wasn't really being himself, his presence was—"

"—changed", Naruto cut her off.

She looked at him and nodded, "yes, changed. And I fought him there but I lost…"

"I knew it, I knew it", the blue eyed man said.

"What?" she asked.

"Naruto, we all know you know more than you say. We need to know, too", Shikamaru joined in the conversation, "she's our friend, too and we will have the best chances in taking the Akatsuki down if we know everything there is to know. We too want her back even if our mission is not rescuing her."

"I… I'm not 100 percent sure but… I strongly believe that Sasuke is Orochimaru", he said quietly almost spitting the words, "I've talked about this with Sky lately and he agrees. It all makes sense."

Once again, the whole room was silent. Everyone was shocked but in a way, they all agreed more than less but they all agreed.

"But why would Orochimaru take Sakura?" Kakashi asked looking at Naruto. He was calm but furious.

"Because of Sasuke. He's still in there, too. Would our Sasuke go without a fight?"

* * *

Kakashi had told Ino that Sakura would have hairdresser later and Ino wanted to go and see her. She had a plan to see what the situation was. When they'd see their friend, they'd call her name as loudly as they could and see would there be a reaction. If there was one, the situation would be quite good and if not, they'd have a lot of work to do.

Later they'd follow her and try to become friends with the new Sakura, Chinatsu. They'd presence would awake memories in Chinatsu and if they were lucky, it might awake Sakura.

They were walking around the town near the hairdresser and waiting for their friend to show up.

_Meanwhile…_

The jade eyed woman walked into a bookstore. She needed to find information about split personalities. She had planned on reading about them and then help Sasuke in some way, in any way she could.

"Hello", the owner of the store said from a behind a bookshelf, "may I help you in any way?"

"Actually, yes. I need some books about dissociative identity disorder", she said smiling as the owner came closer to her.

"Ah, split personalities. Yes! We have some excellent books about that. Even old scrolls, if you're interested", he said, "please follow me."

He led her to a big bookshelf which was full of books about mental disorders. "And here are the books about DID, what kind of book are you looking for?"

"Just general information about it and maybe how treat the symptoms… What kind of scrolls do you have?" she asked and took a book from the shelf.

"Ah, yes. Well, here are at least four books having basic information about DID", he said and pointed out the books, "you can look them by yourself as I'll go and get some scrolls."

"Alright, thanks!" she said smiling widely. At last, she felt important; now she could help him. The fact that he'd lose his worse side made her smile. She couldn't wait 'til he'd vanish away.

It didn't take long for the owner to come back with five scrolls. She hurried in deciding what she would take because of she had a timetable and soon she would have to go and get to the hairdresser.

She had asked for a paper bag for her books and scroll so she could hide them longer from him. As she walked out of the store, she felt extremely happy. She felt as if her life was just starting and she loved adventures.

She could already see the hairdresser and she tried to decide what she wanted to be done to her hair.

"OH MY GOD SAKURA! FORE HEAD GIRL! COME HERE!" some woman yelled from the top of her lungs.

'_What? Who? Pig girl?' _ the jade eyed woman thought. She was confused by her own thoughts; she had no idea what her thoughts had been. But she was in a hurry and decided to worry about that later. So she shrugged and continued walking again. She hadn't even realised that she had stopped walking.

At the same time a bit further down the street Ino and Kakashi were looking at their friend going into the hairdresser.

"Did you see that?" Ino exclaimed.

"She stopped", he grinned.

"Yeah", she said happily, "but she didn't turn away."

"She could've just been distracted for the fact that someone was yelling very loudly", he said with a sad voice.

"True", she sighed.

"But she stopped", he smiled.

"That gives us hope. Now, let's go for a cup of coffee, we need to form another plan."

"Sure."

"Team Ino and Kakashi", she laughed.

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**A/N: Next update will be in like 3-4 weeks. ****Please please please review, I really NEED contstructive criticism. Just tell me what is good and what is not so good. And wish me luck on the matriculation exmaintions!! I love you guys!!**


	27. To Erase All The Memories

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters.**

**A/N: God, this chapter has taken so long to write. I actually hurried it a bit so I could post it today. So, I will check the grammar again tomorrow and maybe make some minor changes if I found this unreadable shit. :D but, anywho, enjoy!! AND REVIEW!!**

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"Wash me away  
Clean your body of me  
Erase all the memories  
They will only bring us pain  
And I've seen all I'll ever need" (Citizen Erased by Muse)

* * *

She looked straight into her prey's eyes; they glowed blue. He knew what was about to happen to him and he knew he had no chance of surviving.

One swift movement of her left hand and he landed on the floor, unconscious. She smiled to herself and kneeled next to him. She touched his warm cheek and smiled again. From all the ways to die, he'd experience the most glorious one. She gave him a small kiss to his lips. And slowly, she started doing her special jutsu.

His body turned into dust as she brought her hands over his body. When she was finished there was only a golden ring on the place where he lied seconds before. She took the ring and left the hotel room.

As she walked back into her room, she realized she craved more. She wanted to kill more; it made her feel complete. She needed to feel complete.

_Meanwhile_

Sasuke walked into a big dim room. There was a big table with 12 seats but only 10 of them were taken. He sat on the chair that had been assigned to him years ago.

"Daito's dead", Itachi started, "Sky confirmed it a few minutes ago."

"So, she's done her job. Are we now just supposed to take her into our clan?" Kia snarled. She was tapping the desk in front of her impatiently with her pen.

"Yes, that was the agreement. I've been training her and at the moment, she's even better than a few of the ninjas amongst us", Sasuke said and glanced at Kia. She dropped her pen to the floor. Immediately, all eyes in the room were on her.

"When she gets back, we'll perform the ritual", the older Uchiha said drawing the attention away from the red haired woman.

"She'll be back the day after tomorrow", Sasuke notified.

"On Wednesday at 9 pm, we'll perform the ceremony", Itachi said and Kia snorted quietly.

The older Uchiha brother got up from his seat and left the room. Others followed him except Sasuke and Kia stayed in their seats.

He was lost in his thoughts while she was lost in… him.

"Sasuke", she murmured, he barely heard her, "we need to talk."

"Hmm", he sighed. He didn't even bother to look up to her face.

"How long is this going to last? I mean… well, you know what I mean", she said.

"Huh?" he looked at her, clearly wondering what she was talking about.

"You and her", she said, "I mean… I don't like sharing", she said quietly and stared right into his eyes.

"Stop it, I'm marrying her. Our, me and hers, family will be complete when she gets pregnant. Kia, I… what do you want?" he asked, his voice was colder than usual.

"What? You're marrying her?!" she yelled and shot up from her chair.

"Just relax, you knew this was going to happen someday. You and me… we are not the type of couple to get married and start a family", he said and smiled faintly.

"Oh yeah, so, I'm only good for sex? Is that it?" she kept yelling.

"Yes", he said calmly, "but this marriage, it doesn't mean the end of us." He kept on smiling his characteristic evil smile.

"Ah, what do you expect me to say to that?" she asked and sat back on her seat, "I mean… I don't like this."

"I know, but this is just temporary", he said. Before she could answer, he had already left the room.

* * *

All eyes were on her as she walked into the room. There were 9 ninjas in the room and her. In a way, she felt scared. Some self preservation instincts told her to get away from there as quick as possible and as far away as possible. It was as if once, she had had a bad dream about the clan she was joining. But the dominant part of her, she was excited. She couldn't wait to join them, she couldn't wait to be a part of something so strong and powerful as… Akatsuki.

Sasuke had made her learn all of their names and elements and specialties. Itachi was standing in front of her with a metallic object in his hand. Everyone else was half circling her behind her. Kisami was on her left side at the end of the circle then there were Deichi, Sasuke, Kia, Zetsu, Sky, Kagami and Kigan.

Itachi nodded slightly to her and she turned around. The metallic object in Itachi's hand was red from the heat. He pressed the object to the back of her neck, marking her.

It hurt but she didn't make a sound. She looked at Zetsu who was staring at her. The pain ended soon and she turned around to look at Sasuke's brother.

"Sasuke has filled you in with everything? Your partner will be Zetsu, he'll tell you later about your first mission."

"Alright", she said and wondered when would be the next time she'd see all of the members together. Sasuke had told her that it was extremely rare to them all to be at the hideout at the same time.

The ninjas scattered around the room and she decided to follow Zetsu. He sat on a large couch, there were three sofas and she sat on the one in front of him. He grinned and she remembered something about Sasuke telling her about him having a split personality.

"I heard you made Daito vanish", he said grinning.

She never thought of Zetsu as that cheerful, not even his cheerful and carefree side.

She grinned back, "Yeeah, just wanted to test the limits of my abilities."

"Our mission is to spy some intruders in this town", he said and she could tell it was his black side talking, "so, no major ass kicking."

"Haha, alright", she laughed, "when will we start?"

"Tomorrow. I'll come by your house and we'll go."

"Alright."

She was ready. She was ready to be an active ninja again, she was ready to get to know some new people and most of all, she was ready to start living her life.

She felt like something new was really starting now. She couldn't remember her old life before her accident but she knew that tomorrow would change everything.

* * *

Ino was sitting at the kitchen table and reading some scrolls and making notes. She barely looked up whenever someone entered the room and she barely remembered to breathe. Only every time she started feeling weird and suffocating, she inhaled for a time or two.

Naturally, she didn't notice Kakashi walking into the room. And she wasn't paying any attention to any presences nearby. Even as she felt a hand on her shoulder, she was too concentrated on her reading to startle or to even scream. She only mumbled something indefinable and continued to read.

"I get the feeling you're near discovering something big", he said and she looked up to him. He was sitting on the chair at the other side of the table.

"Yes. I think I already discovered it BUT I need to check it again."

"How many times have you checked it?" he asked.

"Um… at least eight, I think. Not sure. Now shut up, I need to read", she said and waved her hand to him silently emphasizing that she needed him to be silent.

Kakashi started thinking his mission all over again. What he could do and what he shouldn't do. He had gone over some things with Ino that he shouldn't do no matter what, such as kidnap her, try to make her cheat on Sasuke with him, try to make her leave Sasuke for him, try to propose her. He wondered where Ino had gotten all of her ideas though kidnapping her sounded tempting to him.

He went over all the times he had seen her and had talked to her. He wondered if there was a clue, a hint of anything. He needed to feel able again. Able to save her like before, able to make her listen to her like he used to and able to make her knees give out like they used to, many, many times.

"Ino", he said and she tilted her head and looked at him with an annoyed expression, "is there any possibility that she still has feelings for me? That I could remind her of her life before… this?"

Ino sighed and lowered her gaze back to the scroll in front of her. She was silent for a minute or two. "Yes, but this is going to be so difficult. And before you burst out of the door… There's one problem. No, wait, two problems", she said and looked again at him.

He nodded.

"Sasuke and Orochimaru. I mean… To whom her loyalties belong to? When you use Blood Wash on someone, they're loyal to you 'til the very end. But if Sasuke and Orochimaru are both in Sasuke's body then… there's a chance that she's loyal to only of them. And that very fact makes the whole jutsu incomplete, breakable. Hell, if she's strong enough, which I doubt that not that strong, she could even break it by herself."

"And we need to figure out who she obeys. If it's Orochimaru—"

"—we need to take him down and try to undo the jutsu. But if it's Sasuke, he might help us. In a way. Not in a direct way of helping. I mean… I know Sasuke still cares for her, he sees her as a sister or something but Orochimaru. God knows what he thinks."

"It still seems kind of hopeless, the whole situation."

"Nope. It doesn't. The jutsu is incomplete. There can't be two masters. There's no way. So she is brainwashed to believe this and that and she has no memory BUT it's not a Blood Wash. And a brainwash can be undone."

"So—"

"—But! There still should be traces of Blood Wash so… it's not an ordinary brainwash either. It's… it's…" her sentence faded away as she kept on reading again.

He smirked to himself and decided to go and see if she was at the town. Maybe he could figure out where her loyalties lied.

* * *

A green eyed woman walked around in the house she lived in. She traced her fingers along all the surfaces her hand reached to, the windows, couch, tables, doors and walls. She tried to think what she should do. Should she talk to her fiancé and tell him she had some… intimacy problems and she was afraid of sex.

'_I could appeal to temporary insanity'_, she thought and laughed.

She wondered how he would take it, would he be mad like usually, would he force himself on her or would he take it like a normal husband-to-be would. She hoped it was the better side of him who would be in charge when he came back home.

All her thinking had lead her to the ultimate thought that she was afraid of him, well half of him. She couldn't say 'no' to him, she couldn't do anything without his permission.

'_What's the point? I'll say no and he'll…. he'll…. rape me. And I'll say 'yes' and I'll feel like raped. I'll run away and he'll find me. I can't run away from him. Maybe it's better to say 'yes'. That way, there would be no major fight, no major bruises and no major… nothing.'_

She looked around and noticed that she was sitting on the bed. She wondered if her body knew what her mind would decide before it had decided and act on its own. The thought made her grin.

She curled herself into a ball on the bed and closed her eyes. She was ready now, she would be ready when he would come home and she would fight back her weird thoughts and feelings. She knew she trusted him and she'd stay forever with him. And she knew she was tired of trying to fight with his worse side because she was tired of losing. '_So why fight anymore?'_

She didn't have the time to even fall asleep before he came home. When she heard the door and felt his presence downstairs, she sat up on the bed and waited.

"Hi", she said and tried to smile as he walked into the room.

"Hn", he mumbled. She tried to fight back the tears and tried to smile again.

Her desperate try of smiling had succeeded because he asked: "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing, nothing in particular", she said. And from those words it was as if someone had pressed the fast forward button on the remote control of her life. Before she could think 3 different sentences, he was already naked and so was she.

There were no kissing, no foreplay, no "touching" except when he needed to touch her, there was no warm feelings.

She tried to concentrate on breathing and lying still and counting the seconds. She tried to ignore the pain. He was rough. She could tell he was mad and he was taking it on her. She knew when it was all over, she'd be bleeding internally and externally. She knew she'd end up crying somewhere and she couldn't wait for that moment.

But it got worse, he seemed to get more turned on from his angriness and roughness and her blood. She couldn't keep up, breathe or think. She prayed for a death and lost her consciousness.

* * *

Kakashi had masked his presence and he had changed his appearances so it would be safe for him to walk around the town. And he had done that for hours. She was at her pretend home. He had walked past the house for a few times. He wondered if everything was okay because her presence had gotten weaker every time he had passed the house.

He knew he couldn't enter the house and he knew he couldn't go back to their base before he had seen her again or felt her presence so strong that he felt safe to go. He just walked around the town concentrating on her presence. There had been a moment when it had almost completely faded away but then it had grown stronger and then weaker again.

He sighed and walked to the nearest bar. He sat at the counter and ordered a vodka martini. He sighed and drank some of it.

He never was a "believer" but he silently prayed to someone, anyone, to send her to him. He needed just to see her, he wanted to see her and above all, he was desperate to see her.

He knew he was acting stupid, more stupid than ever in his life. He turned around on his chair to see if someone was coming in but nobody came. She didn't come.

He drank the rest of his drink and felt something, he felt her presence. She was near. He ordered a new drink and she was at the door. When the bartender placed the drink in front of him on the counter, she was already sitting next to him.

He carefully looked at her; her eyes were red, her hair was messy and there was nothing in her eyes. She ordered some absinth. She drank it and ordered another one.

He turned his head and gazed at his new vodka martini. '_What the hell?'_

"Miss, miss, you should take it slower", the bartender said to her.

"No", she said angrily and drank her third shot of absinth. As she was given the fourth one, Kakashi put his hand on hers preventing her from drinking the shot of poison.

"Take your hands off of me", she said in a low voice. She stared at him.

He didn't know what he should do next, there wasn't much he could do. "Miss, you **will** kill yourself with that. And nobody's life is that bad that you should kill yourself", he heard himself saying.

She still stared at him but with less angry fire. Before she could answer or he could say anything, she had burst into tears, silent ones though.

"I'm not killing myself", she cried, "I'm trying to forget."

* * *

**A/N: Well, at least, take a few seconds and tell me did you like this. I'd be grateful forever and ever and ever and all of the upcoming everness. -danax**


	28. Dancing for Their Lives

**A/N: Don't you just love me? (for updating so soon?) Anywho, please R&R!**

**Important notice:  
**

**I've divided this chapter into two pieces. And I'm not good at writing fighting scenes (totally working on that), so I'll be consentrating more on the emotions during the fights. But it's not gonna be only emotions/feelings "gosh, i'm so hurt, he punched me" -crap. I'll still do my best at describing the fights. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters.**

**

* * *

**

Hurt and anger. Two feelings intertwined so forcefully, the only thing she felt was pain. It was early morning and she had been sitting on the floor of the bathroom. She had made herself sober up with a simple jutsu but after that, all she had done was sit grief and cry soundlessly; grieving for the fact that she was so unable to do anything, to resist the bad-Sasuke and to make her life better. She couldn't bare the fact that she was so… unable. She felt as if she was a young child again though… she didn't remember her childhood.

She looked at her fingers, the nails were chewed and the tips of her fingers were bleeding. It felt comforting in a way to see that she could still bleed. The ability to bleed meant her that she was still alive.

She wished she could remember more than she did. She felt as if blood had been something that she had found comfort in before. The only memories she had from the past, before the accident, were jus vague voices, emotions and scents.

She turned her gaze to the small bathroom window which led the rays of sun in. There was a small light blue curtain in front of the window so the light in the room was light bluish. She liked that shade of blue; it was comforting and made her sleepy.

Her thoughts drifted into her visit at the bar. She had drunken three shots of absinthe and a stranger sitting next to her had prevented her from drinking the fourth one. She was glad he had been there, she might've not been able to take the toxic out of her body in her state of drunkenness.

She had cried and he had been there. Later on when her tries had started drying up, she realized how stupid she had been and she had left the bar as quickly as possible. And, when she had reached home, she had gone straight to the bathroom she was still in.

She felt Zetsu's presence somewhere near. She healed her fingers, washed her face and left the room.

* * *

For the first time in several weeks, Naruto felt happy in a way. He had received some news and he wasn't sure if they were good ones or bad ones. Depending on the outcome, they could be either and also, depending on the outcome, they'd be both.

He had summoned everyone to the dining room. Ino and Genma were the first ones to enter the room and he didn't have to wait for long for everyone else to enter the room, too.

"Last night Shino and Tenten successfully eliminated the few allies that Akatsuki has. And now is the time that we need to strike", the blonde ninja said in a serious tone. Everyone else fell into a deep silence.

This was it, they'd either live or die. For some of the ninjas, these moments would be one of their last ones.

Neji was the first to speak, "how long exactly? I mean… It won't be long that Akatsuki will separate or even attack us. Our only advantage is surprise and we cannot lose that."

"2 hours", the blue eyed leader said quietly but loudly enough so everyone heard him, "I know what you're thinking, I'm thinking the same thoughts, we all are. But, now, you need to eat rest, make strategies and talk to your friends."

There was a long silence. Most of them were thinking how they'd spend the last hours before the final attack and rest of them were thinking how to survive or help others survive.

"What's the plan?" Kurenai asked finally breaking the screaming silence.

"Neji and Kiba will join a team to take Kagami and Kikan down. Kagami and Kikan, they both are specialized in taijutsu so, after careful planning with Shikamaru, we've come to the conclusion that Neji and Kiba are the best choices against Kagami and Kikan", Naruto explained.

"Alright", Kiba said and Neji nodded.

"Sky and Kia are partners and Sky will take on Kia. Her specialty is genjutsu and some earth based jutsus. Sky on the other hand is excellent at ninjutsu. Itachi and Kisame, they are hard ones. That is why Shikamaru, Genma and Shizune will be dealing that battle. Genma will be a fighter, Shizune will assist in fights but mostly, you'll do the healing. And, Shikamaru, you'll fight and strategize."

They only nodded as a reply. Shikamaru was already planning, Genma was chewing his senbon needle and Shizune was… muttering and doing hand signs as if to remember something.

"Deichi and Sasuke. Tenten and Kurenai, you'll take on Deichi and I'll deal with Sasuke."

Naruto took a moment to let the information "sink in" to the ninjas. "I know where every member of Akatsuki will be today so all you need to do is get there and surprise attack. After your fight, you'll help others."

"And…?" Kakashi asked quietly.

"Yes… Zetsu and Sakura are partners. They're coming here soon. You two will make sure that Zetsu will be eliminated and Sakura… brought back."

* * *

_Sometimes fighting is dancing, some live from it, get their will of life from it but usually, fighting is only gaining or losing time, seconds, years, minutes or days. But right now, fighting or battling was everything and nothing at the same time. It was the only way to live or die, it was gaining or losing freedom but most of all, all the fighters were only losing seconds._

Kakashi was in the middle of the foyer. He hadn't hid his presence, he wanted to be found. He needed to be found. He felt Ino's presence in the room next to the one he was in, she was coming closer.

The room was huge, open and it the ceilings were very high. There were hardly any furniture, only a love seat, a lamp and a small table in the north-west corner of the room. The chandelier was still hanging from the ceiling.

Sky had told them that Zetsu was mostly a spy, not a fighter, so taking him down should be somewhat easy. If you can say that taking down a member of Akatsuki was easy. But when it came to Sakura, he had no idea, he knew she had grown a lot tougher in the past years and that Orochimaru-Sasuke had been training her, but he wasn't sure what she was capable of.

Ino entered the foyer. They had agreed that her fight would happen there. They knew that Zetsu and Sakura were there only to spy on them there but as soon as they'd step into the foyer, the dancing would begin.

Now, how did they know that the Akatsukis would go to the foyer? Easy, every door led to the foyer and they would go through the whole house. Zetsu would merge with the walls or the floor of the room and travel across the foyer without being noticed. Ino was leaning to the wall and reading a book, her she had concentrated some chakra to her feet and to her back. She was searching for any new energies or chakras from the floor and the wall. The moment she'd fell Zetsu, she'd follow the trail of energy to him and Kakashi would go and find Sakura.

The seconds they waited felt like years. It was as if decades had passed when they had only inhaled and exhaled.

Ino made the faintest sound, like she was about to cough but decided not to cough. Kakashi looked at her and nodded and he walked to upstairs.

"See ya later", the Copy Ninja said. He knew Zetsu was able to hear them and everything needed to seem normal.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever", she laughed a little.

He found her. He moved his forehead plate, letting his left eye see. She stared right into his eyes and attacked. She lunged at him with a kunai in her hand. He moved to his left making her miss him.

For a split of a second her back was turned to him; with his left hand he took a kunai from his pocket and put the blade to her throat while his right hand was squeezing her hands together.

"Feel like surrendering?" he laughed to her ear.

"No!" she screamed. She kicked his right knee and got free from his hold. She tried to hit him with her left elbow but he had already moved away from her attack.

She realized his left eye was detecting all her moves before she had even finished them, she needed to make him blind to gain the advantage. As she was throwing punches and avoiding his attacks, she gathered some chakra to her right index- and middle finger. The chakra would paralyze his sense of sight and then she'd have the advantage.

With one swift movement, her right hand was on the left side of his head but his hand was blocking her jutsu. For a moment, she was shocked but regained herself quickly. She twisted her hand around his and forcefully, bent down throwing him on the floor. Then everything went black.

"Sakura", he said from somewhere behind her, "you need to listen to what I have to say."

She turned around to where she had heard his voice, "It's Chinatsu. And I don't communicate with enemies."

She tried to listen very hard, she tried to sense his presence but there was nothing except just a feeling, a feeling telling her that he was still in the room, watching her.

"Sakura, this is not real", he sighed from her left. She tried landing a round-house kick there but she missed. She knew she couldn't fight if she couldn't sense him and that he would immediately see when she started curing her eyes.

The best offence and defense would be acting as if she wanted to listen. When he was too distracted in his stories and lies, she'd cure her eyes and attack. It'd be all over then.

She stopped trying to track him and said: "I guess you won't let me leave if I don't listen."

He was the perfect stranger she had met before, she wanted to listen to him but she was scared to. _'He's the enemy. He's trying to trick me',_ she thought, _'but he won't let me go if I won't listen. I'm _trapped. She was desperately trying to justify what she was about to.

"Sasuke isn't who he says he is", he said simply, "and… Haha, this will sound a bit of corny but it's not safe for you to return there."

But she already knew all of this. Anyone who'd known the man she lived with would've known this. He was trying to trick her and having the chance, he'd kill her in a blink of an eye. Quickly, she started gathering chakra all around her head, healing the nervous system that connected her eyes and brain. She needed to see in order to live another day.

But he was so fast, before she had her eyesight back to normal, he had her already on a death grip. His hand was on her throat and his other hand was holding her hands.

"You won't win me. I taught you Sakura", he sighed.

She made no sound or effort to escape from his grasp. The smallest voice in the back of her mind told her that he wouldn't kill her but she doubted it. She only stared at him, her eyes felt icy. In a way, she felt hatred towards the ninja in front of her.

With a swift movement, his finger hit a spot on her neck and her world turned black.

* * *

Sasuke's presence was easy to trail upon. Naruto had known him long enough to automatically detect it. And, mixed with Orochimaru's presence, it was striking to him. He, Tenten and Kurenai had followed their old friend from his house to a big manor that was said to be owned by a wealthy old man. The man had made millions by selling forbidden jutsus to anyone rich enough to buy them.

Staring at the house from the shadows, they all were having confused emotions. Hoping for the best and fearing for the worst.

"Let's go", Naruto said almost silently but the women had no trouble hearing him.

Everything seemed to go pretty smoothly; Sasuke and Deichi were inside the house and alone as supposed and they had not detected the Konoha ninjas coming in.

Naruto knew he wouldn't have to hold back when fighting against his old friend, he'd unleash the Kyuubi's power and rely on his strength and rage. He wanted Sasuke dead but he also knew that the objective was to tear the two consciousnesses apart. If Sasuke survived and stayed in his own body, he'd live and if Orochimaru was the one to survive, Naruto would kill him.

They had entered through a window in the uppermost floors. They crept inside the house getting closer and closer to their targets.

As they got close enough, Kurenai used a genjutsu. In the room where Sasuke and Deichi were, the branches of the trees outside broke the windows and started filling the room, reaching towards the enemy ninjas.

They got a few seconds head start in attacking on account of the surprise of Kurenai's genjutsu. Even though Sasuke or Deichi didn't fell for it, the ninjas of Konoha won a second or two.

* * *

**A/N: Please review! Constructive criticism is very welcome. :D**

**-danax  
**


	29. Belly Up

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters.**

**A/N: Yay! I finished this! It was supposed to have 3 big fighting scenes but it only has 2 with Chinese Water Torture. And this chapter is dedicated to _Natsu no Tsuki. _She inspired me and read my whole story from one sitting. :D I'm very grateful, thank you and this is for you!**

**I had a lot of music that inspired me to write this chapter and I decided to name the chapter after one of the inspiring songs: Belly Up by Maria Mena**

_Belly Up:_

_Our old world is hard to find_

_I doubt it was ever mine_

_To keep_

_Were you always this unkind?_

* * *

Everything had quieted down. There were no more fights, only wounds and tears, desperate pleads to a higher power to change the last 24 hours but no one was fighting for their lives anymore.

Kakashi inhaled deeply as he looked into the jade green eyes in front of him. Her eyes were flaming from anger, her attitude was filled with anger but her posture and aura were in a contradiction with her attitude, her posture told that she trusted them and her aura wasn't filled with anger, more like relief. He knew there was a part in her that trusted him and Ino, a part that needed them to take her away from the town to back home.

She was tied to a chair with chakra string. He was watching her all the time, there was nothing she could to. Ino was behind her working on her mind, trying to unlock some memories but Sakura was refusing and shielding her mind every time the blonde woman tried something new.

"Memories", Ino said looking at Kakashi, "if we can unlock them, the most important ones at least, then we might be able to undo the blood wash."

"Sure, you do the work while I read", he smirked and took an orange book from his chest pocket. He noticed how confused Sakura became.

She was looking at him with wondering eyes. She didn't understand why he decided to start reading smut in the middle of the day when they had a situation going on. She thought they had a situation, she thought this was serious and his reading made her annoyed. She felt like she didn't mean anything to him, as if reading was more important than… than… than what?

He flipped a page and chuckled. She became angrier.

"Why do you always must read that… that… that garbage?!" she screamed her lungs out.

He swift his gaze at her and lift an eye brow, "Seen me read before? Or what do you exactly mean by always?"

She was confused. Had she seen him read before? Why did it even annoy her in the first place, she didn't care for him; he was the enemy for god's sake. And again, she decided to say nothing. And he kept on reading.

"Sakura, do you remember—" Ino started but the jade eyed woman cut her off: "—no, I don't."

The blonde woman said: "Do you remember when we were at the ninja academy. It was our first week. I was wearing a pink dress and you had the exact same dress but it was yellow. And you were so angry because I looked prettier in it and because you hated the yellow one?"

'_**Hated mine, too!**__ Oh fuck, now I'm harassed by enemy ninjas AND myself? For the love of god, please stop',_ she thought to herself.

"And all the boys wanted to sit next to me during the lunch hour, not next to you." the woman continued.

"Yeah right", Sakura accidentally said her thoughts aloud, "you looked like a pig when you wear pink."

"And your forehead is huge. Humongous actually."

* * *

Naruto was sitting on the floor and breathing heavily. The last fight of his life had been the hardest one. His mind was blank from exhaustion. He looked at his old friend lying unmoving on the floor.

_FLASHBACK_

_Naruto moved a bit left just in time to avoid a punch aimed to head. Quickly, he bent down, shifted while taking a step backwards and landed a hit on Sasuke's head. The raven haired man recovered quickly and roundhouse kicked his old friend sending him flying 4 meters away. _

_The blond man couldn't do anything except lie on the floor for some seconds. His "inner demon" was healing him, feeding his animalistic energy and rage to him. But the time he recovered his senses, Sasuke was already holding a kunai a few millimeters away from his eyeball. _

"_Naruto, what did you think, trying to challenge me? That you'd win?" the man laughed._

_Kyuubi never responded well to threats neither did Naruto himself. He couldn't hold him back anymore, he let the rage and energy flow free in the room and in him. The impact caused by the release of pure energy was big enough to throw Sasuke meters away from the blond haired man. _

_Naruto got up from the floor, feeling Kyuubi in every cell of his body and in every thought. He darted towards Sasuke and tried to side kick him but he dodged it just in time. Naruto darted in fast and landed a punch on his die and ducked back out of his reach. _

_THE END OF THE FLASHBACK_

Naruto concentrated on the other presences in the house. Entering the house, there had been five including themselves but now, there was only two strong ones and two weak ones. He knew that Sasuke's presence was one of the weak ones and he felt Kurenai somewhere in the house. He prayed that the presence that had vanished was Deichi's.

When they had entered the house, he had found Sasuke quickly and Kurenai and Tenten had been in the room next him fighting, too. Now, the presences were further away. _'Upstairs'_, he thought and looked at the onyx eyed man on the floor. He couldn't leave him in case he'd wake up. It was a risk he wasn't willing to take. He would have to take his old friend with him or kill him.

He brought his kunai to Sasuke's throat. He held it there for some time as his thoughts were running wild. Killing him wouldn't be self defense, it'd be simply killing in its purest form. If he was right and Orochimaru was in Sasuke's mind, he'd kill the chance of getting his friend back.

Slowly, he put the kunai back to his pocket and he lifted the man up from the floor. He'd help his comrades now. Ino would help her deal Sasuke and Orochimaru.

* * *

"We have to start ripping some old wounds open", Ino said quietly to Kakashi. They had made progress but not enough. Sakura had responded to the memories her old friends had been feeding to her but only on an emotional level. She did not remember the events but she had started remembering the emotions she had gone through back then.

But still, she didn't trust her old friends and she didn't remember their names.

Ino walked to Sakura and leaned on her thighs and looked into her eyes, "Sakura, I need you to listen to me. Do you remember when your parents were killed? Do you remember the time?"

"No."

"It was a month or two after Sasuke had returned our village. He was harassing you and..." Ino fell silent she wasn't sure how to tell everything to a girl who had lost her memories.

"And what?"

"And then came the day when you found your parents killed. Their organs had taken out of their bodies and scattered all over your house."

"No!"

"You couldn't be at your house for weeks. So you stayed with me. You slept in my bed and we took shifts who made breakfast and who made the dinner. I held your hand when you couldn't breathe from crying at nights. Please, I'm begging you to remember", Ino cried.

Sakura was crying, too.

"And then later Sasuke's attitude got worse", the blonde woman said and kept a small pause to gather herself, "and he raped you."

The shock was all over the jade green eyed woman's face. She couldn't breathe or think.

Ino walked to Kakashi and said quietly, "we need to stop for a moment, we don't want her to faint or have a seizure. But… it's working. She's subconsciously remembering."

The man nodded in response and said, "Naruto's back…"

"I should go and see him. You stay here. When she gets over the shock, you can start telling more personal stuff."

* * *

Genma, Shikamaru and Shizune had been fighting against Itachi for ages now. Shizune had beaten Kisame some time ago and now she was assisting her comrades.

They were attacking the older Uchiha from west, east and south. Shikamaru was attacking from the south. Genma was attacking him from the west and Shizune from the east. None of them could look at his face because the second they did, they'd be under a heavy genjutsu. They had to predict his attacks based on the movements of his legs and hands.

Their plan was to wear him down and when he was weak or tired enough, they'd all use their strongest attack at the same time.

Itachi was straightforward attacking Genma but defending himself from Shikamaru's and Shizune's attacks. With his mangekyo sharingan, he didn't even break a sweat. Shikamaru and Genma started attacking harder, using more power and agility on the punches and kicks. And, the older Uchiha had to concentrate more on the men's attacks leaving small openings on Shizune's side.

As she was attacking his side, slowly, she started gathering some chakra to the tips of her fingers. She would paralyze his heart the second she got the chance to. But suddenly the Uchiha started concentrating on attacking the Konoha medic ninja as if he knew what was going on. He lunged toward her and in mid air, he roundhouse kicked her sending her against the eastern wall of the room.

Genma cursed in his mind when he realized she was unconscious or worse; paralyzed. How much would he lose for this mission? In his frustration, he made a mistake; before attacking him with a complicated kick series, he looked at his enemy's eyes.

His world changed color. It was all dark, he could barely see. He was chained to a chair and he was all out of strength and chakra. He heard water dripping somewhere but then he realized there was a bucket of some sort filled with water above his head. His head was forced to lean backwards so that every drop would drop on the middle of his forehead. The water was freezing and he could see every drop while they fell. And, he didn't know when the next drop would fall, which was driving him insane. Every time a drop fell on his forehead, it hurt more than anything before.

He realized that he was inside of Itachi's genjutsu but he knew his body didn't know that. Would he be able to keep his sanity through this water torture? A new drop fell on his forehead the pain was more than it was some seconds before.

He started counting seconds till the next drop of water touched his forehead, it was 34 seconds. The pain was about the same as having your arm cut with a chainsaw. He kept on counting seconds. When he reached 29, a new drop hit his forehead. It felt as if head had exploded and yet somehow he had survived. The pain was radiating from the forehead through his body to every cell.

He prayed for an escape from the nightmare and he swore if someone saved him during the next 40 seconds, he'd never look at any woman apart from Haruka. He'd never think dirty thoughts of any women except her.

"Please", he groaned to himself and a new drop hit his head, which made him yell from the pain.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He didn't want to see anymore. But the new drop never hit him again, the atmosphere in the room had changed and he could see some light through his eyelids. Slowly, he opened his eyes to see Kiba hovering above him.

"You okay?" the younger man asked he was clearly worried.

"Ugh", was all he could reply at the moment. He looked straight up and he could picture a new drop falling toward him. But it never hit his forehead. "I will be… later."

With Kiba's help, he got up from the floor. He leaned on his fellow ninja heavily and they walked slowly to Shikamaru, Shizune and Neji.

"How did it go?" Genma asked.

Neji turned to look at him and smirked a little, "we did our job well. Kagami and Kikan are history. And Shizune's going to be alright. But, Itachi got away when we got here."

"Yeah, and we should get going", Shikamaru said and picked the unconscious Shizune from the floor.

* * *

Ino wondered how one of the most simple mind jutsus could be so terrifying. Sasuke was in front of her unconscious and all she had to do is remove Orochimaru from his mind. She wouldn't have to enter his mind, she wouldn't have to meet the man and it would only take about half a minute. So why was she so scared?

First they had to confirm that he really did have two personalities and it had been easy. He had woken up from his unconscious state and pretty much told it. Well, he hadn't said: "Hi, my name's Orochimaru and Sasuke is somewhere in the dark corners of my mind." But it had been easy to read between the lines. And, Naruto had full permission to kill Sasuke and the jutsu would kill him if the Uchiha ninja was the only person in his head.

"Naruto… I", she started but didn't know how to continue, "take my hand?"

He nodded and took her hand and squeezed it, "Take all the time you need."

She turned to look at him, "Naruto, this can't be this easy. I mean, the jutsu is one of the easiest in the world and getting rid of someone so powerful and evil can't be that easy."

The blond man sighed and looked at his friend, "Ino, the only power he has right now is in your head. If you keep on thinking like that, you'll fuck up the jutsu and then, he'll have more power. But he's only a shadow anymore. Are you afraid of shadows?"

"No, I'm not. You're so right", she said smiling and let go of his hand.

She started doing the hand signs, monkey, bird, monkey, ram, ox, snake, dragon, monkey, monkey, ram…

She could feel her hands gathering chakra and power more and more, when she had finished the hand signs, she brought her hands to Sasuke's forehead and a flashing light penetrated his head.

For a few seconds the whole room was drowning in bright light. Then, the light vanished as quickly as it had engulfed the room.

Ino swallowed hard and looked at her friend standing next to her. He grinned his usual smile and walked to his old friend. He pressed his fingers to his neck to see if he was still alive, and he found a steady heartbeat.

"He's alive. Now is Orochimaru gone for sure? Are there any chances that the jutsu can fail sometimes?" he asked.

"No, he's gone", the blonde woman smiled, "and now, I need to go see Sakura. Now we can break her jutsu."

* * *

Kakashi was being as close to her as he could, trying to make her remember. "Sakura, remember the time you ran to my house, refused to tell me what was going on. You wouldn't sleep anywhere except next to me? You begged me so hard not to leave you in the room alone. God, you were so scared."

"No, please stop it", she cried.

"And I never left you. I stayed. We slept in the same bed holding hands through the night. And you were so embarrassed in the morning. Made me promise I'd never tell anyone. And you never told me what had been wrong in the first place."

"No!"

"And some weeks later, our first kiss. You were so confused and sad back then. And—"

"—Kakashi stop!" she screamed. He lifted his eyebrow and looked at her. Did he really hear what she had said? Or was it just his hopeful mind playing tricks on him?

Ino entered the room. "Oh wow, Kakashi, wow, what did you do? She remembers your name!" she squealed and walked closer. Sakura was crying and avoiding their gazes.

"Kakashi. We took care of the **thing** causing a small commotion so we can break the jutsu now", the blonde woman talked cryptically and he nodded.

She sighed knowing that she would have to redo the jutsu she had tried a month or two ago, the jutsu which had made her fall into coma. She took a deep breath and started doing the hand signs again. But now, there would be no Sasuke or Orochimaru to fight against. It'd be as easy as getting a free drink at a club from a hot guy. She smiled to herself before she dived into her friend's mind.

* * *

Naruto looked around and saw his friends. They were all silent and staring at the candles which were light on the dining table. Two of their comrades hadn't survived and they were honoring their memories.

Tenten hadn't survived one of Deichi's forbidden jutsus and Sky had used a suicide jutsu to complete his mission. Kurenai had carried Tenten's body back to their base but there had been nothing Shizune could've done to save her.

The blonde ninja looked at Neji who was silently crying. He knew how the Hyuga felt; he had once lost his teammate and best friend also. But the only difference was that Tenten wasn't coming whereas Sasuke might. The Uchiha ninja had been unconscious the whole time after they removed his side personality, Shizune had said that the only thing they could do for him was to bring him back to Konoha and see what Tsunade could do.

He shifted his gaze back to one of the candles, one of which flame was fighting its way to keep on burning. Somehow it reminded him of Sakura. She had gone through a rough patch and supposedly it was now all over. But after being brought back and given back all of her memories, she hadn't said a word. Her ties had been cut and still she had refused to get up from the chair.

He looked at Ino who was also crying for losing one of her best friends. "They wouldn't want us to mourn for them any longer, I think", Naruto said breaking the silence, "we've completed the mission. There's no Akatsuki anymore."

"Yeah", Genma sighed, "but there is wine." His comment stirred the ninjas around the table, they started talking and getting wine glasses. They started feeling normal again like they had never been on a mission this difficult.

Naruto decided to go and check upon Kakashi and Sakura. The Copy Ninja hadn't left her side at all. And, he wanted to see his best friend because he had missed her during the long mission. And, he had missed the girl who hadn't been under a heavy mental jutsu. He walked to the library where she had been the whole day.

"Hey", he said smiling, "how's it going?"

"The same. Sakura needs rest, maybe I should take her to one of the bedrooms."

"Yeah", he agreed and looked at her, "Sakura, it's over, this mission is complete. Tomorrow, we'll go back home."

'_Home'_, she thought with tears in her eyes. She missed her pillow, she missed the safeness of the town and she even missed the mean lady in Ino's apartment house. She only nodded she couldn't say anything.

"I'll take you to your bed and then you can sleep. You need to rest", the older man said and she nodded again. He lifted her from the chair and walked her upstairs where the bedrooms were. He took her to a room which was next to his and Ino's. If she needed anything, he'd be near.

As he placed her on the bed, she took his hand and held it making it for him to impossible to leave. "Sakura, I—" he started but she pulled his hand. "You want me to stay?" he asked.

"Yeah", she said quietly.

"I'll just go sleep on the other bed", he said and she pulled his hand again.

"No, here", she said with tears in her eyes and she made room for him on the bed. It was a single bed so there wasn't a lot of space but she needed to feel him because he was the only thing that felt safe anymore.

He got on the bed and held her close.

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**A/N: This is not the ending of this story. I'll post a new chapter after updating my two other stories. :D anywho, PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGH OF THE CHAPTER. Thank youuu.**

**-danax  
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	30. Jump and Fall

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or its characters. **

**Hey! A new chapter! It took me to write this so much longer than I expected to but that was because I wrote three different versions. This is the third one, the latest one and the best one. :D And I know there's not much of KakaSaku fluff here but there'll be lots of in the next two chapters.  
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**_And!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS AND THIS STORY WILL BE FINISHED. ANY WISHES OR IDEAS, PLEASE TELL ME NOW._**

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"Get it out of your system", Tsunade had said. At that time Sakura hadn't understood what her old teacher had tried to tell her. Kakashi, Ino and Naruto all had said the same thing many times.

She punched the log in front of her so hard it hurt. _'This is for my fucked up life'_, she thought. She punched it again and part of her enjoyed the pain in her knuckles. _'This is for not understanding. ANYTHING!'_ she yelled in her head. She kicked the log and did a series of different punches. _'This is for everything'_, she thought and a wave of emotions washed her. She had tried so hard to keep them at bay, hidden and pretend they did not exist. But they did and she cried. Her legs gave out and she was on the green grass.

She hated herself, she wished she was stronger and not crying. She wished she was able to pick an emotion and stay in it. She gripped the grass under her fingers and pulled it. She threw the fistful of grass in front of her. Drying her tears on the skin of her right arm, she decided she'd try harder. She got up from the ground and took a few deep breaths. _'Everything's gonna be alright'_, she thought but wasn't sure if she believed her own words.

She sensed Naruto somewhere near, he was always somewhere near. She didn't understand why she couldn't be left alone. She was fine. She wouldn't run away or kill herself. She wasn't suicidal, not anymore. But at the same time, she was happy for the fact that there was someone near.

After being brought back to Konoha, they did some tests on her and her condition was good. Tsunade had made her to stay in the hospital for one night. She had therapy once a day for the first week and then every other day for one week. It had been a week and a half.

She spun herself around and looked at Naruto who was sitting under a tree. His eyes were closed, his arms crossed on his chest and he seemed to be asleep. She walked to him and bumped his leg with hers a little. He opened his eyes and she smiled. "Let's go get something to eat?"

He jumped happily up from the ground. "I'm starving! Ichiraku's?"

"Sure, sounds good", she said smiling. They started walking to the town both of them falling into their thoughts. She was trying to figure out how to break the ice with Kakashi. For the past weeks, they hadn't talked much. He was distant somehow and she didn't know how to pull him back. Though every night he had left his window open and she had gone to his room through it and slept beside him but when the morning light had woken her, he was always gone. She didn't understand what was going through his mind. He seemed to be impossible to read.

"How are you? Really?" the blond ninja beside her asked as they crossed the street and entered the busier part of the village. She wished people would stop asking that question. She was okay, fine, whatever.

She looked at the pavement under her legs and wondered if that was the last time he'd ask that question from her. It was noon and there streets weren't as crowded as later during the day. The sky was cloudless and the sun added a tint of light yellow on the ground and pavement. She knew the streets by heart but she wasn't sure if she was the same girl who had once walked the streets as before. She didn't feel the same way at least. She wondered if feelings defined a person.

"I don't know. I mean…" she started but wondered what could she say without making him worry. "I'm just a bit lost. But I'll be okay."

She could feel his concerned gaze on her but dared not to look at him. Maybe he'd see something on her face that might give something away. "I'm okay", she said again and quickly glanced at him smiling. He threw his arm around her.

"Going to do missions again anytime soon?" he asked cheerfully and she was glad that the sad atmosphere had faded away.

"Yeah, the minute Tsunade allows it", she scoffed.

He seemed to think for a second and then his mouth widened to a wide grin, "We could get Ino to do some mind jutsu on the granny to make her agree on everything I say and then you'd be allowed to go on missions again!"

For the first time in weeks she laughed hard. Felt like the old times.

* * *

With shaking hands she opened the door in front of her and stepped into a house. She had decided. She looked around but didn't see anyone, only the furniture of a hallway and glimpse of an empty living room. She'd confront him. She kicked off her shoes and slowly walked to Kakashi's bedroom. She felt him there.

The door to the bedroom was closed and she knocked it lightly. Part of her hoped he wouldn't hear that, but of course he did.

"Since when have you started to knock?" she heard him asking. She opened the door and he looked sternly at her. His eyes pierced her and she knew he knew what was wrong, what she was supposed to get out of her system. She also knew he wouldn't just tell her. Another lesson.

"I don't know. Identity issues", she laughed a little. He had been lying on his bed but had sat up when she had entered the room. She saw an orange book beside him and fought the urge to laugh out. This wasn't the time. She sat next to him on the bed and swayed her legs a little.

"Who am I?" she asked suddenly before he had the time to ask how she was. He sighed heavily and turned to look at her. His eyes seemed sad. She wondered why. She wished she could take the sadness and turn it to something else, something positive.

"You are who you are", he said.

"And, I really am fine. Just dealing something", she said. She thought it was better to answer to the question beforehand so hearing it being asked wouldn't annoy her.

"I know", he said and nodded. He was the first one to say that. But if he knew she was okay, why was he avoiding her?

"And, I'm strong. I don't need a baby sitter all the time around me. I'm not just a weak small girl anymore."

"I know", he said again. Something about the fact that he was agreeing to everything she said scared her. She just wanted to be… with him. Jump and fall.

"Kakashi", she said in a low tone and blinked tears from her eyes, "you're always there. You never give up on me. You saved me. And… As much as I'm afraid to say this, I'm going to do it. I love you. And I need to be with you. You can't just shut me out like you have for the past weeks." She thought about what she had said and realized she sounded corny and wished she had read less romance novels. Her fingers played nervously with the white bedspread on the bed. It was a perfect distraction, she could pretend there was something interesting in the cloth under her fingers.

His eyes looked sadder than a few seconds before. "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked simply.

"God, yes. Been sure since… since. I don't know when... No, I do know. Kakashi, what's the difference between dream and reality?" she asked. Something had slipped into her mind about their old conversations. He looked puzzled for a second. There was a small butterfly on her right index finger. "You told me this Genjutsu isn't that simple. Everyone who sees my index finger falls for it including myself. And I have to know it's not real."

"Yes", he agreed.

"I fell for it. I ended up thinking I'm weak when I wasn't that weak. The fact that I fell for it made it partly real", she explained her thoughts aloud. She made the Genjutsu vanish and looked at him. "You knew it wasn't me. You knew I wasn't what I seemed to be."

"Partly, yes. I knew there was something wrong. Hell, everyone knew that. Just wanted to show you… you can overcome almost anything."

"And you see now there's no illusion of anything. It's me."

"Yes."

"Is this what you want?" she asked.

"Yes."

* * *

Trying to gain everything he ever wanted, he had lost almost everything that had meant something to him. He was haunted by the memories of the past years, how he hadn't had a choice in anything. He had just watched as his body moved almost by itself. There were some gaps where he had no memories at all, he had tried to sleep but ended up almost losing himself into someone else.

He felt Naruto coming closer to his apartment and soon he was sitting on the windowsill, legs inside. The blond ninjas was beaming and swinging his legs in the air like a small child.

"Wassup?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke turned his head to look at him. He wondered how it was possible that his friend didn't hate him, after all this time. After all he did to his friend, mostly to her. There were no words for his thoughts, too many emotions were in a battlefield inside of him.

Nights when he couldn't sleep, he had gone to the village gates and watched the woods outside of Konoha. He had thought about leaving the village for good. But he didn't want to escape anything difficult. He had tried to imagine his life as a missing ninja but hadn't been able to picture it perfectly.

Under the eerie light of the moon, his emotions were easier to bear and control. He wasn't sure if it was the silence the night had brought with its presence or was it the anonymous the darkness provided.

"Nothing really", he said and looked at his friend's happy features. He never understood how Naruto was always so optimistic, after all they saw and after all the ninjas they fought against and killed the blond ninja was simply happy.

"Have you talked to her, yet?" the blue eyed ninja asked bluntly cutting to the chase.

"Not, yet. What would I say?" he asked.

"Well. I don't know. It's your thing."

"The last time _**I**_ saw her was when we were _**thirteen**_ or something. Tried to follow me but I hit her and she fainted", Sasuke said and closed his eyes. She had been his best friend and still was, in a way.

"I know she knows it but maybe you should still say it. _Aloud_", the happy ninja said thoughtfully.

"No", he said, "I can't pressure her. Make her do something she doesn't want to." _'Done that too much already'_, he thought sadly. For the first time in over a decade, he felt emotions clearly, which startled him. He was sad and feeling guilty. He had no idea how to apologize Sakura or could he even do that. And, he had no idea what he'd do with his life in the future.

"Sakura just needs some time", Naruto said as if he had read his mind. Sasuke glanced at him and fell back into his thoughts again. "What are you going to do in the meantime?" the blond ninja asked cutting his thoughts.

He turned to stare at him. He hadn't thought of that, at all. He had been back for less than a week, while during the first week he was in a state like coma. The Hokage had made him go to therapy once a day for as long as needed. And, the rest of the time he just loafed around in his thoughts. Even though it seemed like life couldn't get any worse for him, somehow, he enjoyed life. Having his life being taken for years, he came to appreciate the little things such as having his own thoughts and deciding what to eat. Though he hoped he wouldn't end up like Naruto.

"I could do missions", he said simply and his friend's face light up in a wide smile.

He could be useful again and try to make up for everything. Though, he'd never tell anyone he was trying to make up for the things he had done.

* * *

It was past midnight and once again, she found herself being completely awake and just shifting and turning in the copy ninja's bed. She didn't want to wake him up but she knew she would if she stayed in the bed. Under the covers and next to him, it was warm and peaceful, which made leaving the bed difficult. Her body was reluctant but she made herself slowly to leave the bed. She did it swiftly without any noise and she was happy to notice that Kakashi hadn't woken up. She knew from experience he'd wake up easily if there was someone sleeping next to him.

She took her t shirt and sweatpants from the floor and put them on quickly. The man on the bed was still sound asleep. She crept out of the room to the hallway where her shoes were. Silently she put them on and left the house.

The whole village seemed to be asleep. She loved the atmosphere when everyone was sleeping inside, the moon was light up in the sky and she was alone walking. She didn't bother walking silently and she kicked small rocks on the street and laughed aloud every time her leg missed a rock. The town was eerie (apart from some random people being drunk and trying to find their homes).

She chose the road to the gate villages. She wanted to see the woods in the moonlight, clear her mind and breathe in the crispy air.

She had been lost in her mind, thinking nothing and everything at the same time. When she reached the gates, she noticed Sasuke standing there. She cursed herself for not being more aware, she didn't feel like seeing him or talking to him. But she knew he had sensed her long time ago and she knew she'd have to face him sooner or later.

He was just by the open gates looking into the distance. The moonlight gave his hair a little blue tint making him seem unreal as if he didn't belong in that world. She saw the gate guards on the other side of the gate and wondered if there was a delivery or something coming through. The gates were never open for nothing.

She didn't know if she should approach him, stop and stare at the sky 'til he walked to her or shout something to him. She decided she'd walk to him. But he'd have to start the conversation. With hesitant steps, she started walking to him. She stopped a couple of meters away from him and looked at the woods, too.

For a long moment, they just stood there staring into the distance. Both of them breathed silently and the only voices they heard were the guards speaking. Suddenly, he turned to look at her and started speaking: "It's been a long time."

She looked at him and for a second, she needed to think about what he had said.

"Tried to stop me for going", he continued and she understood what he was talking about, "and I left." He turned his head and looked at the moon.

She was about to say 'but you came back' but realized, he didn't come back. It wasn't Sasuke who had come back. He might've never come back if his body hadn't been forced to.

"Yeah", she said, "but… can I ask you something?"

He sighed as if he had been expecting that question. He nodded his head once and said: "Anything." It wasn't like him to say that. She realized now they'd talk everything through.

"Why me?"

"Because. When Orochimaru decided to come back to Konoha. I was surprised to see you. I saw you were strong and you had outdone yourself. I thought about you a lot. And if I thought something, he also did. You were basically the only woman who didn't annoy me 'til death. So, it's because of me."

She was shocked. He had never said that much to her. And, she felt mad. She took one big step to him and started hitting his chest. She didn't use much power instead she tried to hit the pain away using his chest as a punching bag. "I hate you! Do you have any idea what you put me through?!" she screamed and kept on hitting him. He didn't move at all. "And, now you're going to tell me that he also killed my parents? Is that it?" she cried.

He sighed heavily and she looked up to him. She hadn't meant that. "No", she said, "don't. Don't you dare!" The last thing she needed to hear was that he was also responsible of the death of her parents. All the pain he had put her through. Why hadn't he simply killed her?

He grabbed her wrists and stared at her. "Sakura… if I could've done anything, I would've stopped him." His words felt like sharp needles penetrating her body. Part of her realized that Sasuke himself had done nothing wrong but she needed a culprit. She needed to be able to blame someone.

"NO!" she screamed more loudly than before. She tried to free herself from his grip but there was no strength in her body, only desperation.

"I'm so sorry", he said and let go of her wrists.

She thought her legs would give out but they didn't. Her body seemed to have a mind of its own and she found herself slapping him. He didn't even flinch, he just took her beating and stood there. She wished he had fought back, she wished she could've killed him but most of all, she wished it'd make her feel better. There was a big red spot on his cheek but she didn't care. "You're _**dead**_ to me", she said and turned around. She walked away leaving him alone there.

'_Anger is healthy'_, she thought as she was lying again on Kakashi's bed. _'Having feelings is healthy. I am entitled to erase and rewind him from my life. I am entitled to my feelings.'_ Her thoughts sounded like her therapist's words. It annoyed her and she made herself try to count the cracks on the ceiling though she failed the moment she started thinking about the situation again.

She had walked around the streets of Konoha for about an hour. When she had reached the Copy ninja's bed, she had realized that she felt better. She had also realized what she was supposed to get out of her system. The anger and pain Orochimaru had caused by his actions. But she was forwarding her anger to a wrong direction, she knew it. She couldn't change it because it was all too easy to blame it on Sasuke. A small part in her regretted the words she had said to him but she couldn't take them back either.

She shifted in the bed and turned her head to face the gorgeous man beside her. He turned in his sleep and wrapped his arm around her. His arm was warm and she felt loved. She moved closer to him not caring if he woke up, she kissed his lips. He kissed her back and his arms thigthened around her.

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**A/N: Thanks for the support I've gotten along the way here! I'll update quite soon. **


	31. Something New And Exciting

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters.**

**A/N: This is the second last chapter. I feel so sad for this story to be so close the ending. *sighs* well, I hope you like the chapter. **

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Small pieces of regret were floating in Sakura's conscience. She tried to keep the pieces away from each other because a big bunch of regrets woven together would make things seem worse. Or so she thought. Whenever a small sting of the failure haunted her she pushed it away as forcefully as she could. If she gave herself to the regret, she'd crumble down to small pieces, she knew it.

Sakura was sitting in front of the memorial stone her home key in her hand. She was carving a name to the stone. Not to the plaque where all the other names were but below it where the metallic key could actually scratch the surface of the rock. Y-U-K-I. The little fighter had died a couple of days ago and for Sakura's dismay, she realized she hadn't spent enough time with the little girl. Too many things left undone or unsaid. She let her fingers trace the carved name on the stone and swallowed her tears.

She gazed up to the sky and noticed it was quite early and she knew the Copy ninja would soon show up there. She wanted to leave before he came there, even though she knew he'd know she'd been there. He wouldn't ask and she'd tell when she felt ready.

As she got up from the ground and started walking back home, she realized there was more to her regret than to the death of the little girl. Her mind kept on returning to the last words she had said to Sasuke and she kept on trying to delete his existence from her memory. But she wasn't ready. She wondered if she ever would be.

She already saw the familiar house in front of her. She had started calling Kakashi's house as her home. He had given her an open invitation there and she had spent there as much time as she could. He didn't seem to mind. He cooked and she cleaned. He made the nights seem safer and she'd wake up his arms around her. To her, it was heaven. Though sometimes she found herself wondering what was he getting from all of it. He was just taking care of her and she felt bad for not being able to give anything back in away. He bought the food, he cooked the most wonderful dinners, he was a very neat person and she wasn't and most of all, he took the time during nights to make sure she was alright. She was afraid he'd start resent for all of it someday.

Reaching the yard of the Copy ninja's house, she watched him step outside. For a split second, he stared at her dumbfounded but shook it off quickly.

"Hiya", she said smiling. She was now facing him and he was staring at her.

"Morning. Didn't notice you leaving", he notified.

"Mmm. I'm a ninja. Taught by the best."

"Seems so. I gotta go, see you later?" he chuckled and she nodded still smiling. He gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

She watched him walk to the direction she had come from. Sakura didn't understand how he always seemed to be so carefree. Everything seemed a little simpler in his life. She envied that.

* * *

Naruto watched one of his best friends packing his backpack. He packed hardly any food, a few clean pair of socks and his weapons. Nothing else. This part the blond ninja didn't understand; Sasuke took hardly anything with him and his missions were always as long as possible. From the three months he had been back, he had been on mission around 10 weeks of the time. If he knew he was avoiding something and he also knew exactly whom he was avoiding.

"S-ranked?" Naruto asked.

His friend turned around sighing, "Actually, it's not a mission."

"What then? You're off to training?" the blond ninja asked. He knew exactly what was going on he just dared not to ask the right questions.

"No. I'm leaving."

Naruto both fell into a silence. Asking more questions wouldn't do any good, Sasuke wouldn't answer and bringing Sakura's name into the conversation hadn't done any good in the past weeks so he didn't know what to say.

"Tsunade knows. She agreed, hesitantly though", the onyx eyed ninja said and sat down on the bed behind him.

"When?"

"Around 8 o'clock I think. Need to settle some things before that."

Naruto looked at the clock on his nightstand by his bed. It was a little past 1pm. He knew his life would seem empty without his second best friend. But they couldn't keep him there, never could. He wondered how Sakura would take the news.

"Ramen?" Sasuke asked smirking a little.

"Was about to ask you the same."

* * *

The Copy ninja had gone to the memorial stone and after that he had visited the Jounin HQ. Tsunade had sent a message earlier saying she needed to see him as soon as possible. He had thought it was about Sakura's wellbeing or about a new mission but he was surprised to hear it was about Sasuke. He had decided to leave the village.

Normally, there wouldn't been any need for the Hokage to tell him the information before he had left. But he had understood the hidden agenda she had for him. He needed to make Sakura talk to him. It'd be the last time they most likely every saw each other again.

He walked quite lazily back to his house trying to figure out how he was supposed to convince an angry woman to see the man she hates the most in the world. Reaching his house, he knew cutting straight to the subject never hurt anyone. No wrong speculations would be made.

He found her on the bed. She had her eyes closed and she was perfectly still. He knew she was meditating and wondered if he could startle her. Silently, he walked to the bed and as he was about to wrap his arms around her she already had a tight grip on his wrists.

She opened her eyes and grinned at him. "Never let your guard down."

"Unless it's me?" he asked laughing a little and she let go of his hands.

"No. Not gonna happen. Or maybe..." she laughed, too, "I had some trouble staying in focus so I started concentrating on everything else except the meditation."

He sat down the bed beside her. She pulled off his headband and his mask down to his neck. "What's on your mind?" she asked after studying his eyes carefully.

He wondered if she was just good at reading him or was he really bad hiding his emotions and thoughts. "Sasuke's leaving the village", he said.

She visibly flinched at hearing his name and moved a little further away from him.

"For good. I know there are some things you need to talk before he leaves", he said quietly.

To his surprise she just nodded and looked away. He knew she was afraid of confronting him. He moved closer to her and they sat in silence. Soon, she placed her head on his shoulder and breathed heavily in and out. He let his fingers run through her hair

"When?" she asked quietly.

"About 8 o'clock."

"Alright. I'll go."

***

The sun was setting making the air become a little colder. Sakura felt goose bumps take over the skin on her hands it was partly because of the lowering temperature but partly because she was anxious. She was sitting on the exact same bench where Sasuke had placed her after making her faint. Thinking back, she realized she had known nothing about life at the age of 12.

She tried to swing her legs in the air but the bench was too low and her feet kept on hitting the ground. It all reminded her how much times had changed during the seven years. She'd say her goodbyes soon unlike then she begged for him not to depart. Back then she felt like she'd lose her life and heart with him but now, she felt like she was just about to start her own life.

She felt his presence there.

"Hey", she said quietly as Sasuke was walking closer to her. She knew she needed to start the conversation.

"Hey", he replied. He looked surprised. He didn't walk too close to her, which was good because big part of her was still deathly afraid of him. She didn't feel comfortable around him, she wondered if she ever would but realized that she'd never find out.

"I'm- I'm sorry", Sakura said and fell silent. She had no clue what else to say. She was genuinely sorry and she hoped he knew that.

She looked at his face and saw that he was just as lost with words as she was.

"No. I'm sorry. And, I'm not asking your forgiveness. I just need you to know it. Heck, I wouldn't… haven't forgiven myself."

She turned her gaze to the gates. It was easier to avoid his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet."

* * *

_About 4 months later…_

Kakashi opened the door to his house. He felt practically dead, he'd been on a difficult mission for the past two weeks. He had barely slept or eaten plus there were some wounds that his private nurse needed to heal as soon as possible.

After taking his shoes off, he felt soft hands pulling himself to the living room. He wasn't really up to her games but he was too tired to fight back.

Before he knew it she had pushed him down to sit on the couch and she was straddling him.

"Hi", she smiled widely.

"Yo", he said and closed his eyes. He felt like he could fall asleep there under her any second.

"No, no, no, no. Keep your eyes open. Oh, let me get these off", she laughed and with a few swift movements she pulled his mask and headband off. "I need to see your facial expression when you hear this."

"What?" he asked and suddenly he felt a little anxious though the tiredness was still overwhelming.

"Okay, keep your mind open for all ideas, suggestions and possibilities, alright?"

He nodded.

"Okay", she said and took a deep breath, "well. Um. Ah. Yeah. I am… And you are… And we are going to be… um, uh, er, parents."

For a long moment he only stared at her not actually understanding a word she had said.

"Did you hear me? Are you mad?" she asked and he could hear her confidence crack. She was already pulling herself away from him.

He shook his head and took her hands in his. "No, no. I mean yes. No, I'm not mad. I never thought… me a father?"

Her smile came back on her face quite quickly and she nodded. "You're going to be a great daddy for our little boy."

"Boy? It's a boy? How do you know?" he asked. His mind was too full of questions.

"Hey, aren't I the greatest medic in this universe? How could I not know?" she laughed.

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter will be really cute. I hope you'll love it. If you have any suggestions for new stories or ideas or anything, feel free to message me. -danax **


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